Puzzle Pieces

 

Several years ago I used to go skiing with the same group of people and usually some new people would join and it was alway nice to have new blood to ski with but mostly for the after ski activities (I know what you are thinking) but you are wrong (well except once or twice)

I learned a long time ago it's better to rent a condo in lieu of staying in a hotel because it really saves money in the long run... and it's nicer (in my opinion to have a place that feels like home after a long day on the slopes... This is usually what happened after dark... we used to trade off each night who would cook and serve dinner for the group (it usually worked out that each person cooked one night)... and  on the second to the last night of the trip we had a pot luck that consisted of the leftovers from each persons meal and it was usually quite good (maybe interesting is a better word)... and the last night we all went out to a wonderful restaurant,,, but all the other nights after dinner we listened to quiet music and had marvelous conversations while putting together jigsaw puzzles (one person each trip was required to bring the puzzle and host the apres-ski dinner puzzle party)... I was never really a big fan of puzzles until these trips and we worked on some amazing puzzles from Pop corn (quite difficult considering that most all the pieces look alike) to beautiful scenes from around the world.. (these were my favorite)

With all the time we have had to spend indoors in the last year and not out enjoying the world I've given a great deal of thought to those ski trips (some of my favorite vacations as skiing is my favorite sporting athletic-social activity),,, and the people, the meals and the puzzles... We have a few puzzles in the closet and I thought of bringing them out... because I actually like doing them they're great tools for memory and sharpening your attention to details... but we didn't for some reason... we enjoyed each others company and talked about the turning points in our lives (there have been several this year and not easy ones at that)... and looking forward to being part of whatever the new normal is when the world and everyday life starts firing on all cylinders again. I have not been in a store except to buy groceries in almost an entire year...shopping on line has had it's advantages... (like shopping naked while drinking coffee)... the idea of a puzzle party appealed to me so I ordered something like this as a holiday present... (from a photo I sent the company of a past trip we took to a nude beach)

Alas... it is likely to be a late gift or for Valentines,,, because the company is so far backlogged I was notified it would not arrive in time for the holidays this year... with everything that has happened this year I've learned to put minor inconveniences and setbacks in the proper perspective...  a few other things I picked up this year are..

to appreciate the effort someone who tries to stay in touch... it shows they care...

and the flip side of this of knowing who to cut off and walk away from and who to be patient with. Having the strength to walk away from toxic people full of self hate was one of the more difficult pieces of the puzzle to deal with this year...

life changes and we loose pieces of the puzzle and pieces of ourselves that we may never imagined would be gone... but gradually you find new pieces of the puzzle (or they find you)... and upon reflection are more suitable and viable than the others they replaced...

taking chances and looking for those puzzle pieces in new places and with new people are crucial for any sort of success or positive change because you never know what you might learn from having that chance conversation with a stranger (it used to be my favorite thing about flying alone)... you and everyone you meet along the way carries a piece of the puzzle with them... something from Leo Tolstoy has always stayed with me and I say it often and I've written about it here... be careful to see and understand everything and not loose anything between the shadow and the act...

... it's very important to remember that some of the pieces can be found listening to silence... and being more aware of your surroundings and the coincidences that take place regularly that maybe you take for granted or don't notice anymore... sometimes they are in forgotten memories that you might get a brief glimpse of in a dream right before waking up.

Everything and everyone and every place has to grow and change because that's all a part of life and living... but it's often important to remember the person you were before you knew what you know now and all the things that have happened along the way up to and including getting your heart broken for the first time... that person is still somewhere deep inside of you... you can't be that person anymore... but don't completely turn away and forget who you were and what you gained from the journey.

There are a lot of puzzle pieces in the world.. and sometime you have to try a few to get the right fit.. and sometimes the right piece might lead to something that breaks your heart... but it was necessary to give some peace and tranquillity to your life and soul. Someone said to me at a class reunion that I changed a lot... my reply was... a lot changed me.

There was a line in Lillian Hellman's book "Maybe" that has stayed with me since I first read it...

"There are missing pieces everyplace and everywhere and they are not my business unless they touch me. But when they touch me, I do not wish them to be black. My instinct repeat instinct is that yours are black"

These words have served me very well in terms of other people's actions and behavior and how I conduct my life... but since about a year ago I've found a missing piece from this as well...

