31 January, 2026

Spain- Everything Under The Sun

My memories of visiting and enjoying Spain and everything it has to offer goes as far back as the early 70's. Spains national motto is "Plus Ultra" meaning "further beyond" and it captures the country, culture and people perfectly.


Tourism particularly in the Costa del Sol experienced a massive tourism boom in the early 70's transforming sleepy fishing villages into bustling International resorts. Affordable high-rise hotels and glamorous high end nightlife and upscale retail slowly built up to what is is today while staying true to its history and charm...Long before the euro the devalued peseta to the American dollar or the English pound made it very, very affordable... it was during this frenzied expansion when I had my first taste of life in Spain... what I remember really loving best was despite the fact that the country was still living under the dictatorship of Francisco Franco until his death in 1975 there was a true La Algeria De Vivir attitude ( a vibrant, cheerful enjoyment of life) and a laid back charm that still exists... My early travels to southern Spain were spent mostly in Torremolinos, Malaga and Marbella and eventually extending to Benalmadena, Fuengirola, and Puerto Banus. If you ever saw the movie "A Touch Of Class" with Glenda Jackson and George Segal it will give you a taste of the flavor of the region at the time.

James A Michener wrote a book in the early 70's titled "The Drifters" detailing the lives of six young people from different backgrounds as they travel through Spain, Morocco and Mozambique searching for identity during the height of the Vietnam war. As with all Michener novels its visually stunning in the descriptions of the locations and its in-depth  examination of the political and cultural attitudes of the era...I enjoyed the book but felt very little  connection with the characters and their motivations... but the books description of Torremolinos  was mostly what inspired the first visit.

I was thinking about my early trips there recently and about the person I was then and the similarities and differences of the fascist dictatorship in Spain at the time and the one we are currently experiencing in the United States... I'm not going to go into any of that in this months installment... But what I really want to say is that Costa del Sol has grown and changed over the years and I've been lucky enough to be a part of the evolution.... The next photo is what it looked like back then...


and now...



I've written previously in almost every travel piece I've shared here... the reason I travel.. in a nutshell for those of you who have recently started reading... Travel has afforded me the best education possible for understanding different cultures and learning about the world and it's people... in addition I've been able to sample amazing cuisine and create unforgettable memories from my experiences... on top of that my travels have taught me to challenge myself and be adventurous  and enjoy life... sometimes it's important to relax and escape reality for a short time and take a holiday away from worries and everything else life can throw at you... I said way back in a very early excerpt it's important to look at new landscapes sometimes to make new decisions about where you want to go and who you want to be and what you need to do next. There is a magical ingredient to travel that when we get home it's still the same...but the secret magical ingredient from travel somehow alters something in our mind and/or perspective...and it changes everything...
Always remember... tourists see the world... but travelers experience it.
My personal motto has always been... any money you spend on eating well, dressing well and seeing the world... is never a waste.



Getting there is half the fun... but you will eventually find your way to the Airport in Malaga... I've been there more times starting in London (you can sometimes get a less expensive flight if you go out of Gatwick) it's about a three hour flight with a one hour time difference... From New York Kennedy Airport there is a direct flight that takes about seven and a half hours and it's 6 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time.


The actual airport and your next mode of transportation have overwhelmingly improved over time... when I started visiting you really needed to rent a car... now you can take a train from the airport as far south as Feungirola... there is also bus service and car for hire ride shares... I still recommend renting a car unless you are staying at a resort and plan to spend all or most of your time there... I personally like the freedom to get in the car and explore... it's about an hours drive from Marbella to Gibraltar...I highly recommend the short excursion for an afternoon or an overnight quick get away.



The Costa del Sol is  the costal  border of the province of Malaga. Malaga City is in the eastern part of the province. Torrmolinos is the (or used to be) the epicenter of gay life in southern Spain. Playa Benalnatura is the official clothing optional beach in Benalmadena Costa... it's a short drive or bus ride from Torremolinos. 









