Survival Mode

Do you remember way back when I started writing this and I said I would not be addressing politics and religion and such very often?... this is not one of those weeks...

In the mid 80's a friend of mine and I took a survival class... it covered everything from changing a flat tire to surviving being stranded in the dessert to an avalanche and almost everything in between... oddly the question that I'm asked the most about the experience is... "Did you have to drink your own urine to avoid dehydration?"... the answer is NO... but what it teaches you are new skills and  to rely on your own knowledge, instincts and common sense when faced with an emergency (if you ever have a chance to take one of these seminars I recommend it highly).. At that point in my life I had been a lifeguard, ski instructor and worked as a Flight Attendant and all of these occupations involved emergency training... the common thread in all of them is in an emergency you need to remain calm, think clearly and act concisely....The things I've learned on my way to today have served me well when I needed them... but I'll get back to this...

I used to just love The Beverly Hills Hotel... I loved going to the Polo Lounge for drinks as I talked about briefly last month...but my favorite was going to lunch by the swimming pool... I got the idea form the movie Move Over Darling with Doris Day and James Garner... All in all I think I've been to lunch there a couple dozen times...

One of my more memorable experiences there was once... a friend of mine was having major construction/renovation on his house and checked into one of the bungalows for a month while the work was going on... I've rarely been as impressed with extravagance as this as I've always lived with the plaster dust, no water etc while the work was being done... long story short he invited me over for a slumber party and we ordered room service, drank, played gin and visited all night. the next morning we lounged by the pool and had lunch... I remember it like it was yesterday... but my feelings changed when the hotel was sold a couple years later...In 1987... it was sold to 

The Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah, He also bought the Dorchester Hotel in London and then transferred the ownership to the Brunei Investment Agency in 1991.... why did my feelings change you ask?... Brunei introduced strict Islamic laws that made gay sex punishable by death (I'm not a fan of organized religion for various and sundry reasons... but I really draw the line at torture and death)... they have not seen a penny of my money since they bought the property.... I miss going to the hotel... but I survived... there are a lot of places I can go for drinks, cheese burgers and slumber parties.

I've only been to Chick-Fil-A once in my life (the food was meh)... I don't see what the appeal is but once I found out they supported hate Christian groups opposing LGBTQ rights, specifically gay marriage and equality and the derailment of the Equality Act.. I've never been back.

I'm not writing this to tell anyone what they should eat or how they should spend their money... that is for everyone to decide for themselves... but I judge...so there you have it. The whole reason I'm writing this week is to pass on some information so that you can make your own informed  personal decision.

Here is a list of companies that donated large amounts of money to DT's presidential campaign...

Much of this does not effect me or my purchasing power directly... where it hurt was NY Yankees... so I'm a Mets fan now... I have bought many things from some of these companies in the past but there are other choices... the one you really need to look at closely is Proctor & Gamble... you have no idea how much they manufacture until you start to look at labels on your household items on hand or at the supermarket... again you can find alternatives... I suppose one of the biggest things for me was Amazon... I really got into the habit of buying on line during the pandemic for the ease and convenience of having it delivered and sometimes the difficulty of buying it locally... most of my purchases were books... I love wandering in bookstores... so that's where I will be from now on.

I have to retract something I said previously about Sephora and LVMH their parent company... it was falsely reported that they donated to the campaign... so luckily I can still buy some of the things they sell under that umbrella. In addition to all of this we now have the people who are not supporting DEI...Diversity, Equality and Inclusion are always at the front and center of my thoughts and actions so for the people who choose to walk away from this... I bid you adieu...

28, February is a national Boycott day of retailers not supporting Diversity, Equality and Inclusion... hopefully it will make a difference.

But on a brighter note...

And...

I'll be booking our tickets to Europe this fall on Delta now... Other companies on board are  Kroger, Meijer, Giant Grocery, Ben & Jerry, Ulta, Macy's, Old Navy, Nordstrom, Walgreens and Wegmans... hope the list keeps growing.

