Reflections & Echos

 

For some reason May has always marked the time of the year where we say good bye to winter and spring and start to welcome the start of summer... my favorite time of year.... 1 May is traditionally the celebrations of May Day around the world and in most cultures... in Hawaii we celebrate Lei Day! For me it's always represented a shift... a change and sometimes a new start.

Before I go on this month... I have to say...

I've lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis... the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK...The Vietnam War...and all the turmoil of 1968, Watergate, the Hostage Crisis, Two oil crisis, Reganomics,  9/11, Covid... but the last year and a half have been the most miserable era in America in my lifetime... the hatred, bigotry, lies, the racketeering  and pedophilia are beyond anything I ever expected the United States to accept and normalize... OK I got that off my chest and... I've honestly gotten to the point I have to get my news from more reliable sources other than mainstream media that are exacerbating the problem by spinning the lies.

I brought all this up because I've been looking back and how far we've come and at the hands of a few we are going so far backwards again... but I'll get back to all this later...

I said last month I would explain the marriage of the sun and the moon...it has a deeper meaning... it's when our heart and mind are joined as a result of the opposites in us  and the positive and negative fields are joined ... the union creates peace and harmony... we achieve balance and wholeness and enlightenment... I've always felt it was an ongoing process and not just something that magically happens once in a lifetime... for some reason May has always represented this to me... perhaps because someone on 1 May (a long time ago) explained the theory of the separations of mind, body and self are unnatural and we should seek unity... if you want to explore this there are books written in much more detail.

I wrote previously about favorite songs and lyrics... I have a lot... I've discussed Across The Universe and last month Pieces Of April also in the memory bouquet of music and memories are songs that evoke sadness and pain...one of those being Reflections Of My Life .... a song released in the UK in 1969 and the US in 1970... this song almost like no other brings back some echos and reflections of the past that I thought I had buried under a waterfall of tears... The song and the memories it started to create were at the height of the Vietnam War and all the problems everyone was dealing with at the time on a daily basis... for me in particular... someone I loved went to Vietnam... and we went up to Mulholland Drive on his last night before he left to look at the city lights and talk the life we had and kiss goodbye... and that song came on the radio and I burst into tears... (something you need to know about me is up to that point in my life I had never burst into tears much less wept very often)...It was very difficult to listen to the song again... and on my way to the memorial service for my friend who died in Vietnam... the song came on the radio... and it started all over again...and I never listened to the song again until last week... If we are going to find any enlightenment or peace and happiness... we have to face our fears, and our sorrows and show gratitude for the good and happy aspects of our lives... so long story short (ish) I listened again... and cried again... and eventually the echos of the past and my reflections about the issues shifted finally.

Luckily I've outgrown the person I used to be...and from the experiences that followed after the memorial service in 1972 and everyplace I went I never forgot him but I grew into a person who is more aligned with what really matters and eventually became the person I always dreamed of being... Over the years I learned about patience... it's not the ability to wait... it's the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting... and someone pointed out to me the best way to find the  portal to the future is  "Don't trade your authenticity for approval... it's better to let some people dislike you" 

It was around the same time the same person told me about managing echos and reflections and making them work for us... In all of our everyday activities if we listen very carefully somewhere in the noise and sometimes in the silence we can hear the answer to a question or see insights from reflections of things we might normally pass by quickly... it does not always happen... but sometimes it's as simple as finding something familiar in something we have never seen or thought about before... and seeing a bridge that reflects in the glass instead of a wall in front of us...

Listen to the wind...

Listen to silence...

Listen to your heart... it always know the answer.

If you are ever unsure of what your heart is trying to tell you... if it's a choice between two things... flip a coin... it works because for those brief seconds the coin is in the air...you suddenly know what you are hoping for.

All of this may sound somewhat esoteric or maybe crazy to some people... but it's how I've found my way out of some dark times or when better times and people were looking for me... all this comes from sometimes doing things that scare you or simply saying no to what did not feel right... if you think about the sound you hear when you speak in an empty house... there is an echo... but it's not because the rooms are empty... it's because of your presence... and what speaks to us is from the memories we built there...Also it's really important to take notices of what light does... to everything at different times of the day or year in the course of your life... it's not really crazy... it's another way of looking at reality.

And so with everything that has happened in the world in the last couple of years...it's important to keep in mind happiness and joy are not things that are often freely bestowed on us just because we are cute or nice...we have to actively seek them... as unhappy as I've been recently because of where we are in the world now I've learned that happiness is a decision and a choice we have to make sometimes several times a day it's something that we have to earn... but joy does not have to be expensive...sunsets, music and laughter are all free. All we have to decide every day is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Something that Joan Didion said once... springs to mind whenever I need a kick in the pants

All that being said...It's important to always remember something all the way down to your toes every day for the rest of your life...If something feels off you no longer require hardcore proof to validate what  intuition is trying to tell you...if something feels off about a person, place of thing... then something is off and don't stick around to see what it is.. your time and energy are too valuable.

But on the upside... the one thing all of this has taught me that I was so slow to learn is now I've taken off the rose colored glasses I've been wearing my whole life in order to see the world how I wanted to see it... I think a lot of people do this who have a difficult time comprehending all the atrocities happening now... it's difficult to deal with at first... but there are a lot of people who revel in cruelty and it's important to face it and deal with it rather than ignoring it or wishing it was something else... there are a lot of weird bad vibes and animosity in the world now... understanding and not joining in is an important first step.

So where are we now?  I really don't have the definitive answer... If I did I would write it down and turn it into a book and make a fortune... but I think each and every one of us is at a crossroads now that if we want to succeed and find a positive future... now we have to be strong...and we only have two choices at the moment... sink or swim.

As we grow and evolve we find out the world and the people we were or that we used to know are gone...and we can keep the wonderful memories... but we have to move on.

We are entering a new season in our lives... we've outgrown the old one so what we have now does not fit or feel right and is in fact quite uncomfortable... I can feel the energy shifting... and the heaviness is staring to lift a little... and a little more hope is returning every day drop by drop...deep down I know we are moving in the right direction...The portal to the next level is facing the things we have tired to avoid in ourselves and the world... I only know this because a big part of who I am today is who I am not anymore.

If I can give one thing I hope you will take from all of this... You can't just hope for a happy ending...you have to believe in it... put in the work... and take the risks... The next move is going to matter more than the last mistake.

Since April  I've learned that the pain and sadness from the past  is not a prison ... but a lesson to be learned from leaning into the fear and sadness... and letting it go free...This year May Day for me is going to offer  the symbolism of the marriage of the sun and the moon giving us balance and the eternal promises of May Day...renewal... or a new beginning... I hear echos from the past and see reflections of the future... I can feel it coming... Let's not be afraid of the new story... we might like it better... If we are moving forward we can't have one foot in the past... we need to fully commit to a new future.

See you next month... get out and enjoy the sun and fresh air...

Thanks for reading.