08 November, 2024

Bad Moon Rising


"Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival is a song about the idea that something bad is lurking, often using weather imagery to convey this message... Written by John Fogerty...the song was released on the album "Green River" in 1969. I have this on one my playlists and listen to it as a form of therapy or catharsis if you will whenever I need it.

I first started using this song for therapeutic and cathartic purposes while I was a student whenever I sensed bad vibes, intentions and experiences... I've always had an innate sense when something is off or not right (it's a blessing and a curse sometimes)... but it's taught me to steer clear of people, places and circumstances. I took it to an almost art from speeding out of Palm Springs back to LA at 5:00 in the morning in a convertible sports car with the song blaring as I left a wretched weekend and experience in the dust.... it was almost a Zen experience... but maybe you needed to be there...

I needed to hear it again when the final election results were reported on 6, November.... being in New York the early morning open road was not immediately available... I made due with ear pods and closing my eyes and reliving the moment almost 30 years ago.
Until my dying breath... I will never understand how we got to this point.

I also have another small coping devise that stems from a line delivered by Sylvia Miles as Myra Gardner in the film "Evil Under The Sun"... the first words out of my mouth to my other half on learning the election results were... "Well what the hell do we do now Odell?" ... followed shortly after by "I could just kill that cow"... I have been using these lines for years for various occasions....(I can also do a pretty convincing Myra Gardner impersonation  too)... as well as several others... here is quick clip



I met Silvia Miles at a fashion event about 30 years ago... she was utterly delightful and charming and seemed genuinely  flattered at my mild interpretation of her performance in the movie...
I'm still in a complete state of disbelief  that an almost full day of alcohol consumption, binge eating, tears, anger and spending most of the day in bed under the covers...did little to improve my bleak outlook on the state of man kind in general and the future.... I should have known better... I put way too much faith that educated, caring and evolved people outnumbered the Hoi Polloi... I'm reminded once again that the educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead... My first instincts told me climb over the wall and make a quick exit and escape to land far, far away and somewhere over the rainbow...



But instead... I got out of bed, shaved and showered, washed my hair... and went outside for a long walk to gather my thoughts and get a grip on my emotions... and deal with what could be the end of America and democracy as we know it... and try to make sense of what will be left for most of us from an administration whose foundation is division, hate, fear and greed.




The upside is vacation choices are getting easier....
What I was able to come up with is... nothing is going to change today except my attitude... and many things can still happen in the next two months (I'm hoping for an extraordinary plot twist)... I came home and made a list of everything I was angry about and  confronted my fears and anxiety... I never in my wildest dreams thought that the last years of my life would be living in a christofascist dystopian nightmare...but other people are facing more immediate life changing and diminishing realities... so I decided that I need to dust myself off and put on my A-Game and get back in the fight... the things that helped me prepare for this are
  • Betrayal from friends
  • Being broke
  • Death of a loved one
  • A Broken heart and being broken
All of this gave me strength, resilience  and fortitude that  I needed to man up and face the world and the problems to find solutions.

There is no question that our nation is entering a dangerous and uncertain time. Although today we still have a presidential administration dedicated to democracy, the rule of law, honest government, and the rights of all Americans, after January 20th, 2025 (which, in a particularly cruel twist of fate, falls on Martin Luther King Day), we will enter a new era where no act of governmental malfeasance is off the table.


As of the date of this publication things have already started to go south...
A federal judge on Thursday struck down a Biden administration policy that aimed to ease a path to citizenship for some undocumented immigrants who are married to U.S. citizens... with that... loving, and tax paying families are going to be torn apart, and separated in the not so distant future... and this is only the beginning

We have to keep our wits and soberly face the reality of where we are headed, we must also try not to overwhelm ourselves with catastrophic thinking. There may be a lot of bad things coming our way, as individuals, and a country, but we do ourselves no favors by running ourselves ragged worrying about them in advance... after all, preparing for the future and worrying about it are two different things. We must take the challenges as they come, when and if they come, and not do his work for him by disempowering ourselves through fear and exhaustion.
I'm hopeful that much of the proposed Project 25 will never come to fore... but what does come to fruition will be devastating... here is a partial list...(it's a 900 page document you can find on line)


It goes without saying that the next few years will not be easy. We must allow ourselves to feel all the despair that we feel, as well as all the moments of joy that will also be part of this time. We must continue to care for ourselves, our friends and loved ones and those in our community who most need our help. And, when we can we must empower ourselves to get up and continue the fight for freedom and equality.
I am bolstered by the actions and statements form California Governor Gavin  Newsom and New York Governor Kathy Hochul... I only hope other Democratic Governors step up to the plate...

