Across The Universe

When I was an undergraduate student at UCLA was  probably the first time I realized I was a part of the bigger world that what was beyond where I grew up and the people I knew in my community and around the same time it was the first time anyone ever asked me..."What sign are you?" and... "What is your favorite song?... both questions have been asked numerous times since and the answers are both still the same... Aries... and Across The Universe from The Beatles last album Let It Be ... from the fist time I heard it the words and the music spoke to me and it's the first time I ever looked into researching Sanskrit because the song prominently features a Sanskrit mantra.... I've always somehow heard this song when I needed to hear it to be reminded of what I used to be and/or what I have become from it or it just popped into my head for the same reason.... I heard it again by chance recently and decided to add it to my regular playlist from my music library because I could not get the chorus of the song out of my head... But I'll get back to all of this later.

I've been very lucky that in some of my travels I have come close to seeing across the universe... literally and figuratively... from certain beaches, summits but mostly from the cockpit of a Pan Am 747... some of the most interesting conversations I've ever had were in darkened flight decks or galleys when all the passengers were sleeping or watching a movie... one that I remember most vividly is "In space, there is no weather or atmosphere or seasons... none of the things that we take for granted in our everyday lives"... what I took away from this is being more mindful of all the things we do have even on bad days... The planet we are living on is alive and we are lucky to be a part of it... I remember one year on 24, December our flight was going over the North Pole.. and I thought about what almost everyone probably thinks about flying over the North Pole on Christmas Eve... and also how lucky I have been to have these amazing experiences and eventual memories... I thought about pretty much the same when I was running around on the South Pole once, except for the Santa Clause part... and.. Did you know that when you stand at the geographic South Pole all lines of longitude converge at that point and you are literally standing in 24 time zones?...in theory you can step from today to yesterday... and back into tomorrow... that's one of the reasons I've always wanted to go back.

From this and everything in-between I've seen some amazing places and met interesting people and tasted phenomenal food and cultures... one of the best pieces of advice I was given very early in life was "Don't be a tourist with your life... be of the world"...by all this as it was explained "don't ever feel like you are visiting a foreign place... it's another place in the same world you live in but offers you the chance to expand your knowledge and horizons."  I love to travel because you really have no idea who you really are until you experience yourself through new people and experiences... one of the best educations you can get is traveling, nothing else teaches you more than exploring the world and accumulating new experiences and ideas. I like to do some of the touristy things that most places offer a traveler... but I also like to go off the beaten path and visit the neighborhoods and the restaurants and shops... I usually visit a grocery store, and a dry cleaning establishment and go see a movie or two (especially if it's raining)... all in all I like to do the things I normally do at home with some foreign flavors added in...on one of these excursions someone told me... "The secret to your future is hidden in your daily routine." ... meaning... Don't ignore yourself and your own needs...always be mindful of your posture... take extra special care of your hair and skin, drink plenty of water (at least 2 liters a day) and eat food that gives you energy... get fit and take care not to look sloppy... when you look good you feel good. With that advice I've kept my A-Game... but no matter what and no matter where I am I always get fresh air every day and take a walk and see the world even if it's in my neighborhood... during my walk I think about the things I'm grateful for and some of the things I need to work on improving... my mantra since 2018 has been.."If you focus on the hurt you are going to keep suffering from it... If you focus on the lesson you need to learn from it you will keep growing and move on."...  and on the flip side...

...Happiness comes like luck or love according the the life we lead and the people we are and just as importantly the people we know and associate with regularly... I learned the following from an interview I read once about Eli Wallach... he said "I've learned the secret to pissing people off... I'm happy!"

Ever since the first boarding pass crossed my palm I plan for the trip by doing research about where I'm traveling to and the cultural similarities and differences... as well as handy things like... currency exchange, what the weather and climate are like... but maybe most importantly cultural do's and don'ts... as well as a few handy words and phrases that will come in handy...

• Greetings
• Eating Out 
• Hotel, Airport and Train Station lingo
• Directions
• Help (I'm lost, I need help, I need a doctor etc)

Most everyone everyplace I've ever been usually speaks English as a second language (except in small towns and rural areas)... but If you make a sincere effort to try to speak their language... it makes a world of difference. (All of this is available on your smart phone in a pinch)

... No one has an excuse with this anymore with the technology available now (We used to have to go to the library or book store and do research)...  Do yourself a favor and buy or download a map of where you are going and also if you are going to use public transportation ( which I wholeheartedly recommend especially in big cities)... get a hold of the transit system map and the timetables, rates and rules and regulations...

