I've written before about recognizing signs... but it's equally important to be able to read the handwriting on the wall or seeing the forest for the trees! There are a lot of subtleties in life and sometimes things are more obvious and blatant... but if you ignore the signs or cues life gives you it's possible to take the wrong turns... I'm a big believer that eventually we almost always get back on track and maybe the detour was necessary for one reason or another... but I'll get back to this later.
I once was working for someone and a business associate said to one of my coworkers... "Your boss is a fucking asshole" this was on her first day of work and when the story was related to me... I thought to myself if ever there was a time that the handwriting is on the wall perfectly spelled out and with flashing lights... this it it. Frankly my first impression of him was that he was an asshole and though my tenure working for him he proved it over and over. I don't know why it's sometimes difficult to leave bad business situations, or horrible relationships and break toxic patterns... all I have learned from this particular circumstance is that we move on when we are good and ready to take control of the situation and go down another road to a better destination. In this particular case a great deal of time and work went into making the circumstances within the company better and in the process more profitable and successful.... the positive reinforcements in anything make walking away (or sometimes running) a heart rending decision... and that decision rests on the answer to the question "What is worse... the pain of staying where you are or the pain of growth and change"?" It's usually never easy to find the answers... but after about eight years I came to realize that he was in fact a fucking asshole and I needed to move on to better people and places. The sooner you realize in any situation that you don't have to put up with disrespect from anyone because you feel that it's for some reason destiny, fate or karma... but instead it's simply that it's other people's disrespectful toxic behavior.
When the payoff is not worth the pain most of us use that and the circumstances that contribute to our fight or flight reflex as the impetus to find our way to another road in our journey. Probably the most important thing I can ever tell you is the importance of listening to your own voice and being in tune to what nurtures your soul and tune out the noises of what other people are telling you in terms of what you need to be and where you need to go.
... For me learning to trust my instincts about people, places and situations has been one of the biggest life lessons because I've let people talk me out of them or my inner voice has heard the residual voices of other people telling me that I'm being judgmental... but my instincts have served me well and been on target 99.98% of the time.
I wrote a few weeks ago about the turning points in our lives... they are often in tandem with the circumstances of our life feeling frustrating and/or overwhelming... this is the sign or the handwriting on the wall that you need to recognize and embrace because it's the passage from the old that you have outgrown leading to someplace new and wonderful... and no matter what ... don't try to shrink yourself down to fit with people and places you have outgrown... it's one of the worst decisions you could possibly make.
During any period of our life it's important to go to the places we are drawn to and participate in the activities we love that bring us a sense of balance and belonging...
In a pinch I can find this in a book or in music and sometimes wandering alone in a museum with my thoughts and the muse that comes from being surrounded by beauty. I've talked before about the importance of looking at landscapes that we don't always see... but don't ignore the special places you always seek out... for me it's the ocean and the mountains... but always no matter where I am in the world the sun feeds me something physically and the moon (particularly over the ocean) fuels my thoughts and creativity.
One of the things that I spend a considerable amount of time with is remembering back to a time where and when I wanted what I have now and the roads I took and the decisions I made to get from there to here... I said in an early segment at this point in planing it's important to take note of your wins and losses to use as part of your map to the future; give special attention and fine tuning to anything that might be outdated or obsolete and make the necessary adjustments.
Even if a sign says there is nothing for next 22 miles... there are always people and things to help you find your way... I can't even begin to tell you the insight and answers I've found looking for sea glass and maybe more importantly the advice given by the temporary soulmates we meet on the journey who for some reason understand us more than our friends and loved ones because maybe they understand that something they can pass on that they learned on their journey that is beneficial to ours... sometimes it's a whisper... or a song or the strum of a guitar that reaches down deep inside of us to help keep us on track or is an answer to a question or maybe more importantly gives us a reason to look more closely and ask more questions... and maybe someplace in all of this there is the inspiration for you to draw an entirely new map of roads you travel down every day...
We don't always get to choose the perfect fit of people that we have to work with or spend our time with... but we do get to pick what type of person we are and what we have to offer the world... Me... I have always chosen to be more like Hal Prince... and I've never regretted it. We still have to deal with people like Joseph Papp... but their life and their behavior is on them as long as it does not have a lasting effect on mine...
You are going to meet people in life who are intimidated by you because you are different and you don't want to march to the tune of their drum and because of that they don't really know how to react to you or how to accept people who don't fit in based on their experiences and perspectives so they will try to diminish you and expect you to change to fit their expectations... so here is some hard earned advice from my own experience with these types of people "Screw them" and move on.
Here is the most important sign to recognize and follow...
And remember to dream up!
I've had a lot of dreams in my life and have taken many career paths as a result and with the imposed isolation of being in lockdown because of covid-19 I've been able to draw on some of my success and failures based on my strengths and weaknesses... and when this is all over I'm ready to take a new path I've never traveled that is drawn from courage and compassion. Tomorrow is going to be a new day with new thoughts and a new way of thinking and a new way of looking at life...I was and you were someone completely different yesterday but only if you see yourself and tomorrow as new!
