I closed last time asking you to think about the kind of world you want to create to help build the new normal in the world... and maybe it was a bit daunting... but consider just starting with rebuilding your own personal world as a blueprint for your new normal... I'll ask you to consider something... I have always bought the type clothing for the life I have... but also a few things for the life I want to have... Believe it or not I've actually bought shoes just in case Brad Pitt and I ran into each other and he wanted to run away with me to some far off exotic land... I actually did run into Brad Pitt once at valet parking at a restaurant in Los Angeles... and no he did not want for us to run away together; but I was happy I had the shoes never the less... but I'll get back to this...
I don't know when it happens... but for some people they seem to reach a cross road in life and they quite simply... choose the wrong direction and as a result it leads them down a road to becoming an empty shell of a person or even worse someone who is bitter, mean, spiteful and miserable. I've theorized before that if you give up on your hopes and dreams that the important aspects of your life will start to evaporate... and maybe part of it could also be staying in the wrong place, with the wrong people and concentrating on the negative thoughts and memories that are best let go of and forgotten.
I've been there and all of this is easier said than done... but it's important to know yourself and what you want and where you need to go... again it's not always a direct flight sometimes there are many stops between here and where you need to be... but like I've said many, many times... no one can breakup a happy home and no one ever ran away from one.
If you are in-between where you are now and where you need or want to be than start by making a list of who and what is important... and continue to review it and update and revise it when necessary... it's not always easy but start someplace... start blazing the trail on the path of least resistance and as you make advances you can explore more difficult choices and ideas...
Still not sure where to start? I recommend that you begin by never looking back with any real regrets because everything you did is what got you to where you are today... yesterdays regrets are clouding your happiness today and don't always have to have a tremendous impact on tomorrow. I'm not saying don't learn from mistakes... just use them as a guide and not a crutch and move on from them... and then pick anything from above and see where it takes you... Love usually comes later in the journey... but you never know.
Getting from here to there is a journey and it starts with a leap of faith in yourself... you have to start the journey when you decide once and for all what you want... and where you need to be and the match to light the fuse it deciding once and for all that you are going to demand the very best for yourself and the life you want... sometimes it's important to start small and work up to the bigger things on your list...
Sometimes it's really important to take inventory of the the things you have now that you are grateful for and use them as a tool to attain some of the things, people, places and ideas you aspire to... Here is a short list of ten things I used to start my list...
- What talents or skills do you have?
- What challenges have you mastered?
- What traditions matter to you?
- What memory or memories are most meaningful to you?
- What is your favorite season?
- Who in your life is most important to you and why?
- What is your favorite song?
- What small thing that you use everyday is most important to you?
- What is your favorite scent or fragrance?
- What is your favorite thing about you?
These simple things will trigger sensory memory images that you can use as building blocks and your list will grow as you build your life resource inventory. I think it's sometimes difficult for some people to be objective about themselves but I think it's important at first that you do this alone and then eventually ask family and friends whose opinion you trust to evaluate your data and with that maybe they will find some avenues of your skill set that you overlooked. Once you have a firm grip on this it's equally important to look at and make a list of the things that you need to work on and improve. This will all lead you to a place where you are simply a better more informed person than you were yesterday... it won't make you better than others just more in touch with yourself.
Something that someone pointed out to me a long time ago is the idiom "You are in hot water!" and what she asked me to consider is that the same hot water that softens a potato will also harden an egg... it's about what you are made of and not the circumstances that you are in that are the most important. The same person also said to me once and it's stayed with me forever... "Stay as you are and you'll go far!" So long as we are not reprehensible low-life assholes... this is good advice for everyone... we don't have to fit into someone else's mold of who they want us to be... it's not always easy dancing to your own tune and marching to your own drum... but it's worth it in the end...
I should also mention to make a note of your favorite books and stories as these will lead you to some marvelous insights eventually... one of my favorite stories is a story about stories...
"Do you have a magic spell to return someone to life?" she said
"No" the witch said "I'm sorry" "Why don't you tell me about them" she added
"Will that bring them back?" she asked
"For us for a little while they will... stories are a different kind of magic."
This week is kind of short and sweet... we all need to plan for the life we want... and stay focused... not everything will always work out and sometimes we need to revise and make new plans and go in new directions... If you want the shoes buy them... think about your forever home even if where you are right now is only temporary.
It's also important to remember that we are not the people we were yesterday or last year... and it's as important to up our game as it is to remain true to ourselves.
Friends are friends... Over forty years ago they were starring in the most famous tv series, they played two cops and drove a car that became symbolic. Today they are in their 70's and one pushes the wheelchair of the other, Paul Michael Glaser and David Soul taught a generation of people about friendship and now how friends and friendships evolve over time...
I have been trying to make the most positive and life affirming choices during this difficult time of the crisis in the world and in being in a lockdown quarantine type of life... things were really brought home last week when our neighbor succumbed to and died or covid-19 only two doors away... it's reminded me of everyone and everything I'm thankful for and not to take life, health and love for granted as it can all be gone in an instant. Perhaps the most difficult thing for me has been that our neighbor died alone and for me that is one of the most devastating circumstances to try to accept... we are not alone when we come into the world... my wish is that everyone could have someone to be there to hold their hand and whisper to them softly when they leave.
So in spite of the fact that we are living solitary lives I am grateful for the telephone calls to check on us and e-mails with photos of tulips... and your house and the texts with links to things you know I would love to look at and learn about... this difficult time has made some friendships stronger and more tangible even at a distance... for some others it's simply been a lesson that not everyone and everything is meant to move forward... something that someone said to me about the time Starsky & Hutch were on prime time television... " If they can live without you... let them." who was also the person who taught me about not sharing every single thought or idea... because some things are best kept written down and some day when you are old and nodding by the fire you can take look at those words again and reinterpret them.
So just keep this in mind while you are writing your future...
Until next time.. when I'll be discussing heroes... Stay safe!
