Crossing That Bridge

First of all I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and let me thank all of you for reading by wishing you the happiest and healthiest New Year possible.

Before I go any further I have to tell a fun story about being in The Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel in 1976... I was there with my mother and we were having a cocktail before heading out and I said "I always thought it would be fun to be paged for a telephone call here"... well my mother went to powder her nose and within seconds I was being paged for a phone call... someone sitting at the nearby table noticed our shenanigans and came over and said "Are you two paging each other for a phone call?"... she was delighted and said "Do me next"... so without further ado I went and paged Natalie Wood... she was such a lovely and charming lady... she joined us for a drink and the 3 of us talked and laughed and smoked cigarettes for the next 40 minutes... it was one of the most fun memories from the past... I have quite a few more so I'll dig them out when it seems appropriate... More about The Beverly Hills Hotel a little later.

I think we have all said at one point or another in our lives... "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it"... I think it's a very useful way of not worrying  about what you don't have to unless it actually happens... I've probably said it hundreds if not thousands of times in my life... But sometimes... you actually have to end up crossing that bridge and dealing with what you had hoped to avoid.

Today is one of those days... Today the election results were certified in Washington DC (thankfully without the fanfare we had to deal with four years ago) Since the election I have been hoping against all hope that the tabulations were wrong, that the president-elect  would be declared ineligible for his part in the insurrection... the list goes on and on to hoping for the obituary I've been waiting to wake up to since... oh about 2012... Today I was going to offer as a public service  a list of companies who contributed heavily to the recent US presidential campaign. I am planning to do this in two parts... Part One who contributed to the Republican candidate and Part Two who contributed to the Democratic candidate... I'll talk briefly about this again later...

Instead I want to wrap up 2024 and begin 2025 on the most positive note possible.... To start I'm amazed every year that the number of holiday cards I received seems to dwindle more and more with each passing year... I suppose most people consider it outdated and find it easier to send texts and email... I still send them because I like receiving them... what I like best is seeing what type of card people send and if they include a quick note or holiday letter letting me know what is going on in their lives... some of these people sadly we only communicate with on holidays and birthdays... What most of them have in common is how much they achieved etc.. I myself jot a quick rundown on the years events... but I want to say here and now if all you did was manage to get through it; that's OK... that is an accomplishment in itself... not everyone did.

Your entire life can change dramatically in a year... You can start by loving yourself more and knowing that you deserve more... and be brave enough to demand more and become disciplined to work for it... As I was thinking about the last entry here... and some of the important people who are not here anymore to read it and share how far I've come since then.. I have realized that the factors in life that have really had the strongest impact for me are love, music, art ... and loss. The first three have kept the fire and passion for everything they offer inside me and yearning for more... and the last one has made me brave... braver and stronger than I would have ever thought possible. I realized that time does not heal everything... it's not supposed to... it's taken me forever to come to terms with that... Time heals a lot of things... but what is left is usually overhauled and refurbished with a nip and a tuck and a new paint job.

As the story continues I've found that some of the bad chapters have still contributed to something outstanding... and wrong paths can eventually lead to the right places... and in my case failed dreams eventually lead to success... sometimes you have to loose yourself and take the leap of faith and cross that bridge to the other side to find yourself and happiness.

From 12 months ago... I'm in a whole new place emotionally, physically, mentally and financially... I'm really focused on staying focused and actively living in the moment and keeping all the positive aspects of life in the spotlight and the working on resolving some of the negative issues... What I really put some thought into was being the things that I most loved and admired about the people who are gone... and not focusing on things like negative people, gossip, drama and bull shit.

For the most part I've always been a nice person... and in many instances I've been taken advantage of because of it... one of the things I've been concentrating  my attention to the last few years is seeing and understanding what other people are going through and their road travelled (I wish more people would afford me the same consideration)... be that as it may... I'm not going to change...but if you disrespect me or take advantage... I'm cutting you loose and telling you to fuck off.

You never know exactly where other people are going... or where they have just been so in a world where everyone has become more crass, unforgiving and rude... I'm not going to become that... and if you go there for whatever reason... just understand there is no longer a place for you at my table... Just think about the people you would never hire, invite to your house, want to watch your children or the people you cross the street to avoid... and there you have it... I've spent way too much time trying to make things work with some of these people. If I've become distant it's because I finally learned my place with you.

I'm really glad that on some level that I'm difficult to understand and deal with... because I really appreciate the people who took the effort  and time to stick around because they really wanted to. I've officially stepped into the era of "Good Energy" or "Goodbye"

The conversations we have with ourselves become the reality of the way we feel about ourselves and the life we end up living... make your inner conversations the most positive and upbeat possible... I ran into someone I have not seen in so many years one afternoon at The Met... last month (that museum is therapy for me on so many levels)

What she said to me over coffee actually changed my mood, outlook... and I'm actually going to say it changed my life and perspective... "it took you a little longer to find happiness and success because you didn't lie, cheat, manipulate or scam people... and you didn't sell your soul."... I was almost speechless and crying because someone actually noticed... I've thought about it many times over the last month and I was reading something that lit the torch for me...

"The Most Common Form Of Despair Is Not Being Who You Are" - Soren Kirkekgaard

Since I started writing this blog... as I said in the first or second entry... we are going to walk down a lot of the corridors of my past and look into some of the doors to see what was there for me once and what is still there for me now... and I found quite a bit... some people and places and ideas I had completely forgotten about... it's important to remember... but it's important to keep the past in the past and not try to relive it or change it in anyway... if you could change it you would not be the person you are now with every twist and turn and every plot twist... but now with so many past issues... my side of the story does not matter anymore... Life happened... some of it hurt (a lot) but I healed and where I did not I was changed... for the better eventually.

Sometimes you have to cross many bridges to get to a new place... sometimes you have to burn some of those bridges behind you... If you are afraid remember sometimes the smallest step in the right direction could end up being one of the biggest steps of your life... tip toe if you have to... but take the step.

So in the coming two months I'm going to outline... why I don't shop at Sephora or Ikea anymore... or why I'll never eat Chick-fil-A or go to The Beverly Hills Hotel again in spite of spending a truly remarkable time there once or twice... or buy any number of things from a list of manufacturers and retailers... what you chose to do with this information is on you... I won't judge... I'm just tired of people saying "I had no idea that this or that company was using their profits for things like that"...

So I'm trying with every fiber of my being to try to remain positive, proactive  and upbeat in the next four years... what I won't be doing is watching mainstream media... but I plan to stay informed... I don't want to hear his voice, I don't want to see his face... I will do my best to not let this presidential term upset me as badly as the last one... I'm starting with I will never say his name again... he is not my president.

See you next time if you are so inclined... btw I may not get around to messages or comments as  soon as I usually do for a week or two... I'm having foot surgery tomorrow to fix an injury from last year that did not heal properly.... Perfect metaphor for a new year.

Me ke aloha!