Who makes them? I really don't... for several years I've always said... I'll look back on what I did wrong this past year and try to make it right or at least improve it... from that I've always added... I'll do whatever it takes to do the best I can and do the right thing... and since covid... on 31, December for the last few years I've lifted a glass of Champagne at midnight and said... "This year... I'm going to get older and gain weight and try not to die!"... I've sort of combined all of this into a nifty little package and these are my declarations for a new year... Well this year I'm going to amend all of this to include... I'm going to do whatever necessary for for health, happiness and well being... If you really think about it... this is a lot to achieve in just one year... but sometimes you have to carry goals and plans into another year and sometimes a year after that too. I think too many people make unrealistic unachieved goals and fail early and give up... instead of saying "I'm going to loose weight" say I'm going to loose 10 pounds and 1" off my waist (I've done it before and I can do it again) you just have to make the commitment to eat a healthier diet and get a reasonable amount of exercise every week.... if you don't like going to the gym... try swimming or playing tennis... (little secret I'm planning to sign up for tap dancing class... I already know how to tap dance... but going to a dance studio once a week sound like a fun way to get some cardio during the winter... at least to me)
A diet is more than the food we eat and the exercise regime we follow... start looking at it like this...
It's what you watch and read and listen to... it's the people you associate with... it's as important to be mindful of not just the food you are putting into your body but all the things that contribute to your happiness and emotional well being... with that I'm pulling back a bit from the negativity of mainstream and social media.
It took me some time to realize that you can do anything and everything you want... but the good things take work and time... I hope some of the lessons I've learned along the journey can help you too...
All of the lessons we learn from stumbling and falling and getting up and brushing ourself off and starting again give us a new strength and perspective each time...
- Don't expect any sort of honesty from people who lie to themselves.
- You will never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
- Save your explanations to people who are determined to understand you.
- Give silence to people determined to misunderstand you.
- Your life is too short to do something you hate 5 days a week for 2 days of freedom.
- Don't be upset by people you don't respect.
- Life is not tiring... but wanting a life you want but don't have the courage and confidence to achieve it is tiring.
It takes bravery to break old habits... but have the courage to sit down with yourself to talk about your mistakes...Whenever you need it... have the strength to say I will not let you treat me or speak to me in this manner... If you loose site of things look back to see how far you have already come and how many bridges you have crossed (or burned when necessary)... and all the other heart pounding and sometime scary things you have already done to get to where you are now... and give yourself credit for all the little things you have done... or are going to do...Please remember you will never have everything all figured out... life is always probably going to resemble an abstract impressionistic painting... but at the same time you and life are a work in progress. Don't make the mistake of waiting for the perfect day and time... it's never going to come... but remember everybody on the planet has the same 24 hours to work with... and what you do with that time is up to you.
If like me when I was unsure of where to start... I started at the beginning... and on the first day... I went outside and got some fresh air... and felt so good I decided to spend more time outside... and realized that exercise helped me get a better nights sleep... with a clear head I was able to find the people, places and things that are meaningful to me... and built relationships from that... during this phase of getting started with something and for the rest of your life... listen to your inner voice... it will always lead you where you need to go (sometimes before you might be ready) but listen and don't let anyone including yourself talk you out of it.
Everything started changing for the better in my life when I made the decision that I could not afford to be associated with people or situations that bring out the worst in me...It's exhausting and it takes too long to recover...I chose a positive force and path that allows calmness and happiness over negativity and chaos... seems like an easy choice... but you sometimes have to step away from it to feel the differences. Some simple steps are...
- Not invited... don't go.
- Not told... don't ask.
- Invited at the last minute... decline.
I don't want to sound trite... but with the sum of loss and grief in the last few years... more than anything else I've learned that time is precious and tomorrow is not a given or a promise... so get the tattoo, eat the cake, go on the trip... take a chance while you can... if you want this to be your year don't just sit on the couch waiting for it to happen...go out and make it happen.... Be brave.
... where should we go next?
See you next month... me ke aloha!
