I hope you enjoyed my musings about Paris last week... I enjoyed revisiting even if it was just in my memories... This week is more about a viewpoint I've had most of my life...
When I was a child I preferred interacting with adults and listening to adult conversations rather than interacting and/or playing with other children as I found most to be well... childish and juvenile... that coupled with the fact that puberty started for me earlier than my classmates and the other children in my circle. I spent more time with older children in sports related activities and was always presumed older than my actual age; it proved most beneficial in regard to most things but backfired as a result of a serious misunderstanding in a mens room when I was 15 when a much older man assumed I was well over 18 (I seriously had no idea I was being hit on)... life went on and I continued to enjoy spending time with older people and soon I was served cocktails during air travel and in nice restaurants... because of the way I looked and how I was dressed and the manner in which I behaved and because of my overall carriage and demeanor people assumed I was older.. and I ultimately learned the difference between polite conversation and pick-up lines... I remember the first week I was in college when someone asked me what subject I taught and thought to myself that I needed to make this misconception people have of me work for me in some way or another and in most instances it did with the exception of when I was auditioning and I was often considered too old to play a part around my age bracket... or often I heard I looked too sophisticated (believe it or not I sometimes still hear this). It was really around this time that I started interacting a bit more with people around my age... but truth be told I actually spent more time with grad students and actual adults--- I think all of this gave me a little bit of a head start with a few things in life and I realized that sometimes certain things in life will open portals to opportunities that might otherwise be unavailable but only if you are open to exploring uncharted territory physically and emotionally and should be used to the best and most positive possible advantage.
I wrote in an earlier installment that traveling has really shaped my attitude and outlook about people places and things... I've always felt at home in the world primarily because I have great respect for and appreciate different cultures and backgrounds and it was during my time as a student that I started to learn even more about the different ways people grew up with customs, traditions and beliefs and really appreciated the things that we could share with each other to enrich each others lives whether it was sharing childhood stories and experiences or new cuisines or just a new way of looking at some issue or idea. From the people I've met in life and the places I've visited I've been able to incorporate some new traditions and evolve others and subsequently my life has become so much richer and interesting as a result.
I also wrote once that I had been to a number of swell parties and special occasions at various clubs and country clubs... but it was around this time in my life that I really noticed the exclusions and restrictions that certain clubs and organizations had in place to only allow a certain kind of person in and keep others out; as a result I felt I had to take a step back from the fraternal organization of was involved with on campus and move out and start thinking for myself and be solely responsible for my actions and attitudes alone without judgement and interference.... it took me years to fully understand that these prejudices like most all others in life were based on fear of others who do not fit a narrow and well defined category of likeness and complicity and how a certain kind of person can be cultivated within a group to relish passing judgement and scorning outsiders. I've subsequently been to many other events at clubs; dining dancing and golfing but I still don't like the "Country Club Mentality" and won't under any circumstances join one that has exclusionary rules based on race, religion or sexual preferences; as for visiting I have had to make a few heart rending concessions for business related events and a couple of times for the sake of family and friendship.
While I was in school I needed to take some elective course work outside my major to augment the curriculum and one of them was a psychology course called Individual Differences and honestly of all the studies I have done outside of my degrees or interests this one has had the most profound impact--- essentially it is the study of Differential Psychology that study the way individuals (or groups) differ in their behavior and the cognitive and emotional processes that relate to preferences, values and how these factors can relate to personalty, intelligence and choices and in addition the study of how these individuals or groups can deviate in behavior or attitude going from a neutral state given a visual or physical stimulus--- while I was taking this class we had to participate in test groups used for the research in the department; one of the graduate students was doing his dissertation on how our projections can convey our age range, gender identification, income level and other important characteristics including political party affiliation... I learned quite a lot in these exercises and ended up contributing an additional theory that of we can project what we want people to believe about us by what we wear and how we behave and carry ourselves and that even identical twins have individual differences and unique characteristics and behavior patterns... but I knew this all along... What I have carried away from it is the ability to appreciate all of the things that make us unique as well as look for the qualities in people and organizations that can connect and unite us.
If I had a wish for the perfect work atmosphere it would be built on a foundation of creativity and sharing different ideas,cultures, outlooks and knowledge based on our differences and backgrounds.... By all of this I mean that I don't want to be in an environment with a "Standard Operating Procedure" with no room to grow and improve and evolve. Just as I once preferred the wisdom and experience of people older than myself I have a new appreciation of that expanded experience but also the importance of working and learning from my peers experiences and accomplishments but also from those who are younger who can impart new visions and ideas into old ideas or standards who hopefully can appreciate what the collective collaboration can achieve by working together.