OK I might as well say it since I've been dying to say it almost my entire adult life... "If you are going to complain that things are different from the way you are used to... stay home and save yourself and everyone else the grief from your endless whining and complaining"... if on the other hand you want to immerse yourself in a new culture and ask questions with an open mind and are sensitive to cultural norms... you will move around more easily, blend in and I'm going to say probably make some new friends...and speaking of blending in... think about where you are going and what you are wearing... I'm all in for people having their own unique style and flavor...  that's all part of your savoir faire... but don't stick out like a broken thumb... I can usually spot a tourist with one eye closed from a pretty good distance based on what someone is wearing  and their attitude...

You would be amazed what comes up if you google.... "What should I wear in Paris during the summer"... easy-peasy packing advice... My own personal packing advice is whenever I am going somewhere I really like to do carry-on only if possible (it makes getting through customs and immigration and being on your merry way whistling a happy tune much faster without having to wait for baggage claim) I wear my best outfit on the flight (people judge your airport travel outfit especially if you are hoping for an upgrade) everything else in my baggage goes with it in a mix and match kind of way... don't make the mistake of packing with the idea that you can make choices at your destination... make the choices before you pack. If you really need something that you did not pack then buy it. (I was once invited to an outdoor family wedding of a friend in Italy during the summer...my wonderful airport/airplane ensemble was not going to cut it. If you go back and read about my first round the world adventure (click on)  Around The World In 30 Days Part 2   I did it all with carry on luggage until the last two legs of the trip (Shopping in London and New York forced me to check a bag)

You have to remember that no matter where you go in the world... there you are... don't travel with the idea of running away... travel with the idea of finding yourself again under new and auspicious circumstances... explore new places, meet new people, try new foods... come up with new ideas and devise an updated plan for your life... and perhaps discovering new places and people and things that you did not know you were looking for until you find it and/or them...that to me is the idea of being of the world and not an ordinary tourist just seeing the sights.

Someone recently asked me what song I would want to have played at my funeral and/or memorial service... I explained that I was going to be an organ donor after I died and would not be having a funeral... I'm not really all that keen on any sort of memorial service particularly if it going to be swathed in sadness and tears... but If the few people who I still have some meaningful connection with want to get together for a couple of drinks and toast to the good times and fun memories... than I would not mind if Across The Universe was played when all is said and done.. because  for me it's always represented  that the world is big and most of the trivialities  of life really don't matter... But at the same time, every little thing has meaning and we should be hopeful and eternally grateful to everything that has made us who we are. The song  at its very core, is a song about the human experience... no matter if the story is near the beginning... the middle... the end of the beginning... the beginning of the end... or the end... there is still more to the story.

Across The Universe (Youtube)

All that being said when it's all over for me I hope there is someone able to get a few of my molecules on a floating lantern in the Shinnyo Lantern Floating Ceremony in Honolulu on Memorial Day.

So now I'm bidding you adieu until September... I'm taking my usual summer off to regroup and recharge... June, July and August are my favorite months in the northern hemisphere because my hair gets lighter, my skin gets darker, the water is warmer, the drinks are colder and the music seems to sing a little more joyously for some reason... I do have a little bucket list fro the rest of the month...

Thanks for reading... Have a great summer... what is your favorite song?... and why?... see you in September!

PS... don't forget the sunscreen and make sure to drink extra water!

Between Chapters

 

If you have been reading since I started this project or if you joined recently I've touched on that we write the chapters of our lives and ultimately, hopefully a happy ending... I don't know if you are like me when I read a book... sometimes I have to stop because I think I know what is coming up and want to take a step back and reflect.. or I just can't wait to see what happens next. For our purposes today I'm going to focus on when we are between chapters and going forward without hesitation or pausing to reflect... I think both are equally important and knowing when you have to choose one or the other takes an acquired skill set.