... all the insults, judgements and shade people have attempted to throw my way are merely projections of their own lives and insecurities and are completely irrelevant to me and my life.

I'll leave you with this to consider...

 

So as is my usual holiday tradition I'm taking some time off (maybe a little more than usual) because in addition to everything else the year has brought and taken away... we are dealing with a few of life's turning points and they have managed to intertwine and it's going to take some time and finesse to deal with them effectively... so whether you have been naughty or nice (a little naughty and nice in combination always makes for a festive time)... I hope you have a splendid holiday season... See you in 2021! 

 Thanks for reading... if you get bored go back and look through the archives.

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Lost And Found

I suppose the best thing I can say about 2020 is that (at least for me) everyone showed their true colors this year... and good or bad it's important to know people for what they are and not try to make them more than they are ever capable of being.

The things and people in life that excite us are not random they are connected to our soul and are part of our purpose in living every day...With each new chapter or different passage of our life certain things and people are lost and hopefully something or someone new and improved takes it's place... but sometimes certain things need to be lost or left behind no matter how much we want to hold on and some things can stay with us forever... but I'll get back to this later...

I have been somewhat reluctant  sometimes to embrace new ideas especially technology... I'm probably the last person I know to have to finally get a Smart Phone... I really did not mind having a dumb phone because I primarily used it to make and receive calls... but now I can't imagine going back... the other  major thing was accepting how the music business changed and my participation in it but  maybe more importantly... buying music from iTunes... now I love the ease to which we can buy and build a music collection... I still have all of my CD's stored in a box and have no intention of getting rid of them... this is mostly due to the fact that I have a lot of thought and time and a small fortune tied up in them... it's the time that is most precious to me... there was a period in my life that I could spend hours in a record store (and a book store ) perusing, considering ... reconsidering and buying music.

This particular record store in Westwood Village near UCLA is where a substantial amount of my time time and money was spent... the other Tower on Sunset was bigger and held events where artists promoting their new albums would come and perform and sign autographs... I sang backup for a couple of people and was included in a few these events and was reluctant to participate initially because of the fiasco factor that I always consider with large crowds and was also certain no one would be interested in having backup singers sign their albums... I was wrong on both counts... it was fun... and people want anyones autograph if they are involved with a show or event for some strange reason. The events and the actual stores have been lost to time...

The Tower Records in Westwood is where I bought the vinyl albums of Janis Ian's "Stars" and Steven Bishop's "Careless"

The songs on these continue to be all-time favorites and the the lyrics to a few (especially Stars) will play in my mind forever...  I have owned them in the original vinyl, cassette, CD (getting these on CD proved to be a monumental task when I wanted them) Both are collectable and  I searched used record stores and thrift stores to no avail and finally looked on Amazon and Janis Ian "Stars" was selling for about $600.00 from a private seller and "Stephen Bishops "Careless" was a Japanese Import going for about $60.00 + shipping from Japan... I've been known to do crazy things in my life but spending $600.00 for a used CD is not one of them... after tossing and turning for about a week I finally bit the bullet and ordered "Careless" because the hours of enjoyment I have had from listening to these songs again was worth every dollar spent... on a side note about a month later I found Janis Ian "Stars" at Housing Works Thrift Store for $3.00... both are downloaded and part of my music library. (I am happy to tell you that if you are interested in either of them that both have been remastered and reissued and are now available at a reasonable price)

I feel the same way about bookstores now as I used to feel about record stores... I can spend hours in them and if it's a rainy day I can spend the whole day... sadly many of some of the ones I loved best are gone but a few still exist and when the world returns to whatever the new normal is going to be I hope to go back and visit Alantis Books in Santorini and Shakespeare And Company in Paris... and a few more around the block and the world.

I saw a quote somewhere recently "I drink coffee and read books and I know things..." mine should include "I listen to music... I drink coffee  and read books and I know things" one of the most difficult things for me about dealing with what covid-19 brought was the isolation... if it had not been for my other half... and books and music I think I would have lost my mind... that and that we could stay in touch with people that we wanted to via social media and by telephone (since it no longer costs an arm and a leg to telephone someone long distance)... but with all of this I've found that being without certain people can be a blessing in disguise in that you find certain peace of not having to deal with them or their issues regularly and it's made editing some people off my friend and acquaintance list much easier. I've had a lot of time to consider and reconsider things that are meant to be and some of the changes that have occurred  in the last year... I have never once thought that anything or anyone should last forever or even a lifetime.. but I have had a chance to reflect that sometimes people and the circumstances surrounding them are part of your life to teach you something before it's time to move on and maybe it's what we have learned and what we have become because of it and we share going forward are what is the forever or the lifelong factor of certain experiences and lessons of our life.

