Oh La La... and Fa La La La La

 

First of all "Oh La La" I can't believe how time has slipped away this year like sands through the hour glass... I had the best intentions  of writing in October  with a snappy title called.... "Fourteen Weddings And A Bar Mitzvah" in brief the year after I graduated from college... I knew a lot of people who wanted me to be part of their wedding festivities either as a guest or singer... and one lucky couple celebrating the milestone of their son's life... If you will bear with me I have the outline and notes and I'll write all about it in January... a couple things to consider between now and then... weddings seem to be more associated with an age range or at least a mind set... and they bring out either the very best in people or the absolute worst for some reason.

I will add that through  the years I've been to almost every conceivable type of nuptials from White Tie to bare naked at the beach... one thing that they all have in common is that Champagne and wedding cake continue through  the years to be my favorite food and beverage... So I hope you will come back in January and read all about it...

Last month I had planned to write a bit about all that we have to be thankful for in life and that a lot of people are really angry and mean right now... I can think of a few things that have contributed to this... but seriously in all the years I've been walking around on this planet... I've never seen anything like it... I have a few theories if you come back in February... in a nut shell the last couple years have been a big lesson in humanity and humility for me... and from it I've emerged as someone with a new mindset that I don't have the energy to do certain things or be around certain kinds of people anymore... if something or someone is draining me of peace of mind or happiness... I'm letting go and moving on... but more on that in a couple months.... I was also going to write briefly and give you an introduction to being a living organ donor... I don't want to write about this completely until it's all in the rearview mirror... but looking through my notes I realized I would have to do a little prologue or it's going to be too long as it's already broken down into two parts... part one is written... and part two is pending... 

And finally this month I had planned to write about what is lost and what is found in life... and it's (if I may say so myself) one of the best excerpts I've written here... so plan on stopping by in March... I'll give you a little taste... I've been thinking about people and places and my involvement in some of the shenanigans over the years... and I realized that some of the coolest people I've met have had really colorful pasts, and they took risks and made bad choices and learned hard lessons... and I'm really lucky to be one of those people... and I had also planned my usual December of thanking you for sticking with me here and coming back every month for a read and to wish you a joyous and bright holiday season... I hope you will come back in January and continue this journey... bundle up and keep warm and remember that sometimes in the winds of change we find the right direction.

As the year is drawing to a close... please consider that if you are looking for something new... don't look in the same old places for it... finally something that's taken me a lifetime to learn and fully appreciate is that it takes a lot of courage to be happy and that you have to feel everything so you don't miss anything. See you next month Mele Kalikimaka!

Hope Floats

 

First and foremost... I hope everyone had a great summer in spite of mask wearing, social distancing... and coming to terms with the sometimes harsh realities of the current social, global and political situations that have culminated since covid-19 made its way into all of our lives... but enough about that... so... I did not get my book written this summer... not even close... but I got the outline reworked and it's back on track to what I wanted... sometimes you have to start over to get it right... but back to that later...

Secondly I want to thank everyone who has been reading for the last (gasp) six years... time flies, and thank you readers who joined along the way... I encourage anyone who has not had a chance to go back and read some of the archival pieces to do so... I did this past summer and gained some much needed insight to where I've been and were I'm headed going forward.

If you have been following me for the last six years or so... you undoubtedly know that summer is my favorite season... I started this writing, remembering and looking forward adventure in September for a reason... It's still summer (more or less) but there is something sweet in the September air like no other time of year has a smell that is on one hand completely familiar and on the other something  completely new and fresh that is light and easy and the perfect time for a new beginning...

I'm one of the few people who never minded going back to school at the end of summer vacation because it offered the opportunity to start something new (not to mention new clothes and shoes)... and so here we are again starting a new dance... Someone told me a long, long time ago "Don't be afraid of starting over again... because you are not starting from scratch... you are starting again from experience"... those words have helped get me through some very difficult times and helped to make sometimes seemingly impossible decisions... but that is the beauty of looking back... you can take note of the mistakes and the triumphs and utilize both for your current play book... I want to reiterate what I told a reader who sent me an e-mail last year... "You can't cling to the past... no matter how tightly you want to try to hold on to it... it's already gone!" The best you can do with it is use it to help shape the flow of today into tomorrow... but I do want to add that memories of people and events can be one of the most magical elements of our life so long as you keep it all in perspective and give the past and memories the reverence and respect that they deserve and keep it all in the past and don't try to relive or rewrite it.

