Wednesday, April 24, 2024

A Bucket List

Do you have a bucket list?... I've never had one... but I recently decided to start one... 

For most of my adult life I've gone where I wanted to go and done what I wanted to do... and never really saw the need to make a list or have any fanfare... I came across something recently on Twitter (I refuse to call it X)


I've done all of these things...they are pretty self explanatory... but I should qualify a couple... I was arrested for peaceful protest... and as far as drug use... I smoked pot with a friend who was undergoing chemo therapy about 30 years ago and got freaked out doing it alone... and as far as skipping school... I wrote previously everybody should take at least two mental health days a year... I have  many, many favorite mental health days too numerous to list... but they started on Catalina Island... and they have continued up to a few days ago at The Metropolitan Museum Of Art... prior to them being more formal and preplanned it was simply.. a spontaneous "Fuck this shit, I'm going to the beach!"






Somewhere I'm the middle of my rather peripatetic wandering  adventures someone said "It's no big deal... everything you are doing has already been done" I realized for the first time in my life that not everyone held me in the same high regard as I viewed them... I simply said... " Yes but not by me!"... with that I've been to Nepal... but had no interest in going during the cold and  climbing a mountain... I think it's important to swim outside your comfort zone to find what's on the distant shore... but use some common sense at the same time.





Speaking of Nepal... the Lukla Airport is one of the most spell binding take off and landings in the world... Visions of "Lost Horizon" flashed through my mind both times I was there... speaking of which... I'm not generally superstitious... but I do think everything comes in threes... so I'm fairly sure I'll find my way back there again.


Since it's necessary to swim outside your normal comfort zone in your travels and adventure...taking the polar plunge in the North Sea is something I'm glad I did but don't know If my spirit or my body could take the punishment again... the recovery time is painstaking... with emphasis on pain...


 Ditto for the 300 Club run in Antartica...


I'm still on the fence about running with the bulls again in Pamplona... I've done it twice.. so there you are... maybe once as a spectator...


Most everything else has seemed easy and relaxing by comparison...

A cruise down the Nile and sight seeing along the way ( some of my adventures have been influenced by movies and books...






 however I would love to take the trip but... I've only seen someone off once who were traveling on The Orient Express...


But I did travel on The Ghan in Australia and had an unforgettable time... 



My journey with my friend George on Route 66... I wrote about it here...Hitting The Road was one of my favorite adventures... maybe because we discovered things about ourselves and the world... and I'm nostalgic about our friendship since his death...


I'm not going to link or discuss anything else I've already written about except this Using Good Scents

Because it touches briefly on an adventure that included a misadventure... of lost luggage, passports, money and credit cards and sleeping on the beach in Nice and picking up the pieces and having  one of the best times of my life... still one of my favorite places because of the expereience...Your happiness traveling, adventuring or going around the block depends largely on your state of mind... I've learned that life can be a mirror or a reflection of your everyday thoughts and actions. Sometimes an adventure or new experience can be right around the corner... when I first moved to NYC I worked as a model for art classes... the extra money came in very handy... but more importantly... I met people and made friends in a new place...




Some of the simple luxuries I've found on these adventures are...
  • A wonderful nights sleep with fragrant air listening to the waves...
  • Slow mornings...
  • Freedom to choose the course of the day...
  • Time to play...
  • Long walks
  • Great conversations...
  • Reading a good book...
  • ... and taking a nap...
  • Wonderful food...
  • Finding new friendships or common ground with a person or a place...
  • Colorful sunrises and sunsets....



One of the biggest things for me is I love sharing these adventures... but I've never been afraid of traveling by myself, going to a concert, movie or having dinner alone in a restaurant....if you want to do something... don't wait... life moves too fast to wait for someone to do everything on your list... I learned late in the game that I could do anything and was everything I ever needed ...it's a magical discovery but even better shared with friends and loved ones.

So what is on my bucket list... I want to find people again who are a little out of my league and are further along than  I am in knowledge and experience... who have bigger, broader visions... I want to be exposed to new facets of thought and perspectives of life so that I can grow and expand to meet the world on a new levels... these are the people who helped me find my way and made each adventure memorable and important... as I've reflected on this... perhaps this is the role I need to accept as part of my quest and helping someone along with their list of dreams and adventures.



I really want to go back to some of the places I've already been to explore with new knowledge and experience... and find new places and people... There are people and experiences  you will encounter  in your journeys that are impossible to forget because they open a portal to a new version of your life and outlook... the thing about a bucket list... if it's a good one... you have to keep adding to it... I'm starting the list with... I'm going to start golfing again this year... and playing bridge (I miss doing both)...who knows where things will go from there...

See you next month... I'm going to outline something that was never on my to-do list... but I've spent the better part of the last four years preparing for.

Thanks for reading.


