You're Not From Here Are You?

At Home In The World

I've always suspected that perhaps there was a mix up when I was born and subsequently sent home with the wrong family... as I spent most of my childhood with little to nothing in common with those  I shared meals and a house; there was  nothing of any value or substance between the shadow and act in our lives.  I did little to meet them half way and vice versa--- The simple matter of the fact was we just did not get each other... we were like trapeze artists always missing each other in mid air; it became glaringly clear once at a family party one of the guests asked me how I knew the family--- I just replied that we had been acquainted for many years; which was more or less the truth in a sad way. There is a Beatles song on The Sgt. Peppers album about leaving home after living alone for so long (I could relate).

The upside of all of this is I know my way around the world better than most people know their way around the block; I have always felt at home in the world--- If Pan Am flew there then I've visited and subsequently hundreds of other locations around the globe that I've been able to collect precious memories and trinkets but most importantly learn about other cultures, lifestyles and make some wonderful and lasting friendships.

A strange thing began to happen to me in the towns and smaller cities  that Pan Am did not offer flight service... People stopped me in elevators and in stores and restaurants and asked me the same question "You're not from here are you?" ... it to me was them trying to tell me that I did not fit in or belong in places like Lincoln Nebraska or Kansas City Missouri, Houston Texas or almost anyplace in the vicinity west of Chicago or east of Denver.. I'm not putting these cities or anyone down in any of these places because I've actually had a good time in all of them at various  points in my life. The only time it ever really stung was once in LA (I spent the better part of my somewhat misguided youth there) I guess I washed off that part of my life in the years that followed--- but I did  put a great deal of thought into the question and concluded that maybe most people did not have the opportunities to travel and experience the world and the rewards culturally and spiritually that visiting other places and lifestyles can offer or they just don't want to and prefer to join Country Clubs where they can always count on seeing people cut from the same bolt of material and the cuisine does not wander too far from their comfort level. Again I'm not passing judgement as I've been to many fine parties and enjoyed wonderful meals and clean swimming pools and played tennis and golf on the wonderfully tended grounds of many fine clubs in the world but I just find many exclusionary to the point of being racist, bigoted and homophobic or the members were too afraid of anyone or anything that is different than what they classify as "The Norm". Frankly  I prefer other venues for socializing and entertainment. I think the reason  most people join clubs is because they feel at home and comfortable there (and if you look around the room most are middle aged and older) so I've more or less concluded that it's not really my place to deny anyone that luxury if it suits them in the final seasons of their life. I on the other hand have more adventurous plans that may involve a passport and a boarding pass and meeting and accepting people from all walks of life.

I once did some courier work for a museum and also an upscale auction house and later a couple of jewelers  and they actually paid me to travel  and carry priceless art and jewels around the world.... I don't do this anymore mostly because it's too nerve wracking what  with crime and the state world today not to mention the sometimes unnecessary second searches in airports that are not always as covert as they should be. I'm only bringing this up because someone once asked me how I handled the responsibility and I replied that I did my best to blend into the crowd and be as invisible as possible--- This actually evoked a snort and laughter and a response of... "The way you look and the way you carry yourself it's impossible for you to blend into the crowd."--- It made me sad in a certain respect because  I knew they were right but it was another way another person was trying to tell me I did not fit it.

For many years of my life there were many empty places inside of me that came from a world that did not always embrace unique... I tried various ways to fill the empty spaces by running away to find new places and experiences, I always had a time table (I miss airline timetables--- obsolete since computerization) available and at one point in my life I knew exactly when the next flight
to Paris departed. I was looking for new things and  people but I eventually realized that it was self acceptance of all my qualities that made me who I am... I have to admit something--- I was really terrible at being a boy but through the physical and emotional journeys of life and growing up I became a really fantastic man. Perhaps one of the most important discoveries in self acceptance and self esteem was discovering clothing optional beaches and resorts... I really learned about accepting myself

and others for what they are with no shame or judgement. It's a very liberating feeling to let go and be happy being yourself not to mention that there is so much less to pack physically and emotionally as there is very little pretense or pretending... But don't forget the sun screen if it's the first time your bits are facing the sun! 

With all of this I remember being in Santa Fe New Mexico some years ago during the Balloon Fiesta. I love Santa Fe and New Mexico as it truly is "The Land Of Enchantment"... But if you know me and you know Santa Fe you might think that we are as different as night and day...  at the end of the trip when I was at the Albuquerque Airport waiting to board my flight a woman in the waiting area asked me where I was going and said I was waiting for the flight to Denver to go to LA and then back to New York and she asked me how long I was going to be gone and was baffled briefly and told her that was where I lived.... and she said... "Oh I've seen you in the square on The Plaza  in Santa Fe a few times and just assumed you lived here... you just  fit in for some reason".... So there  it is the answer I had flown around the world several times looking for... You just fit in for some reason.  I guess like most things it's about appearances and attitude.

It's sort of like a club I guess... you fit in where you feel the most comfortable and welcome and accept yourself enough to fit in. I have to confess the only club I've ever gone out of my way to join are the airline VIP clubs that get you out of the terminal and in a quiet place to gather your thoughts between flights... I'm happy I was not in one of those that day in New Mexico as I would have missed one of the nicest compliments and life lessons I've ever received.

These days my partner in life and in crime and I are happy staying home with friends we have from around the world and sharing our individual differences with each other... . But that's not to say we don't have something new we can learn and teach each other in our new corner of the world... The best thing about being at home in the world is you can touch down on almost any corner of the planet and be pretty self sustaining and happy... OK see you next week... think about who people others say you remind them of and first impressions... that's what is on the menu next time... Be brave and don't let unhappiness or anger keep you poor.