One of the things that very few people know about me is that... I notice everything... even when someones tone or energy changes (even in a text) or subliminal disses in your eyes and body language. I notice all the little things... the things people do and what they say... and what they don't say... I notice when things change and when it's no longer the same and it's time to start a new chapter... this kind of intuition if you want to call it that is a blessing and a curse sometimes; one of the more difficult aspects is I know when it's time to let go but one of the most beneficial lessons is knowing that something we say  or do can stay with someone else for their lifetime and they in turn can pass it along to  the forever... I've learned it's really important the have the right people at your side... the ones who don't always know what exactly to say but they always show up when they need to and always do what needs to be done...

Everything becomes a little easier to deal with when we realize that are lives are part of the seasons... many people equate autumn with the end of youth and the start of winter and old age... but it's really that autumn exists and is part of the cycle to remind us when certain things need to end so that new things can begin.

Some of the things that really hit home during all this time spent alone at home is that on any given day for about 150,000 people around the world today is the last day of their life and handful of them I'm still mourning now and they will stay in my thoughts until the end of my life...and with that it's extremely important not to save anything or any words for a a special occasion... because being alive is the special occasion... as things are becoming uncertain again with the thought of the second wave of the pandemic and what is coming with it I've thought about everything that has been lost and found since my days spent at Tower Records... It's not so much what has happened  but how it's been overcome and what I have become because of it that are important.

Another important thing I've been so overdue in learning is I used to say "We are all in the same boat!" but we are not...  rather we are all in the same storm... some of us are riding it out on a luxury yacht and some people are in row boats and others are holding on for dear life to a sinking life raft... it's very important to consider more than our own experiences when expressing our opinions especially with the way everything is now; we live our lives to taste it in the moment and also in retrospect so it's extremely important to understand not only the important aspects of the moment but all of the context as well.

Between a fire, a flood, a hurricane, a thief and carelessness a lot of things have been lost over the years but I've found more and maybe most importantly I found that sometimes the love of your life comes after the mistakes of your life...and no matter what above all else we have to look forward not backwards...

See you next time... continue being safe  by keeping your distance but with an open mind and heart!

I'll leave you with this... but consider something while you listen... I think one of the reasons I have such an affinity with books and music is that with the passage of time and with new experiences and the losses and victories that come with it we almost always discover some new insight and idea from them...(click below for YouTube link)

Barbara Cook- Stars

Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood

I have always liked almost anything that begins with Once upon a time... So then here we go with... Once Upon A Time In Hollywood... I'm not going to be discussing the Quentin Tarantino movie with Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio as much as I loved it... because he wrote the happy ending everyone wished had really happened in the first place.

When I was growing up I began my lifelong love affair with movies as I discussed here in (Behind The Scenes) I used to watch the late movie on Friday and Saturday night... and when I got older the Late, Late Movie... and what most all of my favorite movies had in common was they were musicals produced by Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM) in the 40's and 50's (truth be told some of them are still my favorites)... as soon as I saw the iconic opening  I knew I had a front row seat on a magic carpet ride of non-stop entertainment to some far off land of mystery and intrigue mixed with musical numbers (most of which I learned the words and all the steps) seasoned with laughter and tears... and with all of it I  usually learned something about myself, other places in the world... and human nature... and there was always the happy ending I counted on that were par and parcel for movies of this era.

I really can't say that about most of my current Friday and Saturday night movie venues now... From about the age of six or seven I wanted more than anything to be a singing and dancing star in MGM musical extravaganzas... I got my wish but not in the way I was expecting... as most things in life go it's rarely the way you expect it to happen.... But I'll get back to all this later... 

If you don't know that much about MGM... in the 40's and into the mid 50's they were at the top of their game producing (in my opinion) the best movies in Hollywood.  The studio and backlot was spread across 185 acres of land in Culver City California.