Saturday, March 16, 2024

Journey Wisely

 



I'm going to keep it fairly short and sweet this month... I've had to face some hard facts recently... when you start to reach a certain age... many of the people who have been part of the ride for several years either die or drift away... I've had several bad nights in the last week because another person who I worked with successfully and happily for several years died in his sleep... I suppose it's a double whammy because we drifted apart when we were no longer collaborating. I think the end of that part of our lives brought the difficulty for both of us in not wanting to  accept one door closing and the uncertainty of another opening... we both moved on... I moved toward happiness... and my friend who was never a happy person to begin with... unfortunately never found it.

I think everybody of a certain age was told by a parent " You will be judged by the company you keep".... I've always kept that close to my heart in my choices... sometimes more successfully than others... but finally I learned to accept my inner voice or intuition if you will... if something feels off about a person or situation... I'm usually right.

What I've come up with from these mostly sleepless nights this past week is...that I'm never again going to regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with... the person and the circumstances amazing... we grew together for a reason... and we grew apart for different reason... and fighting it is probably like trying to stop a tidal wave.... I've said in a previous chapter here... Life changes...we lose people and parts of ourselves because of it...and suddenly with time new friends and experiences come to find us... and we are better and stronger because of what we are left with from the storm that subsided... If you actually know me... you probably know that I talk a lot about writing the happy ending to the chapters of your life story... I've come to realize that it's not always about the happy ending... it's about the story too... and I came to the next realization late in the game... but I'm happy I finally learned the lesson...you have to let everyone and every situation be what they are or what it is... not what you think someone or some situation should be... and you have to make the best of it... sometimes you can make it better... sometimes you can't.

Another thing you may or may not know about me... is I'm generally a happy person... lately it's not that I've been unhappy... but feeling somewhat at odds or adrift... so I found this book... called..."Build The Life You Want" The Art And Science of Getting Happier, written by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey... I'm always somewhat skeptical of any type of self-help book... but this one gives you things to think about every day and different ways to look at people and situations... Much of it is what I've written about here... first and foremost you can't change the past but you can alter your perception of it... by looking at all the details related to it. In addition you learn to look at the things and people and situations in your life that you are authentically grateful for... You would be amazed at what a mood booster it is... I won't go into all of it... but it's something I highly recommend it.

I've gone back and read some of the past posts and a few really stuck out...

  • Remember when you wanted what you have now.
  • Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had.
  • Don't wish away the power and magic of today wanting tomorrow to get here faster.
I could go on and on... I really started looking back at the archives... based on the readership history I get in reports from Blogger of what is being read... before I go on I want to thank everyone who is reading... my readership has been at an all time high this month... Thank you again.

I would like to share an Italian proverb I heard many years ago..."At the end of the chess game... the king and the pawn go back into the same box"... it took me a while to really appreciate it.

With each day as we are enjoying longer sunnier days and warmer weather... I've started dreaming my dreams and planning my summer plans... I can't stress the importance of choosing your airport outfit wisely... it's very important... we are not only judged by the company we keep... but the clothes we wear... the luggage we carry... it goes on and on... if you want to escape it... the only place it never matters is at a clothing optional beach... I think it's what I like best about them...


The sun will rise and set regardless...what we choose to do with the light while it's here is up to us... journey wisely!

I hope you will join me here next month... I'll be talking about Adventure...


Thanks for reading...


Saturday, February 17, 2024

Living Your Best Life

 

First of all... A belated Happy Valentine's Day!



There was a radio show in the 40's (Before my time) ... called "The Life Of Riley" I only know about it because it was adapted into a feature film and television series by the same name... but the catch phrase "Living The Life Of Riley" boils down to living a carefree, comfortable and throughly enjoyable life... through the years I've known several people who I thought were living the life of Riley... only to learn sometimes of the turbulent troubles and problems they had but kept locked up behind closed doors... there actually have been a handful of people who thought I led the life of Riley... all of it is the impression or vibe  we give off... one of the most important things I've learned is... no one has an easy, perfect, trouble fee life; It simply does not exist except in fantasy... and it's important not to become a victim to this particular folly.

Upon reflection as I've been writing here... I am eternally grateful that I've never had some of the problems and issues  in particular that some of the people I've known who I assumed were living charmed easy lives... I've also finally learned that no one is going to come and recuse me and make things better and easier... everything is up to you... and it's all tied up in the decisions we make, the people we associate with and our overall mindset.

Sometimes the plot of our life gets unraveled and we are not really sure who we are and where we need to start to have things make sense. If we are extremely lucky we meet someone who can help us pick up the pieces and move forward... more often than not... we have to figure it out for ourselves and maybe we will meet that person or encounter the situation when the time is right. I'm a real big believer in knowing the right time and place... because as confusing as life can be... sometimes when we find that person, place or thing as the catalyst... it just feels right... and when we don't it feels wrong... don't ever second guess yourself on this one.