The way life works as a rule (unless you go into a coma) you can't skip a chapter... that in itself would probably be an actual chapter. You have to read every line and understand what it means and you have to know every character and be aware of what they are to the story and/or what they represent... it's not always an easy read and not always enjoyable and some chapters will make you cry while other will lift you to new levels of joy and enlightenment, and you don't want it to end and move on to the next part of the story... but move on you must... you have to keep going forward. Your story is just part of the many that keep the world revolving and interesting. You have to live each moment of it  not miss a single word or detail.

I'll get back to all of this later... first I want to say that It's hard to believe how fast this year has flown by in spite of the fact that in many ways it's been a somewhat... difficult (is not the right word) journey... but perhaps waring is more on point. Let me start by saying that I just had my one year followup from the kidney donation I made last May and everything is wonderful on that front... I think I mentioned that I had a wellness check consultation with a doctor a couple months ago from my insurance company...  and one of the questions they alway ask is "Are you depressed or anxious?"... my answer was "No not in a clinical sense but I'm having a normal reaction to the world and the political climate in this country right now" and went on to say if people were not sometimes a little depressed or anxious about what is happening in the world right now they are either living in a fools paradise or there is something really wrong with them... A couple of chapters of my story this year include dealing with some skin cancer issues that seem to be (hopefully) taken care of... the rub is I now have to go back to to the skin cancer clinic doctor every six months for the rest of my life (better safe than sorry)... wish I had embraced  sunscreen about 40 years sooner... but you can't go back... The other thing is while I was having my year check up for the kidney donation follow up (which mostly involves giving blood and urine samples to make sure everything is operating on all cylinders the nurse who was taking my vitals told me...Your heart rate is 190 you have to go across the street to the emergency room right now"... so fast forward to the ER when you come in and you are having a medical emergency of this nature you get to skip the line and they immediately attend to you and did and EKG and moved me to a sort of ER area that was semi-private with a door and hooked me up to a heart monitor and injected me with something to bring my heart rate back to normal... and it worked... but it did not last so they gave me a pill that is slower acting but a longer lasting version of what they injected and monitored me for five hours to make sure I was stable and then sent me home with instructions to see a cardiologist ASAP...  I've already done all that and now have a prescription for what they gave me if it happens again and I have an appointment for next week for more diagnostic work and a heart monitor that I will wear around for a couple of weeks. (I can take a shower and live my life with it but no swimming or baths)

C'est la vie... truth be told the only time I really love a bath is after a long day of alpine skiing.

So the ER doctor and nurses explained to me how lucky that I was so close to the hospital and dealing with this quickly as the situation could have turned deadly or at the least "really bad"... they managed to scare the crap out of me and once I had the sense to call my other half with the 411 about the 911... I used my phone for the mirror feature to see how I was holding up under the circumstances ... not great but my hair looked fabulous ( I took selfie to document the moment)... the hours dragged by and another person was brought in to share the space with a divider in-between us to give us each a small shred of dignity and privacy (with all the fluids they were giving me in an IV I needed to pee about every hour into a bottle sitting up in the ER bed thing... I also took this moment to promise myself that I was going to  enjoy the rest of my life in the most positive and fulfilling way possible (as I'm sure everyone does if they think this could be the end)...Somewhere in the day that was dragging by I did realize that I had a Citi bank credit card bill due the following day and if I lived through this I did not want to jeopardize my good credit report so I paid the bill on my phone app and decided at that moment I was going to get the somewhat unreasonably priced jumper that I have had on my wish list (I bought it yesterday after I got home from the cardiologist... I'm bringing all this up because if you read back to the other ER episode I wrote about here... I'm Not A Doctor But I Played On On TV... from ease dropping on the patient next to me and from what I could hear from all the drama playing out outside the room I was in... I felt very lucky to be me at the moment and not any of the other people dealing with their health emergencies  and would deal with my issues probably easier in the coming chapters (with superb blond highlights and wearing a delicious white Stone Island jumper with a good credit rating intact)... I'm not being glib because I also thought about my seven minutes... I read somewhere that after death the human brain lives on for seven minutes replaying it's best memories... I have no idea if this is scientifically accurate... but I love the idea and would like to think that most of my seven minutes will be played from somewhere in the life that I've lived with my other half for more than the last two decades and the best parts of everything  will be prominently featured with meaningful background music.