Lot One was on 44 acres and consisted of 195 permanent buildings housing the production offices, commissary and soundstages... The wardrobe department had over 150,000 costumes from almost every historical era. There were over 40,000 employees and they had their own police and fire department and a school for the child actors under contract to the studio; Elizabeth Taylor and Judy Garland both graduated from MGM High School

Lot Two occupied 37 acres that included the Animation Department and most of the standing sets that included the The New York Street (this one was larger and had more buildings than the other NY location on Lot One) and suburban streets... the most famous was St.Louis Street used in "Meet Me In St. Louis" and New England Street, the swimming pool that came to known as the "Esther Williams Pool" and the horse stables.

Lot Three on 65 acres had the more elaborate sets that included Jungle Island for the Tarzan movies and a 63,000,000 gallon man made lake used for the Cotton Blossom in Showboat. They also had three western towns... one was  Prosperous Street, another was a deserted ghost town called Ghost Town Street... and a frontier known as Billy The Kid Street.

Lot Four, had 5.4 acres  that had the studio zoo which housed the many animals used in a variety of movies but the majority was parking for Lot 3.

Lot Five sat on 7.8 acres and housed all aspects of transportation the studio used  including... wagons, circus carts, planes, trains and automobiles and boats there was also another stable that housed thoroughbred horses (many owned by Lous B Mayer and Fred Astaire)

Lot Six was six acres devoted to growing the flowers, trees and shrubbery used in the interior studios shots and with the existing landscaping on the lot... they even produced their own grass and sod. They even had their own lumber yard and mill

When films and filming changed in the early sixties (most producers shot a movie on an location  rather than on the back lot) MGM's revenues started to plummet... but probably the biggest factor was the publics taste in movies shifted away from the grand movie extravaganzas that were the staple and life blood of MGM's success in the past. I'm sure you can imagine that the overhead of maintaining such a property was staggering and with the drop in box-office sales from the studios productions it became a liability to the studio...

To offset some costs and generate some much needed revenue MGM Television Division was formed... many of your favorite television shows in the sixties and seventies were filmed on the MGM sound stages and utilized some of the backlot when necessary... a few are...

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Flipper 

ChiPS

Fame

With the exceptions of Flipper (the original) and Fame and the 1983 revival of The Twilight Zone which are still owned by MGM all other MGM TV shows produced prior to 1986 are owned and distributed by Warner Brothers Television via Turner Entertainment who also owns the entire MGM movie library prior to 1986.

Louis B. Mayer who was long gone and Debbie Reynolds with the Hollywood Heritage Organization were about the only people who thought the backlots should be preserved for posterity. There was even talk of turning the lot into a theme park and studio tour much like Universal Studio had done. Debbie Reynolds had tried to make the purchase and was unsuccessful.

Kirk Kerkorian the new owner of the studio in 1969 had no interest in making movies and was more interested in  easing the debt and moving forward in Las Vegas with hotels and resorts...   The result was massive lay-offs, cancelled productions that finally culminated in an 18 day auction of almost everything on the lot that was movable including sets as well as 12,000 props and 350,000 costumes, decorative arts and furniture,  trains, cars... The vehicle used in The Time Machine sold for $10,000.00 the ruby slippers that were actually worn by Judy Garland sold for $15,000.00 (I think there were 10 pair that were made by Gilbert Adrian; five pairs have known whereabouts)... the wedding dress that Elizabeth Taylor wore in "Father Of The Bride" as well as many of the swimsuits worn by Esther Williams.. the whole idea was to clear out the sound stages and storage areas and raise some much needed money... 

I have it on good authority  (I knew someone at MGM in the 70's and who once invited me to a party on The Cotton Blossom) that almost everything was sold and what was not was bulldozed including the collection of neon signs and thousands and thousands of pages of sheet music that are now part of a landfill in Ventura and Los Angeles County.

If you have not seen the "That's Entertainment" movies the first one was a surprise hit for MGM and it has fantastic film footage of the studios and back lot; it's a little bittersweet to watch because everything was in such disrepair that it resembled more of a foreclosure than the once pristine pinnacle of perfection studio  in the movie industry.... What is left after all the land was sold is now a suburban community with street names like Garland Drive and Astaire avenue.

and today Sony Entertainment Studios occupies the 44 acres of Lot 1...

