Rona Jaffe wrote a book about life in New York City in the 50's that was smart and polished and follows the lives, loves and careers of people in New York City... it became a movie in 1959 that tried to capture the essence but became a camp classic... still worth a watch because of the cast of Hope Lange, Suzy Parker, Stephen Boyd, Louis Jourdan and Joan Crawford... it's a time capsule masterpiece of how styles, attitudes and how the world has changed in almost 70 years... we can never go back to this... It's preposterous that people want to.
If you are ever on the east side of Central Park near 5th Avenue and 60th Street... you will find the park bench dedicated to the park from the Rona Jaffe Foundation... I like to go by now and then to be thankful for everything I have and also for not getting some of the things I wanted and what they saved me from....
I sat down on the bench recently and took stock of some of the events over the last several years and most everything that allowed me to make my way to where I am now... and here is what I've come up with... I'm at the point in my life where I'm not going to deal with anything that I don't have to...I'm leaving, unfriending, unfollowing and blocking and basically doing whatever it takes to avoid people and situations where I'm not respected or valued. There are a couple of generations of people now that are not being raised and socialized in a way that makes them the least bit desirable as adults. Finding the best of everything for my life are my priorities now.
The things that made this easier for me is I realized it's a privilege for people to have access to me, my ideas and energy... and vice versa... the people who were disrespectful and treated me as a disposable commodity no longer have a place at the table...we all deserve to be in situations and with people that we celebrate and appreciate each other.
After certain things happen and some things are said (or unsaid) you will never feel the same way about certain people no matter who they are and what part they once played in the story. The one thing I learned almost too late is to never be so thirsty that you will drink from any cup offered to you... you have to be wise and selective about your associations. Your whole life can change just by who you choose to surround yourself with... if things feel off balance... listen to the vibration; life is telling you to make some changes... when you find the right place and the right people you start to feel the effects and changes almost immediately.
Sometimes I think one of the reasons life can be difficult is new stages of life and awareness always require us to evolve and change and we can't cling to the past of what life used to be or what we once were... You have to remember... even if we could go back to something or someone or a place... we don't belong there anymore because we are not who we used to be...
but before you go... take the time to un-fuck yourself and be the kind of person you were before all the stuff that happened that dimmed you and your shine and your glow. If you have not been yourself and no one noticed... it's time to shake things up a little... or a lot. Your tribe is out there you just have to find them... that's the reason I moved to New York in the first place... but now it's time to find the next place.
One of the best things I've done for this journey is I've really spent some time digging deep and asking myself why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do...It's not always easy getting to know yourself on a deeper level... but it will help you thrive and makes starting the next chapter a smoother transition... and just like that you realize it's time to let go of the past and start something new and trust the magic of a new chapter of life.
Whether it's my surroundings, or people or food or ideas...I will not accept the bare minimum again with anything... I want the moon and the stars... and maybe even the planet at this point... I won't hide my scars anymore because it's important to show the world that I showed up for life and fought to get this far. I'm at the age that I don't have to hide my age only the wounds on my heart...I'm at the age where I have to believe in the future more than ever before because the dreams we have planted that are still in our hearts are there for a reason.
Life is short... You get 4,000 weeks if you're lucky... stop putting limits on yourself so go out and find the best of everything.
It's not the end... it's not the beginning of the end... it's the end of the beginning.
Please remember to vote... So the world can finally move forward again...
Thanks for reading...See you next month!