I've been going to nude beaches for about as long as I can remember and this is one of the best... It's a small beach but there are a lot of amenities...restrooms with showers, umbrella rental and a beach bar that serves beer, wine, mixed drinks and snacks... practically everyone is nude and there are signs that prohibit bathing suits.. but because it's a public beach it can't be enforced if you feel you must cover up.. but it is enforced at the privately run bar... you actually have to be naked to be served. Frankly I could spend my whole vacation here and enjoy the different shops and restaurants in the area.... there are two other  beaches that offer clothing optional areas further west that could be more of a day trip... 




In terms of accommodations... well there is wide variety that all depend on your needs and budget... there is a place I really like in Marbella that has rooms, suites, bungalows and villas... a spa... a tennis club and amazing restaurants and easy access to golfing about 20 minutes from the hotel... but I'll let you in on a secret... if it's clean, quiet and they have room service and do not disturb signs, maid service and a swimming pool and a decent restaurant... I'm happy.


There is so much to do in addition to a day trip to Gibraltar... you can take a ferry from Malga toTangiers Morocco in about 3 and a half hours... there are historic guided tours... you can visit wineries... I took a cooking class on a couple of trips...


I can spend the better part of a day and evening wandering around Marbella, there are great shops and restaurants...





 

I don't know if you are familiar with the phrase "Top To Toe In Tailbacks"... its an English expression that means being stuck in a long line of slow moving traffic... often with red tail lights visible in all directions. It's during such times... especially if snow is involved... that I start formulating an escape to someplace warm... like Spain...



The Costa del Sol has a Mediterranean climate with long hot summers and a very  short mild winter...The hottest months are July and August and the coldest January and February... but even in the winter it's clear and bright and definitely beats the dark winter days and nights of Northern Europe and the Northeast in the United States.



It was here once that I got back to being myself again...the happy me that was not afraid... the unapologetic me... the fun, kind and adventurous me that was willing to take risks again. I learned sometimes there is no silver lining for certain events... because  there are certain things that never should have ever happened... Period. A lot of water went under the bridge before I learned all the lessons and I looked at my reflection in the mirror one night and said... "you've been through an ordeal and you survived and found your way back to yourself"... I also learned an important lesson about everyone else in the world too... Everyone has a story... and there is a reason why people are the way they are...you have to be careful not to judge because you don't know their story.




Make sure your story is a great one that people will want to share and remember....


There is so much to Spain that I have not even begun to scratch the surface... so next month we will continue on to Barcelona and Sitges...Someone said something to me once there in the moonlight... "You will never no matter how hard you try... be everyone's cup of tea... but rest assured you will be someone else's  double shot of tequila with salt and lime!" 

I hope you will join me again next month... stay safe and warm... or cool depending where you are in the world right now.

01 January, 2026

A New Chapter

 


Before I start... I want to take a moment to express my thanks to everyone who has been reading and especially the people who have left comments and/or sent email or messages of appreciation... Since I've been writing here the last 10 years I've gained some valuable insight recounting my life adventures and gained new awareness from times of quiet reflection... I'm mostly thankful that some of what I have shared has been inspiring or at least thought provoking... so with the new chapter we are all starting today...I hope that 2026 will show us all the road to new possibilities and challenges... that will lead to new adventures and remarkable memories. More than anything else I hope the next chapter is filled with happiness and a renewed or an altogether  new sense of purpose.

Someone sent me an email asking about the circumstances that I wrote about last month when said I had spent the holidays hospitalized and much of the new year in physical therapy... I did not go into more detail because... frankly I just did not want to share some very private details of my life... but what I will say is... I was grieving a life that was lost too soon and at the same time one that I would not ever have again because of it...at the same time I was trying to carve out a new future that I was unsure existed... I was not myself anymore and was unsure of what was left in the rubble that was once my life that I could use to rebuild a new life and identity... I'm fine now... but it took a lot of time and work... I had to learn the important lesson that my problems and issues could only be solved by me and understanding the complexities of my life...and the only way out was to step outside of myself and let go of the past to the point of no return and start rebuilding...  I had to learn the hard way if you want to reach distant shores you sometimes have to be brave enough to swim outside your comfort zone and have the courage to lose site of the shore where you started.