The places that help me feel my absolute best and brightest...are generally near the ocean... and the weather is generally quite warm with cooler breezy nights. Suffice to say I like tropical and sub-tropical places best because of the way I feel there. It's not always possible to be there physically... but if you can capture some of your favorite scents (mine is night blooming jasmine) and from that form a mindset  of what some of natures essences are that bring out the best in you... try to incorporate them in to your every day life no matter where you are in the world... much of what you are looking for is in your memory bank... don't be afraid to look for it... here is where it started with me... We all have at least one place in the world where we experience feeling of belonging, happiness and empowerment... I'm really lucky, I have a handful... but you have to be willing sometimes to go out of your comfort zone to find them.



I'm convinced that a positive mindset and happiness go hand in hand... from here you can start making the necessary changes or alterations to living your best life...and you will find your way to where your heart wants to be where you feel happy and healthy and not heavy  and hurt... but realize that there will always be grief and sorrow in life and there is nothing you can do to stop it... it would be like fighting a tidal wave... so you have to learn new ways to swim sometimes to get past it.



Let's talk for a minute about the people in your life...it took far to long for me to completely walk away from the toxic people who were in my life... blood is not thicker than water, it's just messy mostly and if it's leaving and indelible stain and shadow on your happiness and well being you have to decide if the payoff is worth the pain... for me it was not...and that manifested changes with the people I associated with personally and professionally... it's a difficult pill to swallow the first time but it's better to loose others than lose yourself. After a through house cleaning of the wrong people... you are left with quality over quantity... I was thinking recently that I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger... truth be told... I didn't have more friends... I just knew a lot of people.

When you find that one (or maybe two or three) that rock, that best friend... the one who truly gets you, that one that makes your worst days a little better...hold on tight, really tight to those people because they are the ones who come along once... maybe twice and if you are really lucky three times in a lifetime.... Once you recognize that the people in your life are either reflections of a repeated cycle you need to learn from or are the guides toward something new and better you start to recognize people for who they are... and it makes things much, much easier... and you will be less likely to be hurt from the people who do not come into your life with feelings of mutual admiration and respect... One of my biggest issues is disrespectful  behavior and attitudes... and there is a simple test...Of everything in life time is not renewable... in life and love there is almost no form of disrespect higher than wasting someones else's time... being late is a broken promise...it tells people waiting for you that you don't respect them or their time.

Start by setting goals... small goals that are easy... medium size goals that take some time and effort... and a few big goals that you can't possible achieve until you grow into the person who can. I've said before but it bears repeating... make the best decisions possible... making the worst decisions usually has a horrible outcome...



So... I hope that helps... but you need a pen and a piece of paper... write down everything that matters the will help you live your best life... my list has pieces of all the places I've been and the people I have loved, my favorite songs and books and quotes from movies...and whispered conversations in the moonlight... and Champagne.





See you next month!

Saturday, January 13, 2024

New Year Resolutions


Who makes them? I really don't... for several years I've always said... I'll look back on what I did wrong this past year and try to make it right or at least improve it... from that I've always added... I'll do whatever it takes to do the best I can and do  the right thing... and since covid... on 31, December for the last few years I've lifted a glass of Champagne at midnight and said... "This year... I'm going to get older and gain weight and try not to die!"... I've sort of combined all of this into a nifty little package and these are my declarations for a new year... Well this year I'm going to amend all of this to include... I'm going to do whatever necessary for for health, happiness and well being... If you really think about it... this is a lot to achieve in just one year... but sometimes you have to carry goals and plans into another year and sometimes a year after that too. I think too many people make unrealistic unachieved goals and fail early and give up... instead of saying "I'm going to loose weight" say I'm going to loose 10 pounds and 1" off my waist (I've done it before and I can do it again) you just have to make the commitment to eat a healthier diet and get a reasonable amount of exercise every week.... if you don't like going to the gym... try swimming or playing tennis... (little secret I'm planning to sign up for tap dancing class... I already know how to tap dance... but going to a dance studio once a week sound like a fun way to get some cardio during the winter... at least to me)





A diet is more than the food we eat and the exercise regime  we  follow... start looking at it like this...

It's what you watch and read and listen to... it's the people you associate with... it's as important to be mindful of not just the food you are putting into your body but all the things that contribute to your happiness and emotional well being... with that I'm pulling back a bit from the negativity of mainstream and social media.





It took me some time to realize that you can do anything and everything you want... but the good things take work and time... I hope some of the lessons I've learned along the journey can help you too...

All of the lessons we learn from stumbling and falling and getting up and brushing ourself off and starting again give us a new strength and perspective each time...

