Several years ago I used to go skiing with the same group of people and usually some new people would join and it was alway nice to have new blood to ski with but mostly for the after ski activities (I know what you are thinking) but you are wrong (well except once or twice)
I learned a long time ago it's better to rent a condo in lieu of staying in a hotel because it really saves money in the long run... and it's nicer (in my opinion to have a place that feels like home after a long day on the slopes... This is usually what happened after dark... we used to trade off each night who would cook and serve dinner for the group (it usually worked out that each person cooked one night)... and on the second to the last night of the trip we had a pot luck that consisted of the leftovers from each persons meal and it was usually quite good (maybe interesting is a better word)... and the last night we all went out to a wonderful restaurant,,, but all the other nights after dinner we listened to quiet music and had marvelous conversations while putting together jigsaw puzzles (one person each trip was required to bring the puzzle and host the apres-ski dinner puzzle party)... I was never really a big fan of puzzles until these trips and we worked on some amazing puzzles from Pop corn (quite difficult considering that most all the pieces look alike) to beautiful scenes from around the world.. (these were my favorite)
With all the time we have had to spend indoors in the last year and not out enjoying the world I've given a great deal of thought to those ski trips (some of my favorite vacations as skiing is my favorite sporting athletic-social activity),,, and the people, the meals and the puzzles... We have a few puzzles in the closet and I thought of bringing them out... because I actually like doing them they're great tools for memory and sharpening your attention to details... but we didn't for some reason... we enjoyed each others company and talked about the turning points in our lives (there have been several this year and not easy ones at that)... and looking forward to being part of whatever the new normal is when the world and everyday life starts firing on all cylinders again. I have not been in a store except to buy groceries in almost an entire year...shopping on line has had it's advantages... (like shopping naked while drinking coffee)... the idea of a puzzle party appealed to me so I ordered something like this as a holiday present... (from a photo I sent the company of a past trip we took to a nude beach)
Alas... it is likely to be a late gift or for Valentines,,, because the company is so far backlogged I was notified it would not arrive in time for the holidays this year... with everything that has happened this year I've learned to put minor inconveniences and setbacks in the proper perspective... a few other things I picked up this year are..
to appreciate the effort someone who tries to stay in touch... it shows they care...
and the flip side of this of knowing who to cut off and walk away from and who to be patient with. Having the strength to walk away from toxic people full of self hate was one of the more difficult pieces of the puzzle to deal with this year...
life changes and we loose pieces of the puzzle and pieces of ourselves that we may never imagined would be gone... but gradually you find new pieces of the puzzle (or they find you)... and upon reflection are more suitable and viable than the others they replaced...
taking chances and looking for those puzzle pieces in new places and with new people are crucial for any sort of success or positive change because you never know what you might learn from having that chance conversation with a stranger (it used to be my favorite thing about flying alone)... you and everyone you meet along the way carries a piece of the puzzle with them... something from Leo Tolstoy has always stayed with me and I say it often and I've written about it here... be careful to see and understand everything and not loose anything between the shadow and the act...
... it's very important to remember that some of the pieces can be found listening to silence... and being more aware of your surroundings and the coincidences that take place regularly that maybe you take for granted or don't notice anymore... sometimes they are in forgotten memories that you might get a brief glimpse of in a dream right before waking up.
Everything and everyone and every place has to grow and change because that's all a part of life and living... but it's often important to remember the person you were before you knew what you know now and all the things that have happened along the way up to and including getting your heart broken for the first time... that person is still somewhere deep inside of you... you can't be that person anymore... but don't completely turn away and forget who you were and what you gained from the journey.
There are a lot of puzzle pieces in the world.. and sometime you have to try a few to get the right fit.. and sometimes the right piece might lead to something that breaks your heart... but it was necessary to give some peace and tranquillity to your life and soul. Someone said to me at a class reunion that I changed a lot... my reply was... a lot changed me.
There was a line in Lillian Hellman's book "Maybe" that has stayed with me since I first read it...
"There are missing pieces everyplace and everywhere and they are not my business unless they touch me. But when they touch me, I do not wish them to be black. My instinct repeat instinct is that yours are black"
These words have served me very well in terms of other people's actions and behavior and how I conduct my life... but since about a year ago I've found a missing piece from this as well...
... all the insults, judgements and shade people have attempted to throw my way are merely projections of their own lives and insecurities and are completely irrelevant to me and my life.
I'll leave you with this to consider...
So as is my usual holiday tradition I'm taking some time off (maybe a little more than usual) because in addition to everything else the year has brought and taken away... we are dealing with a few of life's turning points and they have managed to intertwine and it's going to take some time and finesse to deal with them effectively... so whether you have been naughty or nice (a little naughty and nice in combination always makes for a festive time)... I hope you have a splendid holiday season... See you in 2021!
Thanks for reading... if you get bored go back and look through the archives.
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