So that brings us to today and "Hope Floats" it's a title of a movie from  1998 about a woman who has to start over... the actors are Sandra Bullock, Gena Rowlands and Harry Connick Jr... I have not seen this movie since it came out... and if memory serves I saw it during a flight from NY to LA... but what is seared in my memory is the opening where Bullock's character is humiliated live on national television (on a fictional Ricki Lake-(esque) type show) by her cheating husband and her best friend about their infidelity that they have been having an affair and are deeply in love... blah, blah, blah she has to take her young daughter and move home with her mother (Gena Rowlands) and pick up the pieces of her shattered life by examining her past and coming to terms with where she is now and try to put some of the pieces back together again and/or start from scratch in some areas.... I won't go into the details of the movie in case you want to see it... but I've thought about it as I've been navigating the course to find a new road and finding the courage to start again... in my case thankfully I did not have to do it alone... my partner in crime and I had to face some difficult realities with the world, our life and the people and events that once were the focus... but life like art sometimes get a rewrite for the second act and not always with a reliable road map... 

here are some of the things that helped...

When all of this started I said to myself... "If I die because of all of this did I get everything I ever wanted out of life?"... the answer is no... but I got the things that made me happiest and I came to the sudden realization that this was not going to kill me and I still had a lot of happy times and people ahead of me... and now was the time to trust the magic of endings and new beginnings.

I had to really sit down  and (this is where a notebook and pencil come in really handy) think about and visualize what kind of life I really wanted and learn to say no to or give up things  and sometimes people that were not part of where I was going.

It does not matter who or what I used to be... all that was important was who and what I was becoming... and I had the choice of choosing happiness, optimism and kindness to start the journey of self-discovery.

I made a to-do list and everyday I looked at it and asked myself "is what I'm doing today getting me closer to where I need to be?"... if it was not I made adjustments as necessary. 

Lastly and perhaps most importantly... we discovered who our real friends are...

So that was the start of the journey... I'm still finding my way... but looking back on some of the things in the past helped because I learned that you really only see and understand what you have inside of you from living and experience... we had to do some real soul searching and make some heart rending decisions a few times... and I remembered something in the me from a long time ago that I only recently found an answer to... "You can not criticize  someone else's choices  unless you fully understand their reasons for making them"... that alone helped me get rid of an avalanche of almost lifelong frustration and resentment... the thing that is most important to remember when dealing with resentment is that it's like swallowing poison expecting the other person to die.

All of this is what I found from a movie I saw 23 years ago on United Airlines... that I needed the experiences I've had to remember them and make some sense of most everything for the last few years. Oh and one more thing... someone told me once... "Don't loose hope... you never know what tomorrow will bring you."

See you next month... before the new lineup of television starts I encourage you to take a look at the archives... because there is nothing on television right now... Trust me... I checked!

It can be exhausting living in a world largely inhabited by stupid, insensitive people... take time to yourself to rest and recharge.

The Naked Truth

 

First of all let me just say... I'm sorry I've been very busy and distracted and I did not have a chance to publish a blog last month. I got a couple of messages from readers who asked if I was taking my normal summer sabbatical... well yes I am starting today... but I would never run off for the summer without wishing everyone well and leaving you with something new to consider...

The truth is it is for me... but it's not for everyone because some people were raised to be ashamed of nudity and/or are too judgmental of others. I mentioned in a very early segment that I was once (actually twice) on the consideration list for the  Vanity Fair Best Dressed List... and it was truly and honor and an exciting and memorable part of my life... truth be told I would rather be at  a nude beach looking at the sun, sky and water and dreaming my dreams and planning my plans...  Some of my happiest memories are Champagne picnics at a nude beach with friends!

I've always preferred a no-tan-line body and for the most part have had one most of my adult life with the exception of times that I worked as a lifeguard at a textile beach and swimming pool.

Let's start off with a little terminology lesson...

Naturist  means more or less a nudist or someone who considers nudity normal and natural and someone who lives in harmony with nature who encourages, self-respect, respect for others and the environment. We are people who accept and respect ourselves and our bodies and accept and respect others no matter their shape, size or skin color.