  • Don't expect any sort of honesty from people who lie to themselves.
  • You will never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
  • Save your explanations to people who are determined to understand you.
  • Give silence to people determined to misunderstand you.
  • Your life is too short to do something you hate 5 days a week for 2 days of freedom.
  • Don't be upset by people you don't respect.
  • Life is not tiring... but wanting a life you want but don't have the courage and confidence to achieve it is tiring.
As you are getting started on a new chapter or making resolutions...Just remember... you can do anything you dream you can... but you can't do everything at the same time...You don't have to have everything detail figured out to get started...You can restart as many times as you need to... above all else... your inner peace is too important to sacrifice along the way.


It takes bravery to break old habits... but have the courage to sit down with yourself to talk about your mistakes...Whenever you need it... have the strength to say I will not let you treat me or speak to me in this manner... If you loose site of things look back to see how far you have already come and how many bridges you have crossed (or burned when necessary)... and all the other heart pounding and sometime scary things you have already done to get to where you are now... and give yourself credit for all the little things you have done... or are going to do...Please remember you will never have everything all figured out... life is always probably going to resemble an abstract impressionistic painting... but at the same time you and life are a work in progress. Don't make the mistake of waiting for the perfect day and time... it's never going to come... but remember everybody on the planet has the same 24 hours to work with... and what you do with that time is up to you.

If like me when I was unsure of where to start... I started at the beginning... and on the first day... I went outside and got some fresh air... and felt so good I decided to spend more time outside... and realized that exercise helped me get a better nights sleep... with a clear head I was able to find the people, places and things that are meaningful to me... and built relationships from that... during this phase of getting started with something and for the rest of your life... listen to your inner voice... it will always lead you where you need to go (sometimes before you might be ready) but listen and don't let anyone including yourself talk you out of it.

Everything started changing for the better in my life when I made the decision that I could not afford to be associated with people or situations that bring out the worst in me...It's exhausting and it takes too long to recover...I chose a positive force and path that allows calmness and happiness over negativity and chaos... seems like an easy choice... but you sometimes have to step away from it to feel the differences. Some simple steps are...

  • Not invited... don't go.
  • Not told... don't ask.
  • Invited at the last minute... decline.
With some people... you were never part of the plan... accept that... makes life so much easier... but pay attention to the people who are part of your plan and vice versa...

Whatever your goals for 2024... write a new story or continue the existing chapter with you as the hero... my motto for the year is "Keep The Vibe Alive"... I'm actually considering getting this tattoo...


I don't want to sound trite... but with the sum of loss and grief in the last few years... more than anything else I've learned that time is precious and tomorrow is not a given or a promise... so get the tattoo, eat the cake, go on the trip... take a chance while you can... if you want this to be your year don't just sit on the couch waiting for it to happen...go out and make it happen.... Be brave.


 

... where should we go next?




See you next month... me ke aloha!

 

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Oh... And One More Thing Or Two Before The Holidays!

 

Well here we are as the holiday season is kicking off and I'm racing around more than usual because... I started to run behind schedule through no fault of my own and now have to speed walk to keep up with how fast the days are going... leading up to the new year... on top of that I have to report forJury Duty in a few days and that's likely to add a few new ingredients to an already hectic start to the festivities... When the jury thing came in the mail I thought to myself... "This is really bad timing"... but I had to remind myself of something I say to myself quite often... "There is no such thing as the right time... there is only time and how you spend it!"... So again I'll do whatever it takes to make everything work.

I need to back up for a bit to the last segment of "Tying Up Loose Ends" I omitted something on purpose... I don't know why really but I could not find the right words before... I had a wonderful job working with a magnificent colleague and we worked fabulously together and clicked on every level possible.... we even went on a Club Med vacation together once. If you have ever seen the opening scene where they introduce Grace Kelly and her character in the movie "Rear Window"  the script read like this...



What a day I've had. 

- Are you tired? - Not a bit. 

I was all morning in a meeting, 

Then I had to dash to the Waldorf for a quick drink with Madam Dufrene, 

Who's just over from Paris with some spy reports. 

Then l had to go to "21" and have lunch with the Harper's Bazaar people. 

That's when I ordered dinner. 

Then I had two fall showings 20 blocks apart. 

Then I had to have a cocktail with Leland and Slim Hayward. 

We're trying to get his new show. 

Then I had to dash back and change. 

Well that's what my life was like for a few years... it really was the best and most rewarding professional experience outside of the entertainment industry I've ever had... I think the reason it was such a great fit was it incorporated much of the entertainment industry constantly... is the suspense killing you... I produced and choreographed fashion shows for a major fashion magazine.


