Life Lessons

 I had something else completely  different planned for this month... I was planning on revisiting Australia  and recounting  an amazing road trip that I took from Melbourne to Sydney along the coast... I'll pick that up again next month so I hope you'll join me again in November.

Since the deaths of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry my mind went down memory lane about a few things and people...

I've met and worked with a lot of amazing people over the years but sadly Dolly Parton and Tim Curry were not among them... but almost.

I mentioned that I did the variety show circuit on network television... and was thrilled to get an opportunity to tape an audition for a new show ABC was producing in 1976 called Dolly. It was a typical variety show format with music country and popular, dancing and comedy sketches. And from what my agent told me at the time I was selected to go to Nashville and audition there... but as we found out at this point... The show was scheduled to film 26 episodes in Nashville... my problem was that I had contractual obligations to other projects and it would have been impossible... so sadly I had to step away from it. I would have loved to have done the show... it started off very strong and was moderately successful but by the end of the season viewership dropped and Miss Parton was not thrilled with the grueling schedule of taping a weekly show... so they pulled the plug.

A couple years before my agent told me that my head shot and demo tape was sent  out for a part in the chorus of The Rocky Horror Picture Show ... I never got an audition or a call back for that... once I saw the movie I understood completely... also I was once invited to a party where Tim Curry was the guest of honor in LA... sadly I was in the hospital.... I could write a lengthy rundown of all the things I auditioned for and subsequently was not cast or was replaced. Once variety shows lost their appeal to television audiences I reinvented myself and started more doing stunt work (I wrote all about it in Landing Jelly Side Up) and off camera voice work.  I've admired Miss Parton and Mr Curry tremendously and would have loved to work with or even meet them... but that's the way the ball bounces and the cookie crumbles sometimes.

I've written previously about my varied careers that included but were not limited to  entertainment, travel, fashion, education and my involvement in sports and coaching... each gave me a unique skill set and I learned the lessons that go with them... I'm not going to go into them in detail (although someday I might) but what the common threads were that helped me with each of them is...

I learned very early in life that eventually everybody dies... and in real life it will happen on an ordinary day in the middle of unfinished  plans maybe a busy schedule, and the world will go on without you so it's important to make those ordinary days as extraordinary as possible and to live your life to the fullest.

I've been thinking in the last couple of weeks all the things I did not know before I started traveling and reading and meeting new people and having all the various experiences and adventures I have  called my life up to this point...  For that matter there are still lessons to be learned and people to be met and books to read or reread... but life had some harsh realities to be faced and lessons to be learned that started about 10 years ago... in the middle of all of it I said to myself "I really need the chapters coming up to be a love story maybe a meaningful romantic dramedy and not a bite in the ass harsh life lessons that they have been up to this point"... and they for the most part were and still are... that's not to say there have not been sadness and difficulties... but I'm looking at the world and the problems and the joys differently now. Basically I finally accepted that many of the bad things opened my eyes to all the good things that I was not paying close enough attention to.

I'm going to side step briefly... I have always taken pride in the fact that I'm informed  about what is happening in my own world but also bigger picture in the world around me...that being said since 2024 I've had to take a step back... I've made the best use of the mute button on the television remote control... and perhaps most importantly in our house we rarely say his name... he knows nothing, he reads nothing, he listens to no one, nothing he says is clever or intelligent, he and his family and friends are thieves and cruel... and this administration brings a new level of stupidity and  embarrassment to the world stage almost every single day... so I get and digest the news that I need to know... but let go of all the distractions that are being hurled like bombs every day and will deal with them on an as needed basis. This new attitude is largely responsible for me taking back my sleep and having the ability to laugh and sing in the shower again.

The one thing I've noticed over the last couple years is there are a lot of really angry unhappy people walking through their lives and not living it... and I was afraid of becoming one of them.. There are five pretty easy fixes I've learned over the years to get yourself back on track..

1. Make sure your body is in the best shape possible... it's the reason I've made the commitment to swim 2-3 times a week and to fully hydrate and eat well. Don't overlook all the benefits of getting a good nights sleep and spending some time in the sun every day.
2. Make sure you are thinking clearly... I'm not someone who meditates but I spend a few minutes every morning and before I go to sleep focusing on all the positive things and working out solutions to whatever issues are robbing me of being as positive and happy as possible.
3. Be fiscally responsible... with everything costing more than it ever has and all of us feeling squeezed at every turn... it's more important then ever to manage your money wisely and track your expenses carefully. In a perfect world we should aim to be debt free... that's not always possible especially now... aim for spending to be less than what you have coming in.
4. Work on your relationships with yourself and your tribe... your watch words should always be trust, respect and healthy honest communication. I'm saving my love and my battles for the people and situations that matter most.
5. Focus on your habits wake up early and take stock of your life every day. Be consistent with your words and actions... eliminate unnecessary distractions that might be holding you back. Put more energy into the things that bring you satisfaction and joy.

I've always had a very remarkable gift for reading people and situations... people have tried to talk me out of it by saying I'm being too judgmental... but not listening to my instincts has always been a mistake that I won't make again. As I've gotten older I've really fine tuned this gift... it's a blessing and a curse sometimes.

Over the years I've learned that the weakest people are often quite cruel and always look for other people to blame. People consumed by jealousy are usually extremely miserable... Unintelligent people often talk the most and are the loudest... Liars always promise a lot and never deliver. A wonderful lesson I learned about these people is that being disliked by them is actually a very good thing.

On the flip side.. strong people are almost always kind. Intelligent people remain calm at all costs and are often the quietest people in the room listening. The happiest people usually live very quietly and keep their circle small  and always  stay out of other people lives and business... and know that everything is temporary so it's important to make life as rich and delicious as possible... It's important to create memories you want to keep. 

One of the most difficult lessons for me has been cutting ties with toxic people...once you have the strength and courage to do that... it's important to completely cut the ties with the version of yourself that allowed whatever it was to continue for too long. Remember that abuse can sometimes be somewhat  benign... If you are struggling and the people in your circle just sit and watch... they are not your people... move on... it's important to let go of the people or memories that make you sad, angry or are holding you back.

No matter how painful things are today... eventually you will look back at it and realize the struggle in most cases actually made your life better... It's really important to always keep in mind that we usually meet people for a reason... either they will in some way change or impact our life...or we will have some influence in theirs in other ways... and we should never take everything too seriously and try as hard as we can not to take everything personally... in a nut shell this is what I learned in order to survive the entertainment industry... and almost everything the world throws at us.

It's been a long and winding road from 1976 to today 50 years later... maybe one of the most important lessons I learned was that growth and happiness was not about becoming something  completely different... but finally feeling safer just being myself. I've always been happy I don't have a fake image to maintain... what you see is what you get... some days I'm absolutely amazing and on some others I'm a dumpster fire...but in every one of them I'm always me... In a world that is obsessed with being extraordinarily perfect... there is a deep peace and satisfaction with being a good human and being somewhat ineffable. 

Taking the time to get called back to the people and events that have made us who we are is not always easy but usually very interesting and worth the trouble.

Thanks for reading... see you next month we are going back to the land down under for an amazing drive.