Like I said you can spend your money any place you want... but someone told me once you are investing in the type of world you want based on what you buy from the point of view of what that company politics are... I'm sure Amazon has not even felt of blip from me taking my business elsewhere or The Beverly Hills Hotel... but I feel better knowing I'm not supporting their agenda... that being said... I'm keeping my Apple phone and computer unless someone wants to finance new equipment for me... however I did send them a strongly worded letter registered mail... I have not gotten a response... but they did receive it... I doubt they care... but I feel better having written it... If everyone cared and either stopped buying and/or wrote letters... things would maybe change a little.... maybe. Meanwhile, you might want to call your senators and representatives in Congress and tell them you don’t want Elon Musk or DT messing with your Social Security or anything else....That number, again, is 202-224-3121

First of all I can't believe he won the first time... secondly I can't believe he was even allowed to run again... and finally I can't believe he won a second term... I'm still not convinced that the results were not tampered with... and all of this and where we are now is because of greed and hatred... and much of what has happened in the last three weeks is not legal...

The world is watching the United States slide into Fascism... hate defines this administration and the people who are supporting it... he is targeting the people they hate. Everyone is always trying to analyze and define Republicans... it's quite simple, they are stupid, mean and they lie... and they are proud of all three.

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic... but the checks and balances are the only thing holding this shit show back and we might make it out of this mess if we tie everything up in legal red tape until mid-terms and  the 2028 election.

So from the campaign to the elections to where we are today... this is what has kept me from a good nights sleep...

Nothing mattered, in the end. Not the probable dementia, the unfathomable ignorance, the emotional incontinence; not, certainly, the shambling, hate-filled campaign, or the ludicrously unworkable anti-policies.

The candidate out on bail in four jurisdictions, the convicted fraud artist, the adjudicated rapist and serial sexual predator, the habitual bankrupt, the stooge of Vladimir Putin, the man who tried to overturn the last election and all of his creepy retinue of crooks, ideologues and lunatics: Americans took a long look at all this and said, yes please.

There is no sense in understating the depth of the disaster. This is a crisis like no other in our lifetimes. The government of the United States has been delivered into the hands of a gangster, whose sole purpose in running, besides staying out of jail, is to seek revenge on his enemies. The damage Donald Trump and his nihilist cronies can do – to America, but also to its democratic allies, and to the peace and security of the world – is incalculable. We are living in the time of Nero.

The first six months will be a time of maximum peril. NATO must from this moment be considered effectively obsolete, without the American security guarantee that has always been its bedrock. We may see new incursions by Russia into Europe – the poor Ukrainians are probably done for, but now it is the Baltics and the Poles who must worry – before the Europeans have time to organize an alternative. China may also accelerate its Taiwanese ambitions.

At home, Mr. Trump will be moving swiftly to consolidate his power. Some of this will be institutional – the replacement of tens of thousands of career civil servants with Trumpian loyalists. But some of it will be … atmospheric.

At some point someone – a company whose chief executive has displeased him, a media critic who has gotten under his skin – will find themselves the subject of unwanted attention from the Trump administration. It might not be so crude as a police arrest. It might just be a little regulatory matter, a tax audit, something like that. They will seek the protection of the courts, and find it is not there.

The judges are also Trump loyalists, perhaps, or too scared to confront him. Or they might issue a ruling, and find it has no effect – that the administration has called the basic bluff of liberal democracy: the idea that, in the crunch, people in power agree to be bound by the law, and by its instruments the courts, the same as everyone else. Then everyone will take their cue. Executives will line up to court him. Media organizations, the large ones anyway, will find reasons to be cheerful.

Of course, in reality things will start to fall apart fairly quickly. The huge across-the-board tariffs he imposes will tank the world economy. The massive deficits, fuelled by his ill-judged tax policies – he won’t replace the income tax, as he promised, but will fill it with holes – and monetized, at his direction, by the Federal Reserve, will ignite a new round of inflation.