We really worked our tails off... sometimes to the tune of 12-14 hours a day leading up to these shows and traveling around the country and the world...It was really intense work sometimes... and for me very fulfilling and mostly  it was the satisfaction of working with someone so closely with a bond of mutual trust and respect... Part of what I loved most was having most of November and December and June and July off... we worked like crazy people eight months out of the year and had almost four months off to enjoy life and recharge our batteries... So why did I quit... the truth is I didn't... in a perfect world I would still be doing this... but it was a part of life from a bygone era... these shows were incredibly expensive to produce... the partial list includes... travel, models, music technicians, lights and staging... and on and on and on... and  my colleague and I were earning phenomenal wages & benefits... and as the magazine and fashion industry changed and as retailers and designers did not want to co-op the expense anymore for something that did not always return the investment... From here I went to the wardrobe department of a prime time drama... my entire job was buying the belts, bags, hats, gloves, scarves, stockings, shoes, sunglasses and any other fashion accessory for the woman to wear with their costumes... the exception being jewelry and furs. I was armed with credit cards and shopped the finest stores on Wilshire Blvd. and Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills... I worked with personal shoppers in the stores and bought choices for light tests and fittings with the costumes and returned was not used in the show... another job that was a phenomenal  amount of work and sometimes stress...



I left the show when the person I was working directly under retired a couple of years before the show went off the air...

Between Pan Am and the experiences that followed... I learned that nothing lasts forever and you have to keep reinventing yourself and your dreams and go forward. Looking back at everything I've learned to really appreciate the person I became who persisted when things fell apart and showed up with my A-Game and found a new place, even when things didn't go as planned... I had to find a new version of me and new places and experiences to grow and evolve... all of it... the good, bad, laughter and sometimes tears I've realized is worth celebrating... One of the lessons that really took me time to learn was to stop engaging with people and situations that did not bring positive energy and a return for the investment I was putting forth... It really took a lot out of me but sometimes I just had to stop and say to myself... "You are where you are supposed to be... for now... but don't get too comfortable... Better things are coming!"

Probably one of the most important things I have ever learned taking acting workshops was..."Having the presence of mind and focus to react to any circumstance or situation on stage is what makes a great performer"... I realized that it can apply to everyday life as well... and with the stage as in real life... sometimes you have to unlearn what took time and effort to memorize and relearn for the way it's been rewritten and staged... I don't think most people are very good at this... I'm lucky I guess because I learned early you have to learn to adapt and grow with a character and the story... especially in life.

With all of this and that I've written about this year and the previous years... something I've always meant to impart is the importance (at least to me) of privacy... To me privacy is power, what people don't know about they can't interfere with... but you also have to learn the delicate balance of who you can trust with your plans, love life, family issues, income and your next big move... don't give away secrets easily... someone who I once thought I could trust  proved me wrong... there was a lesson learned there too... always trust your intuition and first impressions... they tell you most everything you need to know about someone.... don't ever let anyone talk you out of them by telling you that you are being too sensitive of judgmental... that's where I made my mistake... but I learned the lesson finally.

So here we are nearly two weeks into December and I have not even started baking some of the goodies I like for the holidays...cards have not been sent (usually done the day after Thanksgiving) the house is dolled up minimally... Shopping thankfully is done... but not wrapping... and I've been mulling over how I want to present myself so as not to get picked as a juror... (so far the two things that have failed are hippy-dippy and ultra-conservative) so I'll just show up as myself and hope for the best... but which self?

This is the time of year as I'm preparing things for the holidays season... I like to ask myself... how did I do this year? What can I improve next year?... one of the things I've come up with this year is... When I was younger not fitting in felt like a flaw... now it feels like freedom... someone so dear to me once said to me on a warm summer night in Spain... "You may not be everyones cup of tea... but you are definitely someone else's double shot of tequila!"

So for what is left of December...I hope the season is good to you. I hope it's full of love, laughter and joy. I hope that everything you've wanted will come to you when you need it, and/or are ready for it... Have a wonderful holiday! We have 2024 to look forward to...Oh and one last thing...don't loose the magic of this moment yearning for another...


The choice is yours!

Tuesday, November 7, 2023

Tying Up Loose Ends

 

First of all I want to start with something I had meant to finish with in the last segment...

Working for Pan Am gave me one of the greatest gifts and has contributed  largely to who I am... I have a sense of the world and the people in it...


In addition it afforded me the luxury of traveling and making new friends I might have never had the chance to meet and having the adventures that have become treasured memories...  One of the greatest lessons I learned on my round the world fling is that your attitude is what can sometimes make the difference between having an ordeal and an adventure... because things don't always go as planned and sometimes there is no Plan B immediately available, so you have to improvise... with the right frame of mind and attitude. When everything ended with Pan Am a lot of people I knew were in limbo between trapezes (some of them still are)... I was not exactly sure what I was going to do either... but I had to jump and let go... it was really scary at times... but I did it alone, I did it broke and I did it sometimes really exhausted and wanting to cry... but I did it and found a new way by starting all over again and writing a new story. I made many mistakes on the way and you can't erase them because otherwise you would loose the wisdom and experience you found because of those mistakes...

So today I'm tying up some of the loose ends from the past to share with you here... because I think I've already shared most of the fun interesting things from my past and starting next month my writing here is going to focus almost exclusively on the present and the future... unless I think of something that is relevant to revisit.