I went to a photo exhibit at a gallery in New York City in the late 90's showing some of the brilliant work by a man named Sam Jones who had produced some phenomenal portraits of celebrities in a whimsical way that really cut to the essence of who or what they really were as people... (or what they were projecting for us to believe they were)...but one stood out more than the others for me and it was of George Clooney and it was at that very second that I figured out the magic of what it takes to be successful in life... Fitting in but standing out!
And while I appeared and acted older when I was younger I'm thankful that I look and behave younger than I am now and am grateful for the experiences and wisdom I gained from both... and while it was not always easy fitting in and sometimes not wanting to stand out too much the rewards have been worth the price paid for both! See you next week!
vive la dif·fé·rence/ˌvēvə lä difəˈräns/
exclamation
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I wrote in an earlier installment that traveling has really shaped my attitude and outlook about people places and things... I've always felt at home in the world primarily because I have great respect for and appreciate different cultures and backgrounds and it was during my time as a student that I started to learn even more about the different ways people grew up with customs, traditions and beliefs and really appreciated the things that we could share with each other to enrich each others lives whether it was sharing childhood stories and experiences or new cuisines or just a new way of looking at some issue or idea. From the people I've met in life and the places I've visited I've been able to incorporate some new traditions and evolve others and subsequently my life has become so much richer and interesting as a result.
I also wrote once that I had been to a number of swell parties and special occasions at various clubs and country clubs... but it was around this time in my life that I really noticed the exclusions and restrictions that certain clubs and organizations had in place to only allow a certain kind of person in and keep others out; as a result I felt I had to take a step back from the fraternal organization of was involved with on campus and move out and start thinking for myself and be solely responsible for my actions and attitudes alone without judgement and interference.... it took me years to fully understand that these prejudices like most all others in life were based on fear of others who do not fit a narrow and well defined category of likeness and complicity and how a certain kind of person can be cultivated within a group to relish passing judgement and scorning outsiders. I've subsequently been to many other events at clubs; dining dancing and golfing but I still don't like the "Country Club Mentality" and won't under any circumstances join one that has exclusionary rules based on race, religion or sexual preferences; as for visiting I have had to make a few heart rending concessions for business related events and a couple of times for the sake of family and friendship.
While I was in school I needed to take some elective course work outside my major to augment the curriculum and one of them was a psychology course called Individual Differences and honestly of all the studies I have done outside of my degrees or interests this one has had the most profound impact--- essentially it is the study of Differential Psychology that study the way individuals (or groups) differ in their behavior and the cognitive and emotional processes that relate to preferences, values and how these factors can relate to personalty, intelligence and choices and in addition the study of how these individuals or groups can deviate in behavior or attitude going from a neutral state given a visual or physical stimulus--- while I was taking this class we had to participate in test groups used for the research in the department; one of the graduate students was doing his dissertation on how our projections can convey our age range, gender identification, income level and other important characteristics including political party affiliation... I learned quite a lot in these exercises and ended up contributing an additional theory that of we can project what we want people to believe about us by what we wear and how we behave and carry ourselves and that even identical twins have individual differences and unique characteristics and behavior patterns... but I knew this all along... What I have carried away from it is the ability to appreciate all of the things that make us unique as well as look for the qualities in people and organizations that can connect and unite us.
If I had a wish for the perfect work atmosphere it would be built on a foundation of creativity and sharing different ideas,cultures, outlooks and knowledge based on our differences and backgrounds.... By all of this I mean that I don't want to be in an environment with a "Standard Operating Procedure" with no room to grow and improve and evolve. Just as I once preferred the wisdom and experience of people older than myself I have a new appreciation of that expanded experience but also the importance of working and learning from my peers experiences and accomplishments but also from those who are younger who can impart new visions and ideas into old ideas or standards who hopefully can appreciate what the collective collaboration can achieve by working together.
I went to a photo exhibit at a gallery in New York City in the late 90's showing some of the brilliant work by a man named Sam Jones who had produced some phenomenal portraits of celebrities in a whimsical way that really cut to the essence of who or what they really were as people... (or what they were projecting for us to believe they were)...but one stood out more than the others for me and it was of George Clooney and it was at that very second that I figured out the magic of what it takes to be successful in life... Fitting in but standing out!