Clothing Optional  describes places and events where people are free to choose whether of not to be completely dressed, partially dressed or completely naked. C.O. is short for clothing optional.

Textile  is the popular term used to describe a place where swim suits are worn... it's  easier to say "textile beach" than "a beach where swim wear is required."

Free Beach is another word for Nude Beach this term does not apply to beaches where clothing is optional. A free beach is any public beach that is well established  and accepted by patrons and authorities. If you happen to find yourself in Germany FFK  is the abbreviation for freikorperkultur that means "free body culture" 

Nudist vs. Naturist vs. Clothes Free  there really is no difference whatsoever  as these terms are used interchangeably. There are nuances to this but Clothes Free is more or less the newer phrase for describing a nudist.

The legality of nudity and nude beaches in general is a very complex issue... there are places on the planet that are completely clothing optional... The city beaches in Barcelona spring to mind as do the many festivals and parades in San Francisco (San Francisco used to be clothing optional-ish until 2012 prior to that exposed skin was only considered indecent if it was sexual and/or menacing in nature.... now it's only permitted for parades and street fairs that have a temporary permit) The city parks in Seattle currently offer hassle free nudity as long as there is nothing sexual explicit... I could go on and on... but the bottom line is in most places... particularly in beach and coastal areas there is typically a place to work on your tan without worrying about putting on a swimsuit. You just have to know how to find them and thanks to a few books on the subject and some fairly easy internet searches if you are heading off on a holiday chances are you can find a place to go. Just be prepared that many are really off the beaten path! There are also resorts, clubs and social gatherings (the outdoor activities are typically during warm weather months)

I've been to social gatherings in New York City and Fire Island, San Francisco, Oahu, Palm Springs just to name a few... and one of the highlights was being the naked audience at the off-broadway show "Naked Boys Singing" there is a line in the show that addresses the audiences about being clothed... they addressed it at this performance stating that  "This is normally where we say in the show we are all naked and you are all dressed"

I was actually in one of the productions of the show briefly until a permanent cast replacement could be found... I'm pretty easy to spot if you know me!

Not having clothing on is not something I ever had to adjust to... I was used to it from swimming... it has always been more of a challenge for me to put something on than to take it off... 

So through the years I've gone swimming,  surfed  played tennis, bowled, skied (yes it's cold and you try not to fall), bartended, roller skated... 

I drew the line at skydiving... too many things can go wrong without having to worry about being dragged by a parachute across an open field with no clothes on... 

I used to have a friend who owned a restaurant and he had a nude private party for all his friends during the winter holidays (even his waiters were game)... the company was always fun and the food was always good too... another remarkable experience was sailing form St. Thomas to St. Barts with some friends... and the summer I spent with friends in Greece sailing around... but for the most part most of my time has been spent with friends with the sun on my shoulders and my toes digging around in the sand.

When I fist moved to NYC I worked as a studio model for art classes to earn extra money...

I've also posed for a couple of photographers and if you are lucky enough to own it I might be in one of your coffee table books... I was once in a movie and credited as "Naked Boy"

I was also approached by a photographer who submitted work to Playgirl Magazine... and I mulled it over and considered the offer very seriously... the problem was that working in the entertainment industry... and potentially being blacklisted from product endorsements or working with networks with prudish conservative sponsors was the only deterrent for me...  I've never understood the obsession with labeling the naked body obscene... artists have been depicting the human body beautifully for centuries...

There were a handful of magazine in the 70's that started to bring an acceptance to the naked form showcasing people in natural surroundings, doing everyday activities and in addition showcasing performance art...

I think because nudity has become more common place in  theatre, film, advertisements and even in television to some extent... the naked body had earned some amount of respect and acceptance among many people... there are still others who have issues and I have for years said it's your problem not mine because I've stayed in the beaches and places where my nudity is accepted and revered... and if you don't want to be there that's your right and your privilege and I'll respect your feelings on the matter as they pertain to you... but don't try to mandate what you want to what everyone should be doing... whether it's religion, politics  or people not wanting to wear a stitch of clothing if they don't feel like it. It's always boggled my mind that we don't have serious legislation and regulations for guns...but we do for the unclothed body!