A few people (who know me) have reached out to me via comments or e-mail and asked why I have written about my experiences about this, that and the other thing... and frankly I made a decision not to share every detail of my life because it was either too painful, personal or frankly boring in my opinion... I'm not going to write about people and situations that I hated...

OK so that being said there are are a few things that in my opinion did not have enough substance to them to warrant an entire blog...but... some of the things that I've done that I liked... if not loved doing was... 

I was a life guard...


and not only did it give me a great tan... but I worked with fun people and from that I ended up coaching for the Special Olympics once... and I was a lifeguard at the Los Angeles Olympics  for water events


I've been asked probably a million times why trained athletes would need a paid lifeguard at these events... it's necessary for insurance purposes. Luckily nothing of any consequence happened... and I got paid rather well and had a pass for all the other events when I was not working.

I also worked as a fashion model...





That lead to television commercial work... (this and a daytime drama I was in for a year lead to  being recognized in supermarkets, cabs and my dry cleaner asking for my head shot for his wall of fame)... that lead to stunt double work (that I've discussed previously... and the vocal and music work I still do.


Somewhere in all of this after Pan Am I worked briefly for Calvin Klein...I have nothing nice to say about any of the people or the experiences here... so I'm going to move on to... I had a few other misbegotten career moves... and it was either not a good fit with the profession or people so I think it's all best left unsaid... and that's why I never wrote about some of this previously.

But I did have a rather exciting side gig for several years... I worked as a courier for an auction house and eventually a museum...and transported  valuable art and objects around the world... because many of the things that I carried were valued at over $1,000,000.00 I was required to carry a gun so I was given a permit after training on how to use it. (I'm eternally grateful and lucky that I've never had to use it)... if something was deemed priceless and deemed irreplaceable I had to travel with an armed (undercover) guard and fly on a cargo aircraft... It was better on the upper deck of a 747 because there were windows.. but there is a bathroom and a small galley to keep the food you carried on and decent seats... and usually the cockpit crew came back and visited on long flights.


It was a little nerve racking until you got whatever you were carrying to it's destination... but one of the benefits of this that I remember best was being given an after hours tour of The Louvre and going to the places not open to the public (the basement of The Louvre museum is amazing)

If I had to share my absolute favorite job it would be something that I got paid to do what I loved doing best... When I was on the US Ski Team... I was a member of The Ski Patrol and taught skiing when I was trying to qualify for a spot on the Olympic team... I did not make the cut twice due to a legal issue once (maybe technicality is a better word) and my performance and ranking  the second time... But I've never enjoyed not being a success at something more than I I did  during my brief skiing career.




So I landed on my feet... sometimes I fell down again... you just have to dust your self off and get up and try again... eventually you might hit the jackpot.


So I'm still writing the story of my life with the main character (me) dreaming my dreams and planning my plans and not wasting one minute thinking about what the other story endings could be if I had taken another path. It's important to celebrate not only how far you came but who you have become and who you could have become and fought not to be... One of the things that I've learned going back and thinking about all this and sharing with you is that I learned that the things about myself that I thought were flaws or weaknesses were just me and  who I am... and I like them.

Next time... I'll start a new chapter here with the things and people that are good for you, good to you and good for your soul and who and what I want along for the next part of the journey.


 
I'll start with... Don't allow waiting for anyone or anything to become a habit...Live your dreams and take risks... Life is happening now... Don't look back unless there is something there to help you navigate the road ahead...

See you next time.





Monday, October 9, 2023

Up, Up And Away

 

I hope you enjoyed the recounting of my first round the world adventures in my last four segments here... I thought it only fitting to continue with one more airline blog before moving on. I wrote previously about the aviation industry and gave a brief history  here in Come Fly With Me but I really only scratched the surface and regretted when I wrote it that I did not go into better detail... well here is a chance to right a wrong.

I said in one of the previous entries that the Pan Am round the world experience helped me land a job that I never really wanted.. but like most other things in my life I'm happy that it happened because I was exactly where I was supposed to be even if I didn't think so at the time... let me explain briefly. I grew up in a time that we were lead to believe if we worked hard in school and got good grades and graduated from college that we could have a rewarding professional life and meaningful career... well when I got out of school there were not many lucrative choices with a bachelors degree... sadly the best job I could get with a decent salary and benefits was as a flight attendant... at every turn someone was telling me to go back to school and get a masters degree (that came later)... but for now I landed the trolly dolly job that actually required a four year college degree and proficiency at a second language.



I'll try not to repeat too much of what I outlined in the other entry... Before the internet  airlines would run newspaper ads recruiting stewardesses for interviews in major cites served by the airline. By the time I was job searching... you mailed a letter to the carrier asking for a preliminary employment application that you completed by outlining your education, and employment history with three recommendations and two photographs, one head shot  and a full body shot. Luckily for me I had some inside scoop on the process and what the company was looking for. The photograph was to show that you were attractive (but not too attractive just at or slightly below Hollywood standards) with straight white teeth and a clear complexion... and that your height and weight are in proportion. If memory serves a letter arrived a few weeks later that detailed a date and time for an initial interview; you selected a first and second choice and mailed it back and a confirmation letter arrived in about a week with details about the upcoming interview. My interview took place in the companies offices at the Los Angeles International Airport.