So from the darkest depths of the Weill Cornell Hospital Emergency Room the next day I woke up at home in a place that feels right and my heart is calm (and not beating 190 times a minute) my soul is lit, my thoughts are positive and my vision is clear. I'm at peace with where I've been, everything and everybody I've been through and where I'm going from here. I had the pause that apparently I needed to take by resting at the hospital and reflecting... and now I'm ready for the next chapter.

But before we move on... the other insight that came to me while I was waiting to be discharged and sent home is that at a certain age we are all feeling tired and worn out and often uninspired to conquer the world and all the uncertainties... but we have to find a way to replace the cynicism that stole our optimism and joy to something useful... we all have to trust ourselves enough to take the risks we need to take to connect us to the person we need to be to move forward... because now more than ever I believe it's foolish to try to be something we used to be... time to move on... one of the things that came together for me in about 2018... was all the things that I thought were drowning me were actually teaching me to be a better swimmer.

I have had a couple of days to reflect on the fact that I don't like how angry I've become since the outcome of the last presidential election.. It is not me, but I'm angry because I care. I honestly don't ever remember being this angry and upset on a continuous basis. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this... I can see it in the attitudes and the faces of perfect strangers I encounter every day...I think I've turned the corner on this because... it's OK to be angry... but it's not OK to have your anger turn to cruelty (mine has not)... I've also given careful consideration to the way people and attitudes have changed over the last 8-10 years and the key issues seem to be  lowered expectations, lack of discipline and perhaps most importantly is normalized hate and disrespect... the difference is this time... I'm not letting it keep me up at night over analyzing every aspect of every news report.

With that I give you this to consider...

"I dedicate myself to myself,

for the rest of my life, without haste,

without excuses.

I don't know how much time I have left,

But I want to spend it remaining true

to who I am, without letting anyone

disturb my inner peace.

I now grant myself the right to open

a bottle of wine for no particular reason,

to buy myself flowers without waiting

for someone to give them to me,

to walk without ever looking back.

Happiness found me the day

I stopped looking for it in others

and discovered it within myself.

Life cannot be replayed.

And I have decided to live it to the fullest."

~Meryl Streep~

And this...

“It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly... Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them...throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you...trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That's why you must walk so lightly...on tiptoes and no luggage...completely unencumbered."

~Aldous Huxley, from “Island”

I've been a fan and have read everything I could get my hands on since reading "Brave New World"

But perhaps one of the most profound things I've come across recently is... 

The most valuable math you can learn is how to calculate the future cost of your current decisions.

As I've considered where I am now and what is coming up in the future chapters is what can I do in the next three to five years that I will respect and appreciate from my deathbed?... I'm making a list... but I've reconsidered happy endings too...

To conclude about the doctors and hospitals... with technology being what it is almost everyone has an app that you can put on your smart phone... my healthcare system does and it's pretty swell... you can find doctors, make appointments etc... and your test results and history are all at your fingertips... while I was a waiting for someone I took a look at what the cardiologist wrote in the notes of my visit yesterday... the gist of it was that it started with I'm a pleasant, positive, intelligent and happy person... so with that I feel like I'm on the right path going forward... but I thought back to the last time I was at the clinic for skin cancer and one of the doctors I had met with briefly last fall came into the room and said "Oh I remember you!"... I said "Is that a good thing? I hope" he said " Yes you are easy to remember" I'm still not sure what he meant but I considered something...

One of my mottos has always been...Everything you do and say is a signature of yourself... sign it with style... it's how you will be remembered...I don't know if that is what he meant... but I'm sticking with this until I'm told otherwise.

Finally... I still have not recovered (I'm not really sure I'll ever get over it) from the fires that devastated  Los Angeles last January... it was a painful closing of a chapter of my life that the place and surrounding community that I once thought I would grow old and reflect on my life burned to the ground and was reduced to ash and rubble...

For me this is one of those chapters that was extremely difficult... and in some ways more difficult to turn the page on move on... as I've reflected on the memories of when I still lived there I thought about the sunsets I saw from my bedroom, and all the parties and different people... and days bobbing on the swimming pool on a float dreaming my dreams and planning my plans... and all the different trips I had taken to various places around the world... and I was always happy to come home to this house...I really don't count my age in years but the memories I had here... and subsequently the memories I have created since... and what I will have going forward... with all of this gone that rebuilding will never recreate I feel lucky to have once been of this place and the community...so until I find my forever home again... I can use that as a guide.