I would be remiss if I did not add my own little gem of wisdom from experience... If you are not wearing anything and you drop something and bend over to pick it up.... pretend you are wearing a dress!

So with that... I wish you  a happy summer whatever you are doing... The reason I've been so busy... is I've been working on the outline for a book (that I think might be better served as a screenplay) but I want to play around with a few more ideas before I make a decision one way or another. I've also been making notes for a play and I'm putting together notes on some of my experiences  over the last year or so that will eventually be here in blog form.... One of the the common threads of all of them are when I look back at things I see some pains, and mistakes and heartaches... but when I look in the mirror... I see strength from learned lessons... one of them being... don't chase after balloons that were never meant for your sky... let them go...

Oh and one more little did-bit... if you don't know who is knocking at the door... it's a good idea to have something handy to throw on... See you in September!

Ready... Set... Go!

I have always loved traveling... everything about it appeals to me from the anticipation of planning the trip... to the packing and everything involved with getting there (I used to like flying a lot more... but maybe that's another subject for another day) I love traveling with others and  I have even had some some extraordinary trips by myself.... truth be told I would rather share the experience but sometimes meeting new people and experiencing  a destination and what it has to offer with a relative stranger can be just as illuminating and exciting... that being said I was once on a cruise ship alone and the other passengers for the most part compelled me to want to spend most of my time alone... I made Greta Garbo look like a cheerleader on that trip. From the first time I ever heard the word I have been happy to be a "gadabout"...

I've said over the last year that not having the freedom to travel has been one of the more difficult parts of the isolation that covid-19 brought... that being said... I also like being home doing the things that home offers that travel does not... one thing I learned a long time ago and it really has been a focus of my thoughts for the last year is that we really should not blame the circumstances from the outside world and how they effect our life but focus on that we have control of our thoughts and the environment we create in our homes ... but like most things in life a balance of both works best for me.... so someone asked me recently if when this is behind us and life returns to whatever normal is going to be again and we can travel and well gadabout..."Where would you like to go first?" I really had to think about it because there are numerous places I want to rediscover... Israel was on the list but sadly right now that seems out of the question... So I'm going to go with... (drum roll please)... Australia.  I just love Australia and everything about it from the landscapes to the people... their attitudes.... I could go on and on and on.... Whenever this trip is I plan to take it with my other half as he has not travelled as extensively as I have and I'm really looking forward to sharing some things with him looking at some of the vistas and views from his first time perspective...

One of my favorite things about new people in new places (or even sometimes when I'm eating alone in a restaurant)... is the fine art of people watching... you have to learn to not stare (sunglasses help a lot) but you have to have a decent imagination and finely tuned deduction skills to really be good at it... you can learn a great deal about people by how they present themselves to the world... but you have to take into consideration... where they came from... and who they miss the most... and what makes them happy and what they are sorry for... sometimes if you are lucky enough to speak and interact with new people it's possible to find out the real answers... and if you are really lucky you can touch someones life and vice versa... I once learned from a fellow traveller... if something or someone costs you your happiness and/or peace of mind... it's too expensive and probably not worth it... I've carried that with me since and it's made leaving bad jobs and people behind much, much easier... I'll share this other little gem this person shared with me shortly.

Australia is a big country and from most places it's a long flight to get there... so if you have never been I suggest you take  two weeks minimum to  enjoy yourself... so for our purposes now I would start in Sydney and spend some time there before heading to the next destination... my general rule with travel is start and end the trip in a city ( because that is where the international airports are) and spend the middle part someplace a little more off the beaten path. 

There is so much to see and do in Sydney that you could honestly spend two weeks there and not run out of places to go and things to do...One of my favorite places is Balmoral Beach because it's very pretty and one of my favorite restaurants in the world is there... 

The Bathers Pavillion restaurant features exciting cuisine and a fantastic view... and the people are among the nicest I've ever met...

You can have breakfast, lunch and dinner at The Bathers Pavilion and every mouthful has been a delicious and memorable imaginative gastronomic delight that is a blend of Asian and Mediterranean flavor. I have sometimes started and ended my day here... the beach nearby is beautiful... but if you know me I tend more toward the no tan line line experience so a hop, skip and a jump away is either Obelisik Beach or Cobblers Beach... if you are up for a drive Lady Bay Beach is a little bit further south.