Most of all, the insane project of deporting 12 million undocumented immigrants – finding them, rounding them up and detaining them in hundreds of internment camps around the country, probably for years, before doing so – will consume his administration. But by then it will be too late.

We should not count upon the majority of Americans coming to their senses in any event. They were not able to see Mr. Trump for what he was before: why should that change? Would they not, rather, be further coarsened by the experience of seeing their neighbours dragged off by the police, or the military, further steeled to the necessity of doing “tough things” to “restore order?”

Some won’t, of course. But they will find in time that the democratic levers they might once have pulled to demand change are no longer attached to anything. There are still elections, but the rules have been altered: there are certain obstacles, certain disadvantages if you are not with the party of power. It will seem easier at first to try to change things from within. Then it will be easier not to change things.

All of this will wash over Canada in various ways – some predictable, like the flood of refugees seeking escape from the camps; some less so, like the coarsening of our own politics, the debasement of morals and norms by politicians who have discovered there is no political price to be paid for it. And who will have the backing of their patron in Washington.

All my life I have been an admirer of the United States and its people. But I am frightened of it now, and I am even more frightened of them. --- Andrew Coyne

So where are we really...

A lot has changed for me since the first administration, specifically I'm not keeping my mouth shut to keep the peace... I am on speaking terms with fewer and fewer people since I got my voice back...

The bottom line is we don't agree to disagree or have a difference of opinion... we have a difference in basic human decency and morality.

... but unfortunately we have to go into the scary unknown... I've actually thought that an actual upside to death would be not having to see his face of hear his voice or being held hostage by his executive orders ever again... and not having to worry about sunscreen and my hair following shortly after that... but what is going to change this time at least for me... is I'm training myself to not have sleepless nights wondering about what might or might not happen. I'm not putting my head in the sand... but I'm being more scrupulous with news sources and not doom scrolling ... and I'm seeing everyone for who they actually  are...the moral and decent left and the beautifully wrapped boxes of shit on the right. 

With everything that has happened in the last 10 years personally, professionally and in the political arena...I don't have patience for certain people and things anymore...I've reached the point in my life where I don't want to waste my time on who and what I dislike especially disloyalty and betrayal... because the last 10 years have tried my patience to the point where I'm only giving it to people and situations that matter...

But before I close I just want to add... I have been working my ass off since the 70's and am entitled to every cent of my social security and medicare benefits...

and the fact that the dipshit billionaire  from South Africa has the audacity to want to cut or eliminate it is appalling... I'm only brining this up specifically because I knew everyone was lying about it during the campaign since it's been the topic of discussion since George W Busch used it as a cash cow for his war... did everyone else have their head up their ass or were they just to busy to notice... or did they just not care?... OK rant over.

So in terms of my survival training... the situation I'm finding myself in the world right now was not covered... but getting back to remaining calm, thinking clearly and acting concisely... don't roll over and lose hope or the direction or your life... find the things that give you your passion and your life back.. (I'm starting ASL training)... and I'm back in the pool and on the tennis court 4 days a week... these are all mostly distractions... but look further inside yourself to find the things that give you peace and hope... don't waste one second of life at the hands of a dictator and his followers. I'm prioritizing, physical and mental health and my appearance. Do yourself a favor... Set goals, write in a journal... drink plenty of water and eat delicious and healthy food... and get a good nights sleep (here is my trick for falling back to sleep if you wake up in the middle of the night worrying about this clown/convict felon and his enablers... it's February 2025... now think back to February when you were 18 or 21 and think about the events, and people and what you were wearing and what was important to you and the music that you listened to and the books you were reading and where you were living... let your mind go into great detail in your recollections... I usually fall back to sleep in 3-5 minutes if you are still awake skip ahead 10 years...) 