It's been an important life long lesson and not just the events of this past year... but remembering that all the closed doors, heartbreaks, misconnections and disappointments pushed me in the direction I was supposed to go.

For me one of the things that I struggled with the most in life is to let go of the lost friends in our changing lives and understand that not everything and everyone was meant to be around for the entire journey but just maybe for a chapter or two. People are in our lives for a reason and most of them not more than a season or two and the precious few for a lifetime... don't confuse them and try to make them fit where they don't belong... Accepting this makes moving on and turning the page a little easier... but some of those people in previous chapters can still bring important points and insight to the present... My best friend from high school and college father told us both that we need to pay more attention to developing character and not worry as much about our reputation...he went on to explain that your character is who you are... and your reputation is what other people think you are... I've never forgotten that... the other thing was to live your best life... and that the most important aspect of living your best life is a lack of desire to show others you are living your best life... "Your best life won't need validation"

It was not always easy... but one of the things that has always worked to my best advantage is that I've never been the type to try to fit in where I don't fit or belong... I've always been OK sitting by myself if I feel that I need to.

One final thought... I know I've mentioned this before but having had to get undressed in front of a handful of medical professionals this year and been questioned about various scars I've collected over the years after I finished the explanations I added..."They are the proof that I showed up for the battle and fought for my life"

So go back and read some of the passages from the previous chapters that brought you to where you are in the story... sometimes they will give you insight to the next part of the story... If you are still not sure and feel stuck then start by becoming the most healthy, happy and healed person, who is present and confident... and the right path will reveal itself... and perhaps go back to your bookshelf (I hope you have one) and read again with fresh eyes some of the passages that have been important to you in the past and see if they still are... one of mine is...

So next time I'll be talking about the importance of sometimes having  late dinners, long lunches and coffee breaks and getting dressed up... and some tips on traveling whether it's around the block or around the world... meanwhile consider this...

Someone sent me an email asking me what I meant last month about...Be a traveller not a tourist. I'll go into greater detail next month. I hope you will join me. Thank you for reading...

Think about where you want to go and which directions you want to take as your guide...

Life is like a book...some chapters are sad, some chapters are happy and exciting... but you have to turn the page to see what happens next...Stay safe... and happy!

The High Cost Of Living

As you may have realized in the last several years... it's gotten much more expensive to stay alive... and it's going to continue...and get worse...

We all know food, housing, medical care, education and all the little things in-between that we need to get by on a day to day basis are becoming increasingly unaffordable... right now there is very little we can do to offset the financial burdens on our daily life... but a little creativity and imagination can help... I'm not really going to be talking about how to beat the high cost of living as there are numerous items in the mainstream news, blogs and podcasts... today I'm going to write about the cost everyone pays for all the things that you can't borrow, buy or sell.

The costs of goods and services has skyrocketed  since covid... and it keeps going up due to one thing and one thing only... greed. Big corporations got to charge more when they had the chance... and they just kept raising the prices... because consumers keep paying higher prices... everyone has taken a big hit in the wallet... but what no one has addressed is we have paid  a bigger price deep in our soul from being gauged and cheated and disrespected... if we think of this in terms of real issues and needs and not just the things manufactured that we would like to have... we can take back some of the control in our lives.

It became important for me in the past few months to restart my life and get a fresh or new perspective on where I've been and what direction I want to go from here... I have been preparing for what we are facing since I wrote Bad Moon Rising

A constant theme that has run like a magic thread through most everything I have written here involves travel, going places, seeing new vistas and meeting new people... and as much as I have loved every minute of that through  my life... it dawned on me during the lockdown of covid and especially the last few months that it's equally if sometimes not more important to stay where you are and deal with all the issues in your life that need attention and are in desperate need or repair or renovation... it took lockdown for me to deal with destination addiction... that happiness is in the next place, or job or experience... in that you can never experience real happiness unless you find it in the present moment where you are... it's not someplace else... don't get me wrong I still love travel and I always will be don't use travel as a means to find yourself or happiness... please remember that no battle has ever been won by running away from it... and all of our scars are proof we showed up for the fight.