I've learned a lot in my travels about myself and others... the most important being... "Be selective in every way about everything and everybody."

From this I've found a good roadmap for myself and what I expect from others...

• Don't respond to negativity
• Don't gossip about other people and their lives
• Be on time
• Give without expectations
• Be deliberately optimistic (not always easy)
• Don't nitpick
• Don't brag
• Don't judge anyone else unless you are perfect
• Show gratitude
• Have good manners
• Don't make excuses
• Discover the transformative beauty in random acts of kindness

So where do we go from here?...

I'm not really sure yet... I do think that things are starting to open up too early and that it's too soon to let down our guard and our face coverings... but what one of my fellow traveling companions once taught me was in terms of most choices we have... "There is no right time... there is just time... and what you choose to do with it."

So it's short and sweet this time around... Enjoy life and be safe!

Oh and one more thing...  I said that there are a lot of places on my list of places I want to revisit... and Italy is one of them... so maybe we will revisit some of the places I love there in my next chapter here...

And My World Keeps Getting Larger Every Day...!

 In 1970 it was just about the time that I started having a world view and began my journey to seriously consider, people, places and ideas outside my backyard and comfort zone... it was the same year that Neil Sadaka and Howard Greenfield wrote a song for Eydie Gorme called "My World Keeps Getting Smaller Every Day"... it became a hit for Miss Gorme and a few other people recorded it including Neil Sedaka and me for an audition demo tape once... my favorite version was done by Carmen Soriano... it's not really right to call it a song because it is a ballad... the difference is that a ballad is a song or poem that narrates a story in stanzas and is usually sentimental and/or romantic.... Some of the most remembered numbers from Broadway musicals are ballads that include "Don't Rain On My Parade" from "Funny Girl" and "And I'm Telling You" from "Dream Girls"... but I'm getting off track... in 1970 when my world was really starting to take off and grow a lot of peoples worlds were starting to get smaller  like Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme's because the entertainment world was changing and evolving and they did not have the same routines they were accustomed to in New York and Los Angeles in various club venues or television shows like 'The Ed Sullivan Show" to perform and tp promote their acts... there was still the "Tonight Show" and the various  variety show venues that filled in this gap for a few more years... but by 1980 many people who were once headlining in Las Vegas or leaders in the box office or record sales were facing a cold reality of becoming extinct and/or obsolete... I was happy to meet Steve & Eydie in the mid 70's and they were still headlining their show and lived with the constraints of changing times and tastes... they did what they had to do and they were gracious and charming...

They never did reinvent themselves like so many other people had to do to survive... but I'm sure they paid the price for it... but it never showed at least not to me during my short stint of living and working in Las Vegas and knowing them... to tell you the truth it really took me a long time to fully understand this song and appreciate what it had to say because as I said I was spreading my wings and happy that my world was expanding and it was becoming a small world not becoming smaller, there is a big difference... I think that is why most people find retirement confining and tedious.  One of the most important discoveries I made around this time  is that it's necessary to take stock of yourself and inventory your accomplishments and goals at least every five years or so to make necessary adjustments and acquire the  tools and skills you will need down the road.

During my brief but fun filled adventures of working as a flight attendant I remember the airline had a logo that went something like... "Our flight attendants know their way around the world better than most people know their way around the block"... it's nothing like it is today... and at the time it was the only job that I could get fresh out of college that gave me the freedom and flexibility to pursue  my interests in the entertainment industry... but looking back I learned a lot about the world, myself and other people and their experiences and viewpoints.

Would I do it all again? Nope... not a chance... especially the way it is now (I thought people were pigs then... I would be in prison for murder the way people act on aircraft now) Maybe it was the world then or maybe the way I saw it but the major difference is that people were able to put race and class issues aside better than they do now... at least during a long flight... that's the reason it's important to be honest with yourself and have the flexibility to reinvent yourself and find new pathways to happiness and success!... I remember someone saying to me in the middle of all this... "The world is a book, and people who don't travel only look at the cover  and speculate what it's all about"... I still feel that way, especially about people who don't travel...

