Sometimes it's easier said than done to turn one of life's corners and move on... simply because sometimes we don't want to let go or can't for some reason. I am so ready to let go of the last few years... the last year in particular and start a new chapter. But it's important to take stock of everything and leave behind what or who is unnecessary and obsolete and pack carefully what we might need for the journey and the destination.
I don't think I need to tell anyone that 2020 was a year unlike any other in our lifetimes... In our house we had some difficult lessons and issues to deal with most especially the loss of friends and loved ones who lost their battles with cancer, covid-19 and time.
As a new cycle in life and history is starting we are grateful to have each other and that the love we found in each other 21 years ago has grown and matured with us on the journey... and with some of the loss and sorrow we learned that it is important to go where we are celebrated and not just tolerated if there is no real value in continuing the journey with someone then it's time for a new start with someone and something new... to put more simply is that the only people we really need in our life are the people who need or want us in theirs.
In Buddhist monasteries mindfulness bells are used regularly to remind people to come back to the present in case their minds have wandered into the past or worried into the future. We have used the same mindfulness cuts by using bells in our house that are all around us. With just three conscious breaths we can release the tensions in our body and mind and return to a cool and calm state of presence. That’s all it takes. Three unhurried breaths...This very simple exercise of keeping our thoughts focused on the here and now and not escaping to somewhere in the dark past or writing future dialogues and scenarios.
The other important lessons have been that the world and life as we know it can change quickly... and that true friends have been and will always be our greatest treasure....and that being alone and being lonely are completely different... and that hope really matters when things are difficult... and living by being brave and being a hero to someone or something or even to yourself are the tools to finding strength... Finally what has been a life journey for me to learn came into focus this past year...is that what lasts, lasts; what doesn't, doesn't... and that time will take care of most of the things and what time can't solve we have to figure out how to do it for ourselves.
Another thing that has taken me a lifetime of lessons over and over again is that we can't make people be more than they are... my life improved dramatically (again) when I started seeing other people for who they are and not what I was hoping they could become... the flip side of the coin to this is I will never again underestimate the value of my instincts particularly when it comes to first impressions of people and situations (I've always been right 99.99% of the time) but people have tried to talk me our of them by telling me I'm being judgmental or that I should give people another chance... well I almost always give people a second chance with almost everything and anything unless it involves downright cruelty... but I'm holding on to my judgements based on my first impressions because I've been tricked for the last time.
It's been a horrible year and yes there have been other hideous years that were in some ways more difficult to overcome... a couple of times in the past I have been so overcome with grief and disbelief that I sometimes had difficulty getting out of bed and venturing into the world... but the last year awarded me with a purpose (that I don't want to explain right now... I'm considering writing about it in the future but I'm undecided ). As slowly as the last year has been and I have spent a lifetime wanting time and travel to move more quickly to the next destination... the circumstances of this year afforded me the opportunity to spend more time alone at home with my thoughts to make plans and decisions I might have not made if the world was spinning on it's axis the way it used to... so for us and where the world is right now it's important not to be afraid to start over... because we might like the new story even better than the one we just finished.
If we think of our life and the world in terms of being a book... it's important to read all the pages and resist the urge to stop reading if we don't like where the story is going... and know that we have within us the power to take the story where we want it... but also knowing that difficult roads can often lead to beautiful destinations.
I can't wait for the world to open up again because I love to travel... because it's one of the things that has most contributed (besides reading) to who I am as a person... with both I have had the opportunity to see life and people around the world and sometimes walk in their shoes and if not at least experience their life and culture... but always to taste their food and consider their views and viewpoints.
I came across something recently that really helped me turn the corner with the the issues and circumstances of last few years and in particular the last year...
In the last year... the only real shopping I have done has been for food at the local neighborhood supermarket and Trader Joe's... and some various and sundry necessities delivered from Amazon...I really have not missed buying things and realized we have most everything we want and need... the only thing I really want (world peace and unity aside)... is this parapluie (that's an umbrella for those of you not taking classes on Duolingo) I find it très charmant!
Oh... and I figured out a couple of other things along the way to this past year finally ending... there are a handful of important things that are going to come in really handy after we have taken that leap of faith in turning the corner and moving on that take absolutely no talent and training to master...
- Being on time
- Making an effort
- High energy
- Having a positive attitude
- Being passionate
- Good body language
- Being coachable
- Going the extra mile
- Being prepared
- Having ethics
Thanks for joining me... see you next time. Stay courageous!