I was told by someone with the airline to cut my hair so it did not go past my collar and cut my sideburns to mid ear or shorter. (I didn't have a mustache... they could not extend past your lips) So with my new clean-cut look and a navy blue suit and sky blue shirt and contrasting neck tie (I actually looked like a flight attendant) as I was told this would garner some points. I had a small coaching session before the interview with a flight attendant with the airline. Men in the position were a relatively new phenomenon and I learned they were specifically looking for men to fill several positions at about six bases... I was told to act cool, calm and friendly and to keep that  in mind at all times during the interview process... in addition good eye contact (but not serial killer eye contact) and excellent posture and deportment while sitting, standing, and walking... they were all noted. As was a well modulated voice (luckily I had years of vocal training at this point)

So the morning after a good nights sleep... Off I went to my scheduled appointment  At Los Angeles International Airport with instructions of where to go and who my meeting was scheduled with. 




The first interview was in a large conference room with about 60 or so other people... there was an hour introduction detailing the airlines history, the job outline and requirements and then we each had to stand and introduce our self briefly and explain why we wanted to work for the airline ( I had been briefed on this part in detail.. and was warned not to come off as arrogant, or overly intelligent)... so I  said I had just graduated college the year before and felt the airline and experiences it offered would round out my education while I figured out my life goals  and whether or not I should enroll in a post-graduate program.

We were then broken down into six groups of 10 people and we interacted with the other people in our group and talked more about ourselves while a representative took notes... this concluded the first interview (or so we were lead to believe) we were told thank you for our interest and we would be hearing form the airline by mail in the next week to 10 days... but about six of us were told very discretely to report back after a lunch break at 1:00 pm to continue and not to tell anyone else that we had been hand selected. So after lunch six of us were left ( I was told by my friend with the airline the morning weeded out anyone overweight or not deemed attractive enough by the company)... the afternoon was  several  different group discussions (I think briefly discussing the Round the World Flight 1 experience got a lot of points because I noticed some frenzied note taking while I talked)... and some tests designed to weed out anyone crazy, lazy or too hight strung... When we finally were released that day we were thanked again and said we would be hearing from the airline one way or another about our continued evaluation for the job.

A week later a letter arrived with instructions on how to list for a non-revenue flight to New York to meet at company headquarters for the final interview



... that consisted of drug and alcohol  testing as well as employment paperwork and the schedule for a four week training program that started in a month. Of the six people that I initially interviewed with only two of us made it this far and unfortunately she failed the drug test and was released a week after the final interview.

A letter arrived for me with another travel voucher and what I needed to bring with me for training and that we would be assigned our home base at training and would not be returning back to where we were now and to make all necessary arrangements... it was really the first time all this started to sink in for me... I was starting a new chapter of a new life with new people... or so I thought.

I gave notice on my apartment in West Los Angeles and shipped most of my worldly possessions Including my car back to Hawaii. Most of my friends were not entirely enthusiastic about my career choice but a few who were  said what a great experience and  wished they were coming with me... and so I packed my bags and headed for training in Miami...


I wore my interview suit for the flight and was delighted that they put me in First Class (it was relatively empty) and the flight crew knew where I was going and gave me some insight and pointers... Eventually finding my way to the Miami Airways Motel in Miami Springs Florida, my new home for the next  month...There were about 200 people at the training facility with new classes starting each week... we were told from the start there was a six month probationary period for full-time employment and that a final test at the end of the course sealed your fate... if you didn't pass... you were out... So all of us took it seriously and had courses and lectures starting early in the morning and finishing about 3:00 in the afternoon. We usually spent the time studying at the swimming pool and socializing.The same pool we learned all the water safety landing  procedures...


The classes consisted of classroom lectures, grooming instructions and simulated hands on learning experience...
I could spend a month writing about what was covered so I'l summarize with...Pre-flight, In-Flight and Pre-Landing and disembarking announcements...In-Flight Service Standards ranging from the proper way to serve and clear meals and beverages and timing, knowledge of wine pairings and proper tables cloth and napkin folds and presentation (I still use the napkin fold when I have a dinner party)