If I were to give any advice to anyone of any age... travel as much as you can for as long as you can, because life is not meant to be lived in one place... don't get me wrong it's wonderful to have that  place to come home to and reflect on your journey and about what you found and learned... but in terms of life being like a book... with time and experience you realize that turning the page and moving on is the best feeling and that the world has so much more to offer than the page you were stuck on.

I think the being more home bound and not even being able to consider making any plans plans for adventure and travel has been one of the more difficult things about the covid-19 way of life in the last year and for a lot of people their world got smaller and they are going to have a more difficult time finding their way out of it ... but from my experiences since this all started  I've realized that I'm not the same person I was a year ago... and that is one of the most important parts of reinventing yourself and moving forward... I've had to consider also that different eyes see different things... by this I mean  that I have known a number of people who see the world through damaged eyes and became who they are a result of their experiences and history... but I don't have allow their view to tarnish and/or diminish mine... one of the major things that I've focused on is paying attention  to myself and those I am going to allow access to my life when we get to open the door to the world again...it was a hard and difficult lesson to learn that  not everyone you thought was, is actually your friend...just because they hang around with you and laugh during the good times does not make a real friend... I've had to learn that people pretend well especially if they need something from a fake friendship... at the end of the day real situations expose fake friendships so pay attention to the fact that nice is not the same as good and charming is not the same as sincere.

So with all of that... the view of the world and my present and future participation and contributions to it keep getting bigger every day...

 

So having said that... from this point on I'm not taking any prisoners anymore and I'm not going to be nice just because of your comfort level... I'll still be nice but I expect the same things in return that I've  given... otherwise you are not going to like the new reinvented and evolved me at all... ( I have a gun and know how to use it... so before I get a lot of hate email... this clip is a metaphor and not a threat that should prompt you to call the FBI)

Oh and one more thing to for you to consider...Why are we taught to be afraid of the witches and not the people who wanted to burn someone alive just because they were different and did not fit in perfectly?

See you next time! Me ke aloha!

Landing Jelly Side Up

Well first of all I'm sorry that it's been over a month since I was able to get my thoughts together to post here... a lot has been going  on and it all needed my full attention... first on the list is that   we moved and coordinating 25 years of belongings and downsizing to a new location is one big nerve jangling job!

No we did not move here but this has always been one of my favorite pieces of property in the world... Maybe someday.... meanwhile I love where we are now with an amazing view and all the modern amenities that most NYC apartments don't have so we feel very lucky now that we are settled in... and as a dear friend said in the midst of the move... "You landed jelly side up!" But I'll get back to this later... if you don't know what this means it's another one of my favorite idioms... that means to be lucky and having things work out in your favor. 

All you have to do is consider that landing jelly side down is much less desirable... particularly if you are hungry! I first heard this phrase somewhere in childhood and several times subsequently, but the time that it really hit home was when I was taking a workshop for stunt work and jumping off of a platform into an airbag when someone said it to me just before  I took the dive "Make sure you land jelly side up!". Understanding your own center of mass and how it relates to the speed and height you are falling or traveling is one of the best lessons I have ever been taught in the time I worked as a stuntman and stunt double... I'll tell you the best a little later. 

Let me tell you how it all started... I know how to ski quite well and once at Universal Studios I was approached about doing ski double work for the star of the film... It was great money and I met some really nice people and a few years later... I met Marcy Carcey and Tom Werner when they were at ABC and they mentioned what an uncanny resemblance  I had to someone who was about to begin filming  an action adventure series... I did not have any real training except I was physically fit and had a broad range of athletic skills and a lot of nerve so I just started out flying by the seat of my pants... so to speak ( I was tethered a lot during filming). I never really had to do anything very dangerous but eventually someone suggested I take some specialized courses and workshops to improve my skills not only  to improve my odds at getting hired but for my own safety in understanding stunts and their hazards to avoid getting hurt... and it paid off because in the years that followed I worked as a stunt double at Universal and Paramount and Warner Brothers... and did some work in films and television commercials.

What you should understand is that all of this is very carefully staged, choreographed and filmed and glass is specially made not to cut you to shreds and you wear special padding and protective gear... but things can still go wrong no matter how much care and planning go into a stunt... I once lost my balance and the rigging  gear failed when  filming at The Beverly Center and fell from an escalator railing almost two stories... luckily I was wearing protective gear... and I landed jelly side up and not on my head. During my tenure in stunt work I drove cars, boats and motorcycles and had bicycle mishaps...did a variety of sports; mostly alpine skiing and gymnastics...rigging (meaning being tethered) and flying though space or getting smashed into things... visual effects using a green screen  are the icing on the cake for a lot of rigging work.