No mater how talented and educated and how cool you think you are... How you treat people ultimately tells everything about you to others... Integrity is everything. We will always find our way if we know the directions and are willing to travel the different roads to get there; but who and how we need to be and recognizing who and when we need to ask for directions is ultimately the secret to finding our way.
See next time... stay home and stay safe!
I once was working for someone and a business associate said to one of my coworkers... "Your boss is a fucking asshole" this was on her first day of work and when the story was related to me... I thought to myself if ever there was a time that the handwriting is on the wall perfectly spelled out and with flashing lights... this it it. Frankly my first impression of him was that he was an asshole and though my tenure working for him he proved it over and over. I don't know why it's sometimes difficult to leave bad business situations, or horrible relationships and break toxic patterns... all I have learned from this particular circumstance is that we move on when we are good and ready to take control of the situation and go down another road to a better destination. In this particular case a great deal of time and work went into making the circumstances within the company better and in the process more profitable and successful.... the positive reinforcements in anything make walking away (or sometimes running) a heart rending decision... and that decision rests on the answer to the question "What is worse... the pain of staying where you are or the pain of growth and change"?" It's usually never easy to find the answers... but after about eight years I came to realize that he was in fact a fucking asshole and I needed to move on to better people and places. The sooner you realize in any situation that you don't have to put up with disrespect from anyone because you feel that it's for some reason destiny, fate or karma... but instead it's simply that it's other people's disrespectful toxic behavior.
When the payoff is not worth the pain most of us use that and the circumstances that contribute to our fight or flight reflex as the impetus to find our way to another road in our journey. Probably the most important thing I can ever tell you is the importance of listening to your own voice and being in tune to what nurtures your soul and tune out the noises of what other people are telling you in terms of what you need to be and where you need to go.
... For me learning to trust my instincts about people, places and situations has been one of the biggest life lessons because I've let people talk me out of them or my inner voice has heard the residual voices of other people telling me that I'm being judgmental... but my instincts have served me well and been on target 99.98% of the time.
I wrote a few weeks ago about the turning points in our lives... they are often in tandem with the circumstances of our life feeling frustrating and/or overwhelming... this is the sign or the handwriting on the wall that you need to recognize and embrace because it's the passage from the old that you have outgrown leading to someplace new and wonderful... and no matter what ... don't try to shrink yourself down to fit with people and places you have outgrown... it's one of the worst decisions you could possibly make.
During any period of our life it's important to go to the places we are drawn to and participate in the activities we love that bring us a sense of balance and belonging...
In a pinch I can find this in a book or in music and sometimes wandering alone in a museum with my thoughts and the muse that comes from being surrounded by beauty. I've talked before about the importance of looking at landscapes that we don't always see... but don't ignore the special places you always seek out... for me it's the ocean and the mountains... but always no matter where I am in the world the sun feeds me something physically and the moon (particularly over the ocean) fuels my thoughts and creativity.
One of the things that I spend a considerable amount of time with is remembering back to a time where and when I wanted what I have now and the roads I took and the decisions I made to get from there to here... I said in an early segment at this point in planing it's important to take note of your wins and losses to use as part of your map to the future; give special attention and fine tuning to anything that might be outdated or obsolete and make the necessary adjustments.
One of the many things I love about Hawaii is it's possible to see a rainbow almost every day and sometimes several times in a single day. I alway see rainbows as a positive affirmation... but recognizing that finding one like finding a guide or an answer from a new or unknown source is mostly what I'm saying in don't miss the cues that life is showing you... because sometimes when you think there is a long stretch of horizon with nothing for the next 100 miles... things have a way of turning around especially on dark desert highways...
We don't always get to choose the perfect fit of people that we have to work with or spend our time with... but we do get to pick what type of person we are and what we have to offer the world... Me... I have always chosen to be more like Hal Prince... and I've never regretted it. We still have to deal with people like Joseph Papp... but their life and their behavior is on them as long as it does not have a lasting effect on mine...
You are going to meet people in life who are intimidated by you because you are different and you don't want to march to the tune of their drum and because of that they don't really know how to react to you or how to accept people who don't fit in based on their experiences and perspectives so they will try to diminish you and expect you to change to fit their expectations... so here is some hard earned advice from my own experience with these types of people "Screw them" and move on.
Here is the most important sign to recognize and follow...
And remember to dream up!
I've had a lot of dreams in my life and have taken many career paths as a result and with the imposed isolation of being in lockdown because of covid-19 I've been able to draw on some of my success and failures based on my strengths and weaknesses... and when this is all over I'm ready to take a new path I've never traveled that is drawn from courage and compassion. Tomorrow is going to be a new day with new thoughts and a new way of thinking and a new way of looking at life...I was and you were someone completely different yesterday but only if you see yourself and tomorrow as new!
No mater how talented and educated and how cool you think you are... How you treat people ultimately tells everything about you to others... Integrity is everything. We will always find our way if we know the directions and are willing to travel the different roads to get there; but who and how we need to be and recognizing who and when we need to ask for directions is ultimately the secret to finding our way.
See next time... stay home and stay safe!
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