I mentioned here (Since We're Neighbors) that I met Debbie Reynolds for the first time during the auction and boy did she have a great plan for everything she bought but unfortunately the museum she envisioned had some severe financial problems and most of the costumes she bought were re-auctioned in 2014. One of my most prized possessions  for many years was one of the sailor hats made for Gene Kelly in "On The Town"... I don't think he ever wore it because it was pristine with no tell-tell signs of make up or perspiration or hair tonic... but his name was inside... So that brings us to the point where I tell you about my dream of singing and dancing in an MGM musical extravaganza...Unfortunately by the time I started auditioning musicals were no longer a staple of venues being filmed... that need was being filled with the television variety shows of the era that really helped me cut my teeth for singing and dancing and performing in general... and it was in the CBS commissary  that I met one of my favorite people (you may have noticed if you read here regularly that I have a lot of favorite people) Nanette Fabray and we talked and confided in each other that we both wanted to be performers at MGM and both just had bad timing (hers was actually better than mine)... Have you ever stopped and considered how your life might be entirely different if you had never met a certain person?... I do it all the time... sometimes it's how I lull myself to sleep.  

The success of the  movie "Grease" made a few people think that maybe, just maybe there was a little wiggle room for movie musicals and from that was what lead to my participation in "Grease 2" and "Can't Stop The Music"...Someone made a rather unkind remark to me once that I was in two of the worst movies ever made in Hollywood... (I beg to differ as there are in my opinion some that are much, much worse)... besides I had my  two of of my life long dreams came true from being in both...

When I got a call from my agent that I was requested by name to audition for a singing and dancing number that was going to be filmed at MGM... my heart actually skipped a beat... and because I have gymnastics and springboard diving skills  my participation in the film increased to two major scenes... 

I had so much fun doing "Can't Stop The Music" I can't even find the right words to convey how I felt at the time...but it was a time in my life when I could not wait to get out of bed and get to work... Theoni Aldridge did the costumes for this number and it was because of this fitting that I tired on one of the finale costumes from "A Chorus Line"...was this the dream I had of being in an MGM musical dancing spectacle?... not really but I realized at the time it was probably as close at it was ever going to get and I needed to appreciate the experience for what it was... rather than what I wished it could be...I've carried this lesson with me since then. I was not very close with anyone on this production but I did gain tremendous respect for Nancy Walker who directed... more people in the world probably know me from the shower and locker room  scene... not my first nude scene... in addition to all my other credits "naked boy" predates this... but this is probably the last time I had a tan line...

Still not sure... can you pick me out in this photo?... This was an exhausting  set of sequences (many of which were cut from the film) that were shot at the Glendale California YMCA but it was all part of the summer when I could not wait to get up in the morning and go to work!

      (Click for YouTube link Y.M.C.A)

On top of everything else... I got to perform the Y.M.C.A. with the Village People.... have you figured out who I am?... here is a hint... I'm upside down in the photo. In addition to this and the dancing sequence I was in the night club scene that was filmed at Studio One in West Hollywood. There was a lot of location work shot in NYC and unfortunately I was not part of any of that.  A fun fact you may not know is that Olivia Newton-John was top pick for the role of Samantha played by Valerie Perrine but she was scheduled to be in Xanadu... lucky for me my participation was small enough in each to allow me to appear in both movies.

OK it did not exactly have the same panache or thrill for me showing up to work as it did going to MGM... this studio has had many names over the many years...It's now Sunset Las Palmas Studios... it was where "I Love Lucy" was filmed before Desilu bought RKO studios. "La La Land" was filmed here as well as "When Harry Met Sally", "The Player", "One From The Heart" and "Xanadu" for the front gate, offices, Danny's house, special effects and sound stage, paint studio, Xanadu interior club scene and Sunny's apartment. I was in the musical  numbers on the sound stage and the club scene  and in the crowds and action at Paradise Park, Santa Monica Pier, Malibu Pier and Venice Beach... I had  great time working on this movie... in spite of being badly injured rollerskating...  I made some nice friendships and a renewed acquaintance with Olivia Newton-John; not destined to be friends for some reason or another but she is now (from what I've hear) and was then a lovely, charming and talented women... what was my other wish?... Well in all those hours watching MGM musicals I always wished that I could someday dance and work with Gene Kelly... I got my wish... I had the impression at the time that he was not as excited working on the project and with me as I was with it and him... but we spoke briefly in the holding area the first day of filming the sequences filmed at the old Fiorucci store in Beverly Hills...