The word liminal as in liminal space...is the uncertain transitional space of where you once were and who you are becoming on the threshold of change... physically, emotionally and metaphorically. When you put some distance between who you used to be and what kind of life you lived... you can learn a lot about moving forward... Just like how there are algorithms that will show you more of what you are interested in perusing  on line... The universe has one within you that will help guide you to what you are feeling, thinking and focusing on. Every action you take is a step closer to the person you are going to become or the person you want to become... It's very easy to recognize this in-between period... it's when life feels frustrating and overwhelming, things feel small and uncomfortable because you don't fit here anymore and the new realm has yet to arrive or take shape...take a moment to appreciate this passage in your life...it's going to lead you to where you belong... if you let it. Most people try to fight this because they fear change and/or the unknown. Please take the time to appreciate that bad days can lead to good outcomes... and wrong turns can take you to the right place... sometimes you have to lose the old you to find yourself.

We are clearly living in a broken world right now and it's a serious and brave thing that each of us are getting up and going out into this world everyday... I came across something recently that reflects my mindset right now...

"Let things break; stop trying so hard to keep them glued together.  

Let people get angry.  

Let them criticize you—their reaction is not your problem.  

Let everything fall apart, and don’t worry about what comes next.  

Where will I go? What will I do?  

What is meant to leave will leave anyway.  

What is meant to stay will remain.  

Whatever departs always makes room for something new—that’s the Universal Law.  

And never think there’s nothing good left for you. You just need to stop holding onto what needs to go."  

—Meryl Streep

I've been wondering recently about some of the people and places from the past and who am I and where am I going...it dawned on me that the person that we know in ourselves only exists for us as individuals... each person we meet, or have a love affair with or simply make eye contact with across a crowded room has their own version of who we are in their head... We are not the same person to our parents... brothers and sisters, coworkers neighbors... there are thousands of different versions of who we are in other peoples minds.... I have worked in the entertainment industry almost my entire life and one of the things that has  always been in the back of my mind every step of the way is "What image am I projecting?"... I think I may have finally reached the point where it's time to retire or become a superstar... because frankly... I don't care about my image anymore... I know who I am and I know my story...my heart and my truth... an image is what fake people try to maintain to show other people... somewhere along the way in the last few years I became a real person... who does not care about my image anymore or what people perceive me to be... but still put on your A Game and your best foot forward...

...in addition before covid I was on a short list of people in the entertainment field who sing and do voice over work... that list has gotten much longer with more people relying on AI technology and more A list celebrities doing voice over and product endorsement... what I still have that many of them don't is a singing voice with a remarkable range... and I'll go ahead and put my two cents in about AI... it sounds fake (because it is) there is no real emotion or actual human quality to it... I can recognize it instantly but I have a trained ear.

That being said... there is a lyric in one of the songs from "A Chorus Line"... who am I anyway am I my resume that is a picture of a person I don't know... it always resonated for me for years because people wanted me to be the person in the head shot or whatever else I projected on film... I have been lucky to find the people who wanted me for the person I am behind the picture or the image... so where do I go from here... I've been making lists of what I love doing and what brings me the greatest amount of happiness and fulfillment... I've got some ideas but I'm still stuck on the fact that Mark Roberts retired last year and has left a void that I could easily fill...

Mark Roberts is an English streaker who has run naked during numerous international events. Roberts' streaking began when he saw a news report about a female streaker at a 1993 rugby sevens game in Hong Kong. After a bet in a bar, he exposed himself to the crowd the next day...

So insomuch as it would be something I would enjoy and be good at... from the practical standpoint I don't know how lucrative it would be what with fines and posting bail... I'll just have to think of something else unless I can find a sponsor. Meanwhile I'll be where I've been almost my entire life... waiting in the wings for my big entrance... there are worse places to be.

So back to how to beat the high cost of living... in terms of finances and money issues... you are going to have to do what you have to do... hopefully without breaking the law... there have been a few periods in my life where its been all about creatively living and making due and robbing Peter to pay Paul... just keep in your mind during the difficult time... this is not going to last forever... finances will improve... wars end... grief fades...Eventually in life everything passes and nothing remains except memories... if you can accept this than some of the fear you have been holding onto looses it's grip on you.

Something I learned during covid when the "supply chain" wrecked havoc on what goods were available at any given time... we don't need more, we need less of what does not really matter in the long run... what we need are food, water, shelter, clothing and warmth... and love... it's gotten me through some of the most difficult times I've ever had to face.

