Show Some Respect

Someone once told me if you have an appointment to see a medical professional, or legal adviser dress in your very best and you will be part of the "Club Of Good Clothes Wearers" and will likely be treated with some deference and maybe given special treatment. I can tell you with absolute certainty that sometimes flying I have been upgraded because of the image I presented... but there is more to it than that it's also your attitude, manner and perhaps most importantly your manners... no matter where you go there you are but wherever you are going you should always try to put your best foot forward... I once had to go to the police station to make a statement and someone who I knew was dating an undercover detective at the time and we were having dinner and I was musing about what to wear while we were talking and the detective said "dress as expensively and classy as possible... because policemen  see all walks of life in their job and give some even if it's slight favor to those who appear ummm well to do... but don't forget to have your fancy boarding school manners  or the clothing won't really matter.... they will just think you are another wealthy asshole"... well I followed his advice and I have been following it ever since... So when you need to make a good impression (which should be all the time) put a little extra thought and effort to what you are putting on...

But make sure you look fairly classic and if you look like a fashion victim... take it off and start over.

I'm bringing all this up because in the last few months  two people I know died and I went to a memorial service and or/funeral and was shocked with what people wore to show their last respects.... come on people you have no excuse now... I just googled it and came up with this...

Funeral Suit Attire

• Dark suits are good choices. Grey, black or blue is acceptable... 
• White or blue shirt...
• Dark tie that is either black, grey, blue or maroon....
• Dark belt that matches your outfit...
• Dress shoes are obviously important because you are wearing formal attire...
• Jewelry is okay so long as it's in good taste...

What I saw was about 60% of the people either were not raised in a barn or knew how to do and internet search... the remaining 40% thought jeans and aloha  shirts were acceptable or jeans and variations of sweatshirts, sweaters. tee shirts... I'm not kidding... I don't even dress like this to go to the theatre although many people do and I think in todays casual world of there are no rules that apply to me many people have lost sight of the simplest courtesy of showing respect.

OK I am a big believer of I don't want to look like everyone else walking down the street but when you are at a memorial service or a funeral it's not about you... it's about the person you are there to say goodbye to and in this instance and I'll go ahead and add weddings, bar mitzvahs, sweet 16 parties... it's OK to blend in to the crowd... but you can still look crisp, tailored, sincere, ingenious and powerful... and that my friend is what is going to set you apart. I have just such  clothes for almost any celebration or somber occasion... and I delighted myself in December when I found a Jill Sander suit in the back of the closet never worn that I had bought to wear to another funeral after I had quit smoking and it did not fit right because I had gained too much weight... but I lost the weight and with the help of a man Spanx it looked divine on me but more importantly  I did not stand out from the crowd wearing something that said "notice me... I'm too avant garde to pay attention to mere social considerations."

George Clooney Photo Sam Jones

I think sometimes people forget that we are judged by the luggage we carry, the car we drive, the fragrance we wear... frankly we are judged on just about everything by almost everybody whether you want to admit it or not... but probably most  by what we are wearing and/or not wearing. Many people believe that a fashion sense like charm is just too exhausting to sustain... after a while it simply becomes second nature if you try.

 I think it's important to know that showing respect for others is in itself an important way of showing respect for yourself...See you in two weeks!