On A Clear Day...

On A Clear Day You Can See Forever was a 1970 film starring Barbra Streisand, Yves Montand with a phenomenal supporting cast that included Jack Nicholson, Bob Newhart and Mable Albertson.  The costumes deserve a nod because the modern costumes were done by Arnold Scassi and the period costumes were done by Cecil Beaton... 

Before it was a movie it was a broadway musical with music by Burton Lane with book and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner in 1966... it was based loosely on the play Berkeley Square... it's about a woman who has ESP and has been reincarnated. I'm not going to be talking much more about it... but if you have never seen it you should...or even if you have it's worth another look.

The reason I'm bringing it up here is not so much that I believe in reincarnation (but I don't really judge people who do) (too much)... but that I think each and every one of us if we have lived long enough then we have lived different lives through the years as we evolve and grow. Anais Nin said "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage" I've lived by these words...truth be told I still do... but a new ingredient got added to the recipe when I read Cormac McCarthy's book No Country For Old Men in 2005 "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from"....

Something I finally figured out about art (I spent a better part of my youth trying to figure out) is that art is seeing or finding yourself or a window to someplace else that is not you and you have not previously experienced it... it's a lot like love and friendship.

I've travelled down many roads and learned a thing or two along the way... oddly I did not always learn it when I should have... for example I just figured something out a few days ago from a situation about... well a long time ago... I sort of scolded myself for not seeing the the truth to the situation and the people involved when the events were unfolding... but with some thought and reflection... I don't think I was ready to face the truth about the people involved until I put all the pieces together a few days ago... but what I did learn at the time (OK, OK it was 1976) is that everything in life can either be art or rubbish... from the way you dress, to the way you keep your house and the manner in which you speak right down to the way you write and sign your name... Someone involved in the aftermath and helped me pick up the pieces and move on said something I still think about every day..."If you want to know what your future looks like then pay attention to the choices you are making today and where you want them to take you tomorrow."

All of this boils down to what you believe in  and what you dream about will all be reflected in how you feel and how you live life. I'm a big believer in dreams from the ones we manifest from our conscious thoughts and desires to the unconscious ones while we sleep... I think all dreams need attention; some people just write them off... but when you really think about it... while we sleep we go into a lucid coma and can slip through the veil of reality into a place of very complex experiences from our inner thoughts... I've often thought we forget or remember them for  very important reasons and it's important to take the time to give some thought and reverence to the ones we remember... the others well... they are lost to time like tears in a rain storm until they come back when it's important that we face or understand what they represent... Sometimes with our life like some of our forgotten dreams or the ones we can't really make sense of initially...we loose our place or direction in the plot of our own story (sometimes for years) because we are not sure who we are or where we are going or what the point is... but then we find someone or something that helps us pick up the thread of the narrative of the story... patience is important sometimes to for the story to make sense again...

So here we are and hopefully we have had the courage to step outside of ourselves and our safety zone and live the many lives and meet the various characters in the story and are different people because of the  journey...If you remember I once wrote here we can't judge someones entire story by the page we landed on...we have to take the time to learn the previous chapters before we can help write a new chapter. Some people become not so nice different people and all of this goes back to the choices we make today to where we want to be tomorrow... the same holds true for who or what we want to be tomorrow... but we have to start today and sometimes be very disciplined with ourselves not to let people or the events turn good to bad... I've written before and it's been said a million times by other people "Beauty is as beauty does." but you have to really understand that most of real beauty is the way you think... and the sparkle in your eyes and the way you smile... and your ability to make others smile... you have to have inner beauty deep down to your soul... because the way you look is going to fade... but what is deep down is there forever unless you throw it away because you no longer care about it.

That being said in the journey so many things have happened that I have not so much forgotten about (because I don't think anything should be completely forgotten ) but put in a box and wrapped in bundles with ribbons and put high on a shelf and not dwelling on the people or the situations involved and moving on... you sometimes need to take them out and reexamine people and things for what they are and painfully what we wanted them to be... probably one of the most important lessons... you can't make people be what you think they can be... they show you very clearly what they choose to be... and ignore that at your own peril...going back to 1976 and what is left from all of it is that sometimes there are really shitty fucked up people and don't try to see a good that is not there.

So besides travel and books

... music has probably been one of the most influential factors in my life... and I am grateful that I have been able to make a life and a living from it as a result...in the not so distant future I'm going to write another segment about music... but for now...think about this... music is essentially any note between twelve octaves...12 notes and the octave repeats... music is the same story told over and over in different ways... and how we interpret and hear those notes is what makes it beautiful or discordant...with music you can either forget everything and clear your mind... or remember everything or find something new and fill your mind. I know I wrote this before a few years ago but it bears repeating... certain music or songs will always take me back to certain people and situations or take me someplace I've never been before.

But back to the movie... I don't really think that anything happens by coincidence... there is a message from everything and everyone who crosses our path... otherwise they would have taken a different way... or left the story earlier or later... the fact that they are here in our story is that they are here for a reason... with that.. if you knew how difficult it was and what I've had to do to build and rebuild my life ( a couple of times) and put it back together on a foundation of peace and happiness you will understand why I'm very particular at this stage of the story of who I allow to be a part of it.

I've talked to a lot of people in the last couple years either on line, or by telephone, text or my favorite (scented letters delivered by the postman) the common theme for most is loneliness...I'm very lucky because I've rarely felt lonely except when I was living and working in the wrong place surrounded by the wrong people... that in my opinion is the worst loneliness next to the people who have outlived everyone who don't feel any sense of connection or belonging the ones who are left... and unfortunately many people decorate the absences and voids with all the things except what is missing... and usually it's as simple as sharing anything that matters with someone else.

I had really something else entirely in mind for this segment but as I was finishing my last installment I leaned the news that my closest and best friend (since 1965) had died... and I've had some very difficult days and nights since... in the middle of one of those nights I thought about something Isabel Allende wrote (I'm paraphrasing  but) "People only die when we forget them...if you can remember them they will always be with you."... it's one of the most difficult things but we have to not so much learn to live without someone but look for the love and life they left behind inside us.

So I woke up recently on a clear day... and I felt I could see forever because a new chapter was starting with a new me...

I'm not entirely sure where it's going yet but the beginning of the next chapter is about keeping my worldview flexible so that I'm not suck with the guidebook that worked previously and worrying whether those rules still apply...

Thank you for your patience... and for sharing the journey... Well it's summertime again... and I'll be taking my usual break (to hopefully get the things finished from last summer) Whatever you do have fun... be safe... see you in September!