(Click for YouTube Xanadu link)

That night on the way home I stopped and bought some wrapping paper and nice ribbon and the next day made a present of the sailor hat that that I alway kept with me when I travelled to remind me of where I had been at the beginning and where I still wanted to go... I felt that it had served it's purpose for me...  and he seemed genuinely touched with my gesture. Two of my greatest hopes and many other dreams had come to pass since I first acquired it... I hope it brought something back for him and to whoever has it now.

In addition to working with some other remarkably talented people... Electric Light Orchestra for example... this experience was one of the highlights of my entertainment career in front of the camera... the critics  had a field day writing bad reviews for "Can't Stop The Music" and "Xanadu"... the failure of both in my opinion was the decline and interest in disco... but for me it brought me to the place that not only did I consider how my life may have been different if I had not met someone... but also how each experience  with all of them shaped who I am and how I got from then and there to here and now.

I had four other remarkable experiences at MGM in the few years that followed but the first time like almost any first...  will always have a special place in my heart. The same person who told me I was in two of the worst movies ever made also said "It's ashamed you never made it"... I don't talk to this person anymore but one of the last things I ever said was... "I made it... maybe not the way you feel is making it should be considering you are someone who has no experience in the field...  but felt like a star each and every time I drove to the studio and got immersed in the work I dreamed of doing since I was old enough to sing and dance"... See you next time.

Written Out Of The Story

 

There are a lot of ways a character can be taken out of the story in the entertainment industry... it happens most often in film  when a feature character gets edited out (It's what used to be called winding up on the cutting room floor when film was actually cut for editing) usually a character is deemed insignificant to the storyline or someone is trying to cut some time off the final film length. It happens more in a television series, so rather it might be easier to say written out of the story... because the flow of script or book moves forward to the ending and many characters leave, die or in some cases simply disappear into thin air. In the last ten years or so a lot of people have been written out of my story... and me out of theirs but I'll get back to this later

A little about characters....

• Lead characters --- the stars of the show or series
• Supporting Roles --- the characters who contribute to the storyline in smaller roles (think of David Doyle in "Charlies Angles")
• Feature characters --- maybe have a few lines or action in one or two scenes
• Guest Star --- A guest star is usually a focal point of a television series script  and considered a lead role
• Recurring characters --- these characters usually return sporadically and often a focal point to the script (Colleen Dewhurst on "Murphy Brown" is a good example)
• Cameo or Walk On --- Usually a well known celebrity plying themselves for a gag or laugh with the script ( Cher on "Will & Grace" springs to mind)
• Extras or Background Players--- usually day players who fill in the scenes as people on elevators, restaurants and pedestrians etc...(I've been an extra more times than I can remember)

Then there is this...

• Ensemble Cast--- this is the perfect balance of characters and script writing that make a movie, television series or theatrical production work perfectly... (if you have a favorite television show chances are it has or had a great ensemble cast)

Sometimes a character is written specifically for a specific purpose and limited timeline. I was once in a daytime drama for a month as a bad person (rapist) before I was brutally killed at the end of the story arc and written out of the show.

Perhaps the best example I can give here is the writers needed to replace Farrah Fawcett after season one on "Charlies Angles" so they brought in Cheryl Ladd as her characters sister and replacement... 

They did not get rid of the character because the Jill Munroe character returned as a recurring character in season three and four as an agreement to a contract dispute between Farrah Fawcett and the show's producer Aaron Spelling.

But when Kate Jackson left the show at the end of her contract her character never returned or was mentioned and the Sabrina Duncan character was replaced by Shelly Hack as Tiffany Wells... you can kind of see from the expression on Farrah's face that she is ready to move on...

I actually liked the Tiffany Wells character and I think Shelly Hack brought something to the cast but I think her Q-ratings were not good enough for the producers and they did not renew her contract and replaced her character with Tanya Roberts as Julie Rogers in season five... The show really started to suffer and the only thing that really captured my interest was they filmed five episodes in Honolulu... after that most of their audience became somewhat disenchanted  the scripts suffered and it's one of those programs that were cancelled without enough notice to write a finale episode.