...Equestrian work, I want to say something to all the people who protest the mistreatment of animals in movies... Were you there? Obviously not because animals used in stunt sequences are probably the most protected well loved animals on the planet. Some are trained to fall and roll with a specific physical command and are always given rest and water at regular intervals (especially during extreme heat) the people who own these animals put a lot of time, training and love into their careers... and many animals that play important roles in a script often have stunt doubles themselves! And one more thing about horses it does not take much to spook a horse and get thrown (especially gun shots)... so in addition I've also done a great deal of aquatic work because of my swimming ability and I was and still am a certified diver and addition I've done surfing and high diving... I've done some arial work but frankly most of stunt work involves action sequences... if there is a lot of fast action sequences there can be multiple stunt doubles...

The only thing I have never done are scenes involving explosions, bombs, fire and combat work... it was a personal choice.

As time goes by most stuntmen become stunt coordinators who hire the stuntmen and help coordinate the action to be filmed and perhaps eventually become the 2nd Unit Director who directs the shooting of supplemental footage usually involving stunt work that is edited to compliment the original film footage with the credited cast.

The reason stuntmen are used in film is that the insurance company for the production won't allow an actor to do his/her own stunts because if they are injured or killed the liability on the film project is too great. If you don't really have a trained eye it's really easy to spot the stunt sequences because they are typically filmed as a long shot so you don't recognize the fact that the star is not doing that part of the sequence and it shifts to a close up when you can recognize the star... to give you an example I have hung from a flying helicopter  several times and when they show the film footage with the star the helicopter is probably only three or four feet off the ground with a crash mat underneath... when I have been hanging from a helicopter  it was flying fifty to a hundred feet off the ground and have subsequently

plunged into the ocean and once through a skylight.

 This is not me but John Paul Belmondo who was at the time known for doing many of his own stunts that did not pose a threat of injury or death.

I have been a stunt double for many, many famous actors (and actresses) I'm no going to go into the details but I want to say that Paul Newman will always be one of the finest people I have ever worked with... I also worked with Bruce Willis early in his career on "Moonlighting" and he was really, really nice (especially to me because I made him look good)... but I've heard horror stores about his behavior in the years that followed when his star was on the rise... I guess people change as time goes on or a lot of things in show business changed him. But now I'll share the best advice I had during my time in the entertainment world... Be on time, know your material, do your best work and be an inspiration or find another career... I've carried that with me in everything I've ever done. 

Stunt City

In film work there is a phrase "Back To One" that means go back to the starting location at the beginning of the scene being filmed and run the dialogue and action again until it's perfect... I've sometimes wished we could have this in real life but the best we can do is start where we are now and work on how everything will go from this point on...

So in addition to the move we are at a turning point in life of starting over... or really just picking up the pieces and putting together a new story or chapter in our lives. The last few years have been very difficult and painful in many ways and we have learned some  valuable  lessons about ourselves and others...Perhaps most importantly is that blood is not always thicker than water... but when you have real friends on your side it does not really matter... so as for the rest I made a commitment (I may write a blog about this...but I'm undecided) to my closest friend last year and this year has been a process making that promise a reality and hopefully soon all of us will land jelly side up.  

It's still winter but spring is just around the corner with all the promise of new beginnings... Stay warm and find ways to have fun! 

Continue to be safe... and get vaccinated as soon as you get the chance! Oh and one more thing... I noticed that a lot of people were reading the archives during my hiatus so maybe take a look at this if you have not already done so...

A Little More About Movies

See you next time!

Turning The Corner... And Moving On...

Sometimes it's easier said than done to turn one of life's corners and move on... simply because sometimes we don't want to let go or can't for some reason. I am so ready to let go of the last few years... the last year in particular and start a new chapter. But it's important to take stock of everything and leave behind what or who is unnecessary and obsolete and pack carefully what we might need for the journey and the destination.

I don't think I need to tell anyone that 2020 was a year unlike any other in our lifetimes... In our house we had some difficult lessons and issues to deal with most especially the loss of friends and loved ones who lost their battles with cancer, covid-19 and time.