Our name will be forgotten

In time

No one will remember our work

Our life will pass like the traces of a cloud

And be scattered like

Mist that is chased by the

Rays of the sun

For our time is the passing of a shadow

And our lives will run like

Sparks through the stubble.

“I place a delphinium, Blue, upon your grave.” --- Derek Jarman

So above all else the next four years and beyond is going to be devoted to finding me again...the happy me, the smiling me, the laughing me, the gone me... the me that I used to be and miss terribly.

So all of this aside... Have a Happy Valentine's Day... if you don' have someone special be your own Valentine... When I was single people used to always ask me "I can't believe you are still single"... I just said... "I'm picky" I'm so happy I waited for the right one... and you will be too...

Where shall we go next? Last month I was considering something called "California Dreaming" but now I'm still devastated by the fires in California... my old house is ash and rubble... Someone wrote asking for another travel blog... so I'll give it some careful thought...Thank you for reading.

 

Crossing That Bridge

First of all I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and let me thank all of you for reading by wishing you the happiest and healthiest New Year possible.

Before I go any further I have to tell a fun story about being in The Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel in 1976... I was there with my mother and we were having a cocktail before heading out (Day Drinking... one of the first times I heard "It's 5:00 somewhere') and I said "I always thought it would be fun to be paged for a telephone call here"... well my mother went to powder her nose and within seconds I was being paged for a phone call... someone sitting at the nearby table noticed our shenanigans and came over and said "Are you two paging each other for a phone call?"... she was delighted and said "Do me next"... so without further ado I went and paged Natalie Wood... she was such a lovely and charming lady... she joined us for a drink and the 3 of us talked and laughed and smoked cigarettes for the next 40 minutes... it was one of the most fun memories from the past... I have quite a few more so I'll dig them out when it seems appropriate... More about The Beverly Hills Hotel a little later.

I think we have all said at one point or another in our lives... "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it"... I think it's a very useful way of not worrying  about what you don't have to unless it actually happens... I've probably said it hundreds if not thousands of times in my life... But sometimes... you actually have to end up crossing that bridge and dealing with what you had hoped to avoid.

Today is one of those days... Today the election results were certified in Washington DC (thankfully without the fanfare we had to deal with four years ago) Since the election I have been hoping against all hope that the tabulations were wrong, that the president-elect  would be declared ineligible for his part in the insurrection... the list goes on and on to hoping for the obituary I've been waiting to wake up to since... oh about 2012... Today I was going to offer as a public service  a list of companies who contributed heavily to the recent US presidential campaign. I am planning to do this in two parts... Part One who contributed to the Republican candidate and Part Two who contributed to the Democratic candidate... I'll talk briefly about this again later...

Instead I want to wrap up 2024 and begin 2025 on the most positive note possible.... To start I'm amazed every year that the number of holiday cards I received seems to dwindle more and more with each passing year... I suppose most people consider it outdated and find it easier to send texts and email... I still send them because I like receiving them... what I like best is seeing what type of card people send and if they include a quick note or holiday letter letting me know what is going on in their lives... some of these people sadly we only communicate with on holidays and birthdays... What most of them have in common is how much they achieved etc.. I myself jot a quick rundown on the years events... but I want to say here and now if all you did was manage to get through it; that's OK... that is an accomplishment in itself... not everyone did.

Your entire life can change dramatically in a year... You can start by loving yourself more and knowing that you deserve more... and be brave enough to demand more and become disciplined to work for it... As I was thinking about the last entry here... and some of the important people who are not here anymore to read it and share how far I've come since then.. I have realized that the factors in life that have really had the strongest impact for me are love, music, art ... and loss. The first three have kept the fire and passion for everything they offer inside me and yearning for more... and the last one has made me brave... braver and stronger than I would have ever thought possible. I realized that time does not heal everything... it's not supposed to... it's taken me forever to come to terms with that... Time heals a lot of things... but what is left is usually overhauled and refurbished with a nip and a tuck and a new paint job.