When money becomes a central issue it's really important to take note of the things that money can't buy...

1. Manners
2. Morals
3. Respect
4. Character
5. Class
6. Empathy
7. Kindness
8. Patience
9. Trust
10. Common Sense

If you have these things... everything you will ever need will follow... I promise. In terms of spending and spending power one of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given is buy good... and own it for a long time... as far as food buy the best you can afford. At this point in life you have to pay careful attention to every purchase and each and every choice and decision... make notes of everything  of what you spend and what you consider... and have to reconsider... someday you will tell your story of what you were able to overcome and thrive  during difficult times and it could become someone's survival guide for the future.

This is the time it's important to look at life, yourself and your situation realistically and keep your wits about you... the people who come through difficult times don't panic... it's not always easy... but trust me on this one... I know a little something about surviving... You have to start by taking back your power by reclaiming the responsibility for your life. You really have to demand more of yourself because time is ticking away and we have all already wasted too much time worrying about things that don't matter or may never happen... that does not mean bury your head in the sand but face everything when it needs to be dealt with... start by becoming laser focused on the things you can control. Nothing outside of you has power over you...you decide how you think, how you feel and do the things in your life that matter. Take full ownership of your life and you will become free from a lot of negativity and nonsense... You will become amazed at the transformation in your life when you raise the bar on who has access to you and your ideas and energy... maybe most importantly try to pay off your bills and eliminate your debt as much as possible... solvent people are not as easy to manipulate... and if you can... if you know someone who needs help... don't wait for them to ask. We were just discussing last night at dinner... we don't need anything right now besides food and shelter... but there are people who have more hungry mouths to feed than two and have less desirable living conditions... and need medication (that is facing massive tariffs too) and constant medical care... so while things are going to become increasingly difficult in the near future... they are going to be much more difficult and harder to manage for countless others... think about that and be grateful every coming day for the problems that you don't have to deal with.

I noticed in the last few months there are a lot of dead people walking around with no empathy, emotional intelligence or good intentions... just sabotaging and manipulating others.... steer clear and don't engage; these are the people I was talking about when I said there are certain people around who are here for nothing else other than to remind us who not to become.  The days are flying by and the sand eventually runs through the hourglass of life...There is more to life than working, paying bills and being stressed out by every single thing...take walks, get fresh air... enjoy music and laughter again... joy and happiness does not have to be expensive.

Meanwhile... Your anger is telling you where you feel powerless...Your anxiety is telling you that something in your life is out of balance...Your fear is telling you what you care about the most... Your apathy is telling you where you are overextended and burned out... All these feelings are not random they are messages from your subconscious telling you what you need to work out and take control of... all this being said... don't fear death because it will stop life while you are still living... and you have to take risks or there are going to be no new chapters to your life in the future... one of the things I've been considering since my last installment about possibly moving to Australia is I was afraid I was too old to start over again... but upon reflection...I'm only too old to keep doing what is not working for my life anymore.... In the end we are only going to regret the chances we did not take...or the relationships we were too scared to embrace... and the dreams we didn't chase... and the words we left unsaid... and ultimately the decisions we waited too long to make.

Reading the news or listening to it on television there is a common theme and right now it seems to be that a handful of deeply unhappy people are causing drama and chaos for no reason other than to bolster their own ego and to stockpile more money.

and the rest of it are paying the price for it...I've been paying attention and knew this was coming... that does not make it any easier and there are a few people I would really like to do  the "I told you so dance" (look it up on YouTube Will & Grace--- Debbie Reynolds)... but it won't change anything or make it any easier to deal with right now... so we have to remember that eventually everything will come together leading to something better... so to make this transition less painful, stay hopeful, keep your heart open and trust the process of you finding your way through this web of madness we are living in right now... someone told me along time ago during another dark time that "You can't always have a good day...but you can always face a bad day with a good attitude"... I've always remembered that... Also one of my favorite quotes is by Henry Rollins... "Half of life is fucking up... the other half is dealing with it"

So while it's important to stay home and deal with life's issues right now and not run away to some far off land to escape...even if you are in your own city, town or neighborhood... be a traveler not a tourist...try new things and meet new people and look beyond what is right in front of you.

Thanks for reading... remember you are only as pretty as you treat other people. But at the same time... 

See you next month... stay sane... and happy!