It's fun to watch the reruns of all the seasons but I have to confess that I only watch the Hawaii episodes of Season Five... it's usually not as evident as this in a television series... most characters are written for a specific purpose to the story arc or to build a background for another character... and are sometimes killed off or they move away... and sometimes they come back as a surprise to the story "House" is an excellent example of this.

The cast of characters in the story of our lives are sometimes just as complex and occasionally  we have to make heart rending choices to write people out of our story or keep them in... and it's as equally a difficult decision with certain people to bring them back into the story... If you read back on a few of the things I've written previously I've said... sometimes so much time and space has elapsed that it seems like it's too late to bring back a previous character to the story because we missed all the important parts of the stories of each others lives to make a cohesive transition... but that's not always the case... in the same way that there are people who have been in my life story that we have been absent from all the day to day plot lines  and laughter and tears of each others stories... but for some reason these special few people come back easily and beautifully back into the plot... these types of people are always my favorite in other stories and in my life story... All of the others it's important to look at what what they brought to a scene and added to the story and take the lesson and the experience  for what it was intended and appreciate the laughter and tears and know that sometimes it's just as important to write people out of our life story as it is not to try to bring back something or someone that does work to move the story forward. You have to realize that some people are really only supposed to be in a chapter or two or a few scenes and others are part of the complete story. The beauty of our life stories as opposed to books, televisions and films is that there are as many endings as there are new beginnings to move the story along...  I know I already wrote "If you don't like the way the story is going... write something new!" My own story really improved dramatically when I started seeing the other people or characters for who they actually are and what they have shown me rather than how I  wanted them to be.

Sometimes in every story it's really important to have a little lull or pause to lead into the next sequence...The past in stories and in life really is only important so much as it gives a perspective of who we are in the here and now; it's often important to consider these perspectives before moving on to the next chapter. In life I've always called this laying low and being patient to to observe the scene and the other characters and making assessments on  everything and everyone before deciding the next step or direction to take... Some people want to write their stories full of drama and intrigue or just action and adventure... I think they do themselves a disservice by not writing in everything life has to offer to make it balanced and interesting... This was explained to me very eloquently by someone who once said... "every day can't be a party... all the other things that lead up to the party and where you go after the party are what make the party and life interesting."

So with all of this one of the things you do have more control over than you may realize is who you are going to write into your story... if they don't add to the interest, knowledge and enjoyment to your character or the scenes...look for someone else. You also have control over the scenery and location... if you feel like you don't then that might be your first step in rewriting the script.

The most important thing I hope you get from reading this is understanding that bad chapters can still be a part of a great story... just as wrong paths can eventually lead to the right place... and failed dreams can create successful and happy people... sometimes you have to look at your own character and rewrite your actions and dialogue too. Falling down is part of every story in life... but getting back up and getting moving is what makes you and the story great.

And now back to that sublime ensemble cast... you find all the right people that fit together perfectly seemingly effortlessly...There are certain times in our life story where everything and every character seems to be working together in harmony and everything unfolds and moves forward the way you want it to... unlike movies, television and the theatre real life is not meant to always be like this (and it shouldn't be)... but that does not mean we can't try to make every word and gesture as masterful and full of meaning and promise  as possible ... just keep in mind that rewrites are what keep life and almost everything in Hollywood at the top of it's game... but remember this... don't just focus on who you want to write out of your story... spend some serious time thinking about who you want to write in... and why and if you don't have the right fit... keep auditioning the talent until you find exactly who and what you are looking for to move your story forward... and then play to the house and take your deserved bow and applause.

Summer is my favorite season  and I'm always sorry to see it end... but because it's followed by fall  it always reminds me that things need to end before something new can begin... so now where will we go from here and what will be our next destination on the journey?... I'm really not sure but like everything else... I'll give it some careful consideration.

So in terms of the story... the script is just as important as the characters... take a few moments to write a scenario or two where you can actually heal and move forward from  the things that were said and done and that no one ever apologized for... and if you need to make those apologies to someone else do it sooner rather than later and try at whatever cost to avoid being the toxic influence in someone else's story.

... Oh and one more thing... someone gave me a great piece of advice when I first started auditioning and performing that I think translates perfectly for real life... "It's not about being noticed that is so important... but being remembered!"