As the story continues I've found that some of the bad chapters have still contributed to something outstanding... and wrong paths can eventually lead to the right places... and in my case failed dreams eventually lead to success... sometimes you have to lose yourself and take the leap of faith and cross that bridge to the other side to find yourself and happiness.

From 12 months ago... I'm in a whole new place emotionally, physically, mentally and financially... I'm really focused on staying focused and actively living in the moment and keeping all the positive aspects of life in the spotlight and the working on resolving some of the negative issues... What I really put some thought into was being the things that I most loved and admired about the people who are gone... and not focusing on things like negative people, gossip, drama and bull shit.

For the most part I've always been a nice person... and in many instances I've been taken advantage of because of it... one of the things I've been focusing   my attention on the last few years is seeing and understanding what other people are going through and their road travelled (I wish more people would afford me the same consideration)... be that as it may... I'm not going to change...but if you disrespect me or take advantage... I'm cutting you loose and telling you to fuck off.

You never know exactly where other people are going... or where they have just been; so in a world where everyone has become more crass, unforgiving and rude... I'm not going to become that... and if you go there for whatever reason... just understand there is no longer a place for you at my table... Just think about the people you would never hire, invite to your house, want to watch your children or the people you cross the street to avoid... and there you have it... I've spent way too much time trying to make things work with some of these people. If I've become distant it's because I finally learned my place with you.

I'm really glad that on some level that I'm difficult to understand and deal with... because I really appreciate the people who took the effort  and time to stick around because they really wanted to. I've officially stepped into the era of "Good Energy" or "Goodbye"

The conversations we have with ourselves become the reality of the way we feel about ourselves and the life we end up living... make your inner conversations the most positive and upbeat possible... I ran into someone I have not seen in so many years one afternoon at The Met... last month (that museum is therapy for me on so many levels)

What she said to me over coffee actually changed my mood, outlook... and I'm actually going to say it changed my life and perspective... "it took you a little longer to find happiness and success because you didn't lie, cheat, manipulate or scam people... and you didn't sell your soul."... I was almost speechless and crying because someone actually noticed... I've thought about it many times over the last month and I was reading something that lit the torch for me...

"The Most Common Form Of Despair Is Not Being Who You Are" - Soren Kirkekgaard

Since I started writing this blog... as I said in the first or second entry... we are going to walk down a lot of the corridors of my past and look into some of the doors to see what was there for me once and what is still there for me now... and I found quite a bit... some people and places and ideas I had completely forgotten about... it's important to remember... but it's important to keep the past in the past and not try to relive it or change it in any way... if you could change it you would not be the person you are now because of every twist and turn and every plot twist... But now with so many of my past issues... my side of the story does not matter anymore... Life happened... some of it hurt (a lot) but I healed and where I did not I was changed... for the better eventually.

Sometimes you have to cross many bridges to get to a new place... sometimes you have to burn some of those bridges behind you... If you are afraid remember sometimes the smallest step in the right direction could end up being one of the biggest steps of your life... tip toe if you have to... but take the step.

So in the coming two months I'm going to outline... why I don't shop at Sephora or Ikea anymore... or why I'll never eat Chick-fil-A or go to The Beverly Hills Hotel again in spite of spending a truly remarkable time there once or twice... or buy any number of things from a list of manufacturers and retailers... what you chose to do with this information is on you... I won't judge... I'm just tired of people saying "I had no idea that this or that company was using their profits for things like that"...

So I'm trying with every fiber of my being to try to remain positive, proactive  and upbeat in the next four years... what I won't be doing is watching mainstream media... but I plan to stay informed... I don't want to hear his voice, I don't want to see his face... I will do my best to not let this presidential term upset me as badly as the last one... I'm starting with I will never say his name again... he is not my president.

See you next time if you are so inclined... btw I may not get around to messages or comments as  soon as I usually do for a week or two... I'm having foot surgery tomorrow to fix an injury from last year that did not heal properly.... Perfect metaphor for a new year.

Me ke aloha!