walk on eggshells
to try very hard not to upset someone or something Everyone at the company was walking on eggshells until we heard that no one would be fired.
Etymology: based on the idea that eggshells are easily broken
I had something all together different planned this week... but like winter blizzards that close airports and disrupt the best laid plans we have to learn to be flexible and know how to make new plans when necessary.
Something on television this week reminded me of something long forgotten... in the situation comedy a neighbor asked if she could hide some new purchases from her husband at the neighbors house so as not to upset her husband and avoid a confrontation and argument...the crux of the story was the woman needed to stand up to her husband and stop being controlled by him and his whims and tantrums...
... I grew up in a household governed by an emotional bully in that everyone had to watch what they said, how they said it and behave in a manner at all times so as not to upset or ever contradict "the bully"... I think my mother felt it was easier to play the game than to ever face the fury and the fall out that would result; however she would have never let the neighbors know of the subtle game of manipulation being played at our house because ours was a house that always kept up appearances... all of us learned how to avoid conflicts and arguments in different ways for different issues but in all of them the underlying and the most important factor was.... MONEY... money was at the top of the manipulation list in terms of how and where it was spent to how much was spent on any given item... all of us learned very early to say that any purchase was on sale; to the practice of taking newly acquired clothing directly to the dry cleaner to have the price tags and any tickets cut off and then dry cleaned put on hangers and wrapped in plastic dry cleaning bags... so they had the chemical scent of freshly dry cleaned clothes rather than the aroma of new clothing...
...the ruse sometimes became so elaborate we would leave the faux dry cleaning in the trunk of the car and then swiftly hurry it inside the house when the coast was clear to the back of the closet and could only to be brought out to be worn several weeks or months later... and if any item was commented on or asked about we could easily say without it being a lie that no it was not new...with an added "I found it in the back on my closet"... there is much much more to all of this but I won't go into it (because it's making my skin crawl just scratching the surface of this)... but I remember when I first lived away from home and it seemed like such a luxury to bring garments home in the tissue, boxes and bags they had been wrapped in at the sore and put it on and worn the same day.
I remember telling someone once I think maybe the most terrifying thought to me is being held hostage (I still feel that way unless by some miracle I'm being held hostage with MacGyver)... but from watching that television show and reflecting back I've been held hostage by emotional bullies growing up and in the work place and the reason I"m bringing all of this up is I said last week that if you turn your back on the past you are destined to revisit it and someone who read last weeks entry asked me to elaborate... so from what I grew up with when I first lived with someone (romantically) I fell into the same trap of going through this charade with my new clothes until he finally said to me... "you don't need to do this because I don't care if you buy something new... in fact you deserve it"... what music that was to my ears to actually hear you deserve it and it dawned on me that perhaps the game we played with the cleaners was just another manipulation to get us to jump through more hoops (I'll never know for sure because I've cut off all contact and communication with this person for a laundry list of reasons)
I experienced different levels of manipulation in the workplace but they all had one common denominator in that the narcissistic emotional bully had to have his/her way at all costs and their feelings and comfort were the only thing that mattered... suffice to say we all learn to deal with people and situations when we are ready because I once was making myself sick by staying at a job and working for a person I despised until I finally just hit the breaking point and went to live in the Caribbean with friends for a couple of years and eventually learned to confront emotional bullies and blackmailers head on and forge a workable professional relationship and environment... but sometimes you just can't ...like when the one and only time in my life when I went to work and handed in my keys and company credit card and walked away...with my dignity and it was that very sunny summer day that I realized I have my whole life ahead of me and the only thing I can control is how I react to the things that I can't...I thought of that day again when the blizzard last week hit and all the airports on the eastern seaboard closed... I've seen every possible melt down at airports for delays from aircraft problems to weather conditions and terrorist activity... and I always do the same thing if I'm at an airport ... I buy a bag of popcorn and head straight for the first-class lounge where it's easier and less stressful to make a new travel itinerary.
Finally what all of this has taught me is from this point on in my life I'm taking no prisoners... and I'm not going to ever be held hostage again unless someone actually has a gun held to my head... From about the time I left home the one axiom I've held on tight to is...
See you next week... we are taking another journey to either Greece or Israel...I can't decide right now because I love visiting both places equally!