Knowledge of meal and beverage service based on flight length and class guidelines... Service included.
  • Breakfast
  • Brunch
  • Lunch
  • Dinner
  • Nighttime Dinner (abbreviated dinner service)
  • Lighter Side (First Class customs who prefer an alternative to the 7 course service)
  • Second Service (an additional meal offered on long flights)
  • Snacks
  • Tidbits (Clipper and First Class snacks served with beverage service)
  • Chefs Selection (An alternate entree created by local chefs  for First Class)
  • World Class Cuisine (Distinctive menus for World Pass members ordered at least 24 hours prior to departure)
  • Standby Meals (Additional meals added to flights just prior to departure)
On Long Haul Flights in First Class there was a Caviar and Hors D'Oeurve cart, a Salad. Bread and Wine cart, a Roast Beef Carving cart, a Cheese, Fruit and Wine cart, a Dessert, Coffee and Liqueur cart, a Second Service Coffee cart... also in First a Continental Breakfast cart, and Afternoon Snack cart, Afternoon Tea Service cart,
I could go on and on but I'll just add there were procedures to follow for offering hot and cold towels, serving and carving roast beef, soup, pasta... in addition to the cooking times for the varied foods as well guidelines for In-Flight Entertainment and Duty Free Service.




But the main function of the cabin crew is safety so...
We learned Standard Safety Practices that included...
Pre-Flight Safety Briefings and performance of the Safety Demonstration, Cockpit procedures, Smoking Regulations (it was a long time ago), Seating, Jump Seats, Cabin Coverage,Passengers with special needs, Oxygen Bottles, suspected food poisoning, Health Regulations, Airline Marketing Programs including In-Flight Surveys... and Non-Routine Operations that covered Charter Flights, Diversions, City Evacuations, Delays, Cancellations and Misconnects and Inoperative Equipment that covered everything from the entire aircraft to doors, slide, lights, heat and air conditioning and jump seats and passenger seating.






Then there is how to handle passengers ranging from wheelchairs, stretchers, pets, unaccompanied minors, adults with infants, passengers in transit with out a visa, deportees, couriers, military personnel, non-revenue passengers, tour groups, travel agents, inaugural flight guests... Then there are VIP's... that range from frequent flyers, well known personalties, and high ranking government officials... then there are titled passengers... From King & Queen  all the way through religious officials and clergy (I don't think this is an issue anymore... but it was then)

Then you learn how to handle problems ranging from displeased passengers, abusive passengers, illegal activity, passenger intoxication, Voluntary upgrade, involuntary downgrade, cockpit pass holders, meal shortages, spoiled food, damaged or soiled clothing.

Now we move on to First Aid and Medical Issues from suspected infectious disease, report of passenger illness... all the way from childbirth, heart attack and stroke and everything in-between of any life threatening situations of shock, burns , heavy bleeding... up to death.

A great deal of time is spent learning about and dealing with an Emergency...
  • Loss of cabin pressure
  • Turbulence
  • Oxygen masks and oxygen deficiency 
  • Evacuations (on land or water)
  • Life vests and rafts (possible punctured slides)
  • Smoke in cabin
  • Fire
  • Blocked exits
  • Bomb threats and procedures (on the ground and in-flight)
  • Incidence of aircraft accident

There are procedures for the pre and post-flight paperwork, customs, uniform maintenance, per diem, check cashing... but the big thing before computers was bidding for your flights... It was kind of a drama... I'm not going to go into too much detail, but you got a packet once a month at your base to bid for your flight schedule for the next month... it depended where you were based, and your seniority.


The final week of training we got our uniforms and were encouraged to wear them and a set of silver wings...



We learned what our home base would be (someone whispered something in my ear during the final interview and that's why I put everything I owned on the boat to Honolulu) HNL was my base until Pan Am sold the western routes from Hawaii to Asia and the South Pacific and Australia (my flights during my tenure up to this point)  to United Airlines and the base closed. We graduated with about 30 in our class I was one of 9 men.

Everything you learned in training (and more) was documented in the In-Flight Service Handbook... that you had to take on every flight and were responsible for keeping up to date during and time off or leave of absence...





After our 6 month probationary period was over we were given gold wings... I still have them!




After the Honolulu base closed I was based briefly in London at Heathrow...





I learned a long time ago that change offers a chance to sometimes start over with a new place with new people and experiences... all in all for something I was really never interested in doing... I did it quite well and became and In-Flight Purser and saw the world and made some life long memories and friends... I learned to see the world from a new angle... in the air and on the ground...



Pan Am was having severe financial issues and was desperate to try to reorganize their operations and offered many of the senior employees an early-out package for early retirement to try to cut down higher payroll and expenses with new employees...

From the moment we started training we were told we were elite members of one of the best teams in the world..and we were...they were generous with unpaid leaves of absence so I could pursue other things... and when it ended I looked at it as a chance to pursue a new beginning... I started by moving to the Caribbean and staying with friends and teaching scuba diving and bartending... eventually I went back to graduate school  and have been having new beginnings and happy landings ever since. I took so much with me in terms of knowledge, skills and experience that I'm forever grateful for my high flying adventures.



Oh and one more thing... Every time I fly I think about Pan Am... no one now compares... British Air comes close though...

Thanks for reading... see you next time!