Stay safe... see you next time!

Up In The Air

 

First of all I hope everyone had a wonderful summer and is safe and sane during these uncertain times... Since June I've learned much about myself, other people and life and living, keeping promises and the meaning of true friendship... all that aside I can't believe it's been five years since I started this project on 8, September 2015... on one hand the time has flown by quickly and on the other hand for the last two to four years in particular it's been painfully slow at times... but mostly steady. Before I say anything I want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading from the start and to those of you who have joined along the way...

And I would like to give special thank you and a virtual hug and kiss to everyone who has reached out to us by telephone and text and e-mail and USPS during this difficult time of feeling isolated  and alone...between being locked down, quarantined  and  dealing with everything else... it has meant the world to us.

Life has brought many changes and twists and turns since 2009... I was traveling and spent about 80% of my time away from home and logged about 100K miles every year for about seven or eight years (mostly on United) but I saw a couple of movies that  year and it completely changed the game for me... but I'll get back to this in a bit...

I have spent most of my life up in the air for one reason or another...

The thing all these flights had in common was I always knew where and when I was going  to be landing... one of the things I learned somewhere between take off and landing was that happiness is not a destination but  the manner in which you travel along the way... and maybe most importantly is that everyone should feel like tomorrow is more than just another day.

I was heading to the airport one day late in 2008 and was going to be missing my anniversary and a few holiday parties with friends... and I got to thinking that I did not have a million days left in life to make up for all the things I was missing and started to formulate a strategy  to take control of my life and what is most important... in spring I saw a movie called "Up" and in late fall  another named "Up In The Air" and they  both had a  very profound and impact on my life and the decisions I ended up making subsequently...

"Up" is essentially the story about two young lovers who find they have the same dreams... and they grow up and live their life and plan their plans around their dreams... but life ends of getting in the way... if you have not seen the movie I'm not giving anything away... except when his wife dies he decides to fly away to the the place they dreamed of and planned their life around... he does not count on a stow-away on the journey to Paradise Falls... and what happens and what they discover you will have to find out for yourself... but the central theme like any good plot is that we are all looking for meaning in our lives...

... As for "Up In The Air"... George Clooney aside... I was already living that life in a more humane manner but the difference was his character did not want a life and a family... he liked his life to be different destinations and up in the air...and I did not and made some significant sacrifices to have a family and a life... but whatever I lost was worth it in what I found with the love of my life and the journey we started  that year... Change is daunting but sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith....

As I said I learned a lot myself and the world and other people this past summer... and it's really been a mixed bag and I know that you sometimes have to swallow the bitter pills in order to taste the  sweet but this has been the year that has brought lessons about life and living and  death and dying and almost everything in between. But the summer and the year have been a wake up call not just to us but that it's long overdue for everyone in the world that it's time for change.

One thing I learned in the last year (I'm sorry that I did not know this sooner)... you should always taste your own words before you spit them out because if you consider them very carefully your words can be the stars in someones life and your own, or stains...either way they are how you will be remembered by them in the future.

So with summer ending we have found ourselves in the in-between moments of life that are often uncomfortable because the past does not  quite fit anymore and the blueprints to the future have not unfolded yet...Right now our life and some of it's complicated details are all up in the air... and we don't know when and where we are going to land... so I'm going to be on a bit of a hiatus until we get our life more organized and grounded... So if you have not already done so it might be an excellent time for you to read back in the archives of the what I've shared here in the last five years (a friend of mine once told me he read it all over a long weekend)... oh and one more thing... with everything going on in the world right now I think that it's more important than ever to practice kindness in the way we speak to and treat ourselves and others... because we are all going through a difficult time right now... but I will leave you with this until next time... The first thing I say to myself every morning and the last thing every night is... 

I still don't know how... but if you tune in and make the most of your powers of observation... the world offers new answers and questions every single day... but you need to be aware of the sometimes subtle messages in the words of the waves and the whispers in the wind... once I found an answer listening to the sound of snow blowing across the windows on a quiet drive ... but sometimes it's more obvious if you know how to read the handwriting on the wall...

I know better than anyone else I know that you can't go back and change the beginning ... but you can start where you are now and change the ending...So stay safe for now but keep reaching for the stars!