As a new cycle in life and history is starting we are grateful to have each other and that the love we found in each other 21 years ago has grown and matured with us on the journey... and with some of the loss and sorrow we learned that it is important to go where we are celebrated and not just tolerated if there is no real value in continuing the journey with someone then it's time for a new start with someone and something new... to put more simply is that the only people we really need in our life are the people who need or want us in theirs.

In Buddhist monasteries mindfulness bells are used regularly to remind people to come back to the present in case their minds have wandered into the past or worried into the future. We have used the same mindfulness cuts by using bells in our house that are all around us. With just three conscious breaths we can release the tensions in our body and mind and return to a cool and calm state of presence. That’s all it takes. Three unhurried breaths...This very simple exercise of keeping our thoughts focused on the here and now and not escaping to somewhere in the dark past or writing future dialogues and scenarios.

The other important lessons have been that the world and life as we know it can change quickly... and that true friends have been and will always be our greatest treasure....and that being alone and being lonely are completely different... and that hope really matters when things are difficult... and living by being brave and being a hero to someone or something or even to yourself  are the tools to finding strength... Finally what has been a life journey for me to learn came into focus this past year...is that what lasts, lasts; what doesn't, doesn't... and that time will take care of most of the things and what time can't solve we have to figure out how to do it for ourselves.

Another thing that has taken me a lifetime of lessons over and over again is that we can't make people be more than they are... my life improved dramatically (again) when I started seeing other people for who they are and not what I was hoping they could become... the flip side of the coin to this is I  will never  again underestimate the value of my instincts particularly when it comes to first impressions of people and situations (I've always been right 99.99% of the time) but people have tried to talk me our of them by telling me I'm being judgmental or that I should give people another chance... well I almost always give people a second chance with  almost everything and anything unless it involves downright  cruelty... but I'm holding on to my judgements based on my first impressions because I've been tricked for the last time.

It's been a horrible year  and yes there have been other hideous years that were in some ways more difficult to overcome... a couple of times in the past I have been so overcome with grief and disbelief that I sometimes had difficulty getting out of bed and venturing into the world... but the last year awarded me with a purpose (that I don't want to explain right now... I'm considering writing about it in the future but I'm undecided ). As slowly as the last year has been and I have spent a lifetime wanting time and travel to move more quickly to the next destination... the circumstances of this year afforded me the opportunity to spend more time alone at home with my thoughts to make plans and decisions I might have not made if the world was spinning on it's axis the way it used to... so for us and where the world is right now it's important not to be afraid to start over... because we might like the new story even better than the one we just finished.

If we think of our life and the world in terms of being a book... it's important to read all the pages and resist the urge to stop reading if we don't like where the story is going... and know that we have within us the power to take the story where we want it... but also knowing that difficult roads can often lead to beautiful destinations.

I can't wait for the world to open up again because I love to travel... because it's one of the things that has most contributed (besides reading) to who I am as a person... with both I have had  the opportunity to see life and people around the world and sometimes walk in their shoes and if not at least experience their life and culture... but always to taste their food and consider their views and viewpoints.

I came across something recently that really helped me turn the corner with the the issues and circumstances of  last few years and in particular the last year...

In the last year... the only real shopping I have done has been for food at the local neighborhood supermarket and Trader Joe's... and some various and sundry necessities  delivered from Amazon...I really have not missed buying things and realized we have most everything we want and need... the only thing I really want (world peace and unity aside)... is this parapluie (that's an umbrella for those of you not taking classes on Duolingo) I find it très charmant!

Oh... and I figured out a couple of other things along the way to this past year finally ending... there are a handful of important things that are going to come in really handy after we have taken that leap of faith in turning the corner and moving on that take absolutely no talent and training to master...

• Being on time
• Making an effort
• High energy
• Having a positive attitude
• Being passionate
• Good body language
• Being coachable
• Going the extra mile
• Being prepared
• Having ethics

It's OK to walk down some of those corridors from the past... because sometimes I am the ghost haunting some of the memories I love the most... but it's so important not to set up house there... you belong in the here and now turning the corner on the past and walking bravely toward the future...

Thanks for joining me... see you next time. Stay courageous!