I could never have done it alone... a partial list are the people who helped me heal physically were doctors, nurses and physical  therapists... and the others helped heal a heart they didn't break...the people who listened to me talk about the same situation over and over until I found resolution and closure... I can't forget to thank the people who encouraged and pushed me... and the people who inspired me to look deep inside to find the person buried in the debris of grief to find myself again... and take the brave steps into the next chapter of my life. Life is very fragile..we lose ourselves, we get broken and miss opportunities... but if we're lucky we get a second or a third chance... maybe even a fourth if we're really lucky... to refocus and rebuild... the thing that makes life so fragile is if we stop believing in it and ourselves... it will evaporate and wind down like an old clock.

One of the final turning points for me pivoting out of that period of my life was someone telling me..."Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the pages... how carefully would you read each page?... that is what life is"... so as I've pointed out here many times we can't go back and change the past but we can review and learn what we need to know from the past to move forward...and we can't obsess about the future because it will most likely rob us of what we need to learn and experience now in the present... I had a conversation with someone several years ago who kept talking about how great and easy and carefree their life was as a child... during the course of the conversation I suggested that perhaps it was not that their life was that magnificent during childhood (mine certainly was not) but maybe the magical quality we had as children was that we were not living with past regrets and future fears... we were living almost entirely in the present. One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me when I was much younger... "If you want to get someplace in life don't follow the crowds"



I think we have to be pragmatic and give the future the respect and reverence it deserves... because time does fly and we need to take into account our future needs... but doing simple things that give us joy will sweeten the life we are living today...

So I'm going to give you seven things to do to help make the next chapter flow a little easier...

  1. Don't chase anyone or anything
  2. Don't beg anyone to stay
  3. Know your worth
  4. Save space in your life for the people who matter
  5. Accept what can and cannot be changed 
  6. Leave what isn't for you
  7. Love yourself
This last one is important because no one is ever going to love you the way you imagined and dreamed about...no one can read your mind and have the ability to take a star from the sky and hand it to you...no one is going to show up on horseback with the glass slipper you lost at the ball... that's why you have to fill all of your life with love for yourself... so that when any other love finds it's way to you then that love just adds more icing to the cake that you already frosted.

So now we have all the new chapters to write for this year... we have exactly 12 months until 2027... don't let anyone waste your time...go after your dreams...cut out unnecessary distractions...remove toxic people and walk away form toxic situations...focus on you, your goals and your happiness.

In the last few years I've adopted three rules that have served me well...
  • Don't lie to me
  • Don't use me
  • If you don't want to be around me anymore... just leave
Some of the things that have really helped me cut the static and confusion out of everyday life is... I accept people for who they are...I carefully observe what they say and how they act, and I position them in their appropriate place in my life (or out of it)... it's important that you should never feel you are not good enough or better than anyone else..the only person you should ever worry about being better than is the person you were yesterday. Don't be embarrassed because of your current situation... most everyone has already been there or they still are and like you are trying to find a way out... but you need to make a plan and stay focused... finally if you are alone... please remember...you will be everything to the right someone. You'll make it... I promise.

If you need to dust off  a few things to improve your skill set in this chapter... just make sure you have... 

Manners
Morals
Respect
Character
Common Sense
Trust
Patience
Class
Integrity 

Most everything will probably start to fall into place...but remember sometimes it make take 10 or twenty years to get to that one year that will change your life... don't give up.




So the priorities for the next chapter...
Fuck anyone who made you feel like you were less than... and forgive yourself for believing them... The next chapter is your turn... you are here to take back everything that was stolen or lost. Every day think about the things that make you feel the most joyous and carefree--- make sure you do those things.... or at least think about them every day.

Be brave, be strong, be a warrior... help be the resistance for a better tomorrow...
2025 was a very tenuous year... it's going to take everything everyone has to start to put everything Humpty Dumpty broke down this past year... my hope is that this year  Corporate America is going to rediscover its love of democracy and diversity as the current regime stumbles and fails. 

We have an opportunity to make 2026 a year of positive and dramatic change for ourselves and  the country - if we stay focused.



Next month I think we need to talk about some of the good things that have happened in the world... because it's been such a bumpy ride we have lost sight of some of them... any other ideas?... food, fashion or travel?... or something else?