California’s Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom, a fierce critic of former President Donald Trump, on Thursday called for lawmakers to convene a special session ahead of another Trump presidency to safeguard the state’s progressive policies. Newsom’s office told The Associated Press that the governor and lawmakers are ready to “Trump-proof” California’s state laws. 

The announcements echoed a vow on Wednesday by Gov. Kathy Hochul of New York to “honor” the election results and to try to work with Mr. Trump, but also to fight any efforts to curtail reproductive freedoms, expand gun rights or curb environmental regulations.

At a news conference, Ms. Hochul addressed Mr. Trump directly: “If you try to harm New Yorkers or roll back their rights, I will fight you every step of the way.”

 Meanwhile, attorneys general in blue states across the country announced they were also gearing up for a legal fight.


This sums up my feelings today...

Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do.”

obeying in advance is how fascism wins.

Please try to remember that censorship is the tool used when the lie loses it's power... keeping that in the back of my mind has helped with all the chaos and disinformation and propaganda we have had to deal with.



I intend to fight every step of the way not just for my rights but the rights of others.  To quote Federico Garcia Lorca... " I will always be on the side of those who have nothing and are not even allowed to enjoy the nothing they have in peace."

To start... I think it's very important where we put our energy and be very intentional with doing whatever we need to keep our sanity and health... I fully believe that people are more difficult to control if they are healthy, they are hard to manipulate when your intentions and actions are clear and straight forward and maybe most importantly it's more difficult to influence people when they are sovereign... so in the coming weeks I'm going to build up my strength, mindset and pay my bills.... Also...

  • Exercise
  • Eat nutritious food
  • Get fresh air and sunlight every day
  • Get enough sleep
  • Consume positive material
  • Surround myself with support
You can only win when your mind and spirit are stronger than your emotions.

So while I am replenishing myself... I'm putting distance between me and anything and anyone that drains me and adds chaos and inflicts pain and lies instead of bringing joy, happiness and truth...To put it bluntly I'm unsubscribing from Bull Shit!  I feel deeply let down by mainstream media so I will be taking a step away and in addition I'm going to be more discerning with social media and other outlets on line. Do whatever is necessary to be the strongest, happiest, healthiest and confident person to endure and dare I say it thrive during this difficult time.

I said to someone before the election that the four years of the Trump Administration were some of the most unhappy and difficult years of my life (If you knew my history it's saying a lot)... I don't expect this one to be any different... but the way I react and deal with it will be much more proactive and positive... so that's a start in the right direction at least for me... and something that I had intended to write about this week in much more detail is that some of the best times and happiest moments of our life have not happened yet... we need to look for those moments now and not push them away.

There are a lot of inconsistencies in this election... that I think warrant intense scrutiny and investigation... I sent Charles Schumer an email about a year ago that I was concerned that Ivanka Trump had the patent on voting machines... never got a reply... but I'm following up on it. Not only am I unhappy with the results of the election, I'm  not satisfied with the fact that there are something like 200,000 missing votes and in states like Pennsylvania that all the democrats on the ballot  defending their seats won... and Kamala Harris did not take the state... There were record turn outs for rallies and voting... none of this adds up to me... so this is what I hope is being addressed in addition to all the other issues of protecting our rights and security before January.


I feel like we are at a major turning point right now and it's important to not go off the deep end. When I was about five years old someone told me something I've never forgotten and it's come in handy to remember more often than you might imagine... "We will see what we see when we see it  and we can't make any important decisions about it until then!"...and something that someone told me right after the 2016 election...


So right now I'm doing what I have spent most of my adult life doing... I'm waiting in the wings before I make an entrance... I'm gathering my thoughts and trying to remember my lines and what all my training and the hours of rehearsals have taught me... I'm hearing a lot of talk about people selling their homes and leaving and if it comes to that we might be one of them but I think it's too early in the game to make that call at least for us... however we do have some ideas...It's a drastic step... so we will have to see what we see when we see it!


I was planning to discuss something next month but It seems more appropriate to bring it up now... as the holidays are drawing closer... many people will be  preparing for them without their husbands, wives, lovers, parents,  children, brothers and sisters... and still others are preparing for their last... so please remember that in what is supposed to be a season of joy... for  many it is going to be a season of sorrow and loss... so please remember to be kind, generous, and give love and help where you can... above all else... just don't give people a hard time.


If you want the present and the future to be different from the past... you have to study the past and learn from it... I think that is perhaps why Republicans are so hell bent on banning books and dismantling education... let's all learn the lessons we are supposed to before it's too late...

This morning I took a deep breath and smelled the ocean... and heard sea gulls near where we live... and thought of two things that often cross my mind during difficult times... "Worse things happen at sea"... and hoping for an answer... "eventually the sea will tell."


Thank you for reading... see you next month!