A New Chapter

 

Before I start... I want to take a moment to express my thanks to everyone who has been reading and especially the people who have left comments and/or sent email or messages of appreciation... Since I've been writing here the last 10 years I've gained some valuable insight recounting my life adventures and gained new awareness from times of quiet reflection... I'm mostly thankful that some of what I have shared has been inspiring or at least thought provoking... so with the new chapter we are all starting today...I hope that 2026 will show us all the road to new possibilities and challenges... that will lead to new adventures and remarkable memories. More than anything else I hope the next chapter is filled with happiness and a renewed or an altogether  new sense of purpose.

Someone sent me an email asking about the circumstances that I wrote about last month when said I had spent the holidays hospitalized and much of the new year in physical therapy... I did not go into more detail because... frankly I just did not want to share some very private details of my life... but what I will say is... I was grieving a life that was lost too soon and at the same time one that I would not ever have again because of it...at the same time I was trying to carve out a new future that I was unsure existed... I was not myself anymore and was unsure of what was left in the rubble that was once my life that I could use to rebuild a new life and identity... I'm fine now... but it took a lot of time and work... I had to learn the important lesson that my problems and issues could only be solved by me and understanding the complexities of my life...and the only way out was to step outside of myself and let go of the past to the point of no return and start rebuilding...  I had to learn the hard way if you want to reach distant shores you sometimes have to be brave enough to swim outside your comfort zone and have the courage to lose site of the shore where you started.

I could never have done it alone... a partial list are the people who helped me heal physically were doctors, nurses and physical  therapists... and the others helped heal a heart they didn't break...the people who listened to me talk about the same situation over and over until I found resolution and closure... I can't forget to thank the people who encouraged and pushed me... and the people who inspired me to look deep inside to find the person buried in the debris of grief to find myself again... and take the brave steps into the next chapter of my life. Life is very fragile..we lose ourselves, we get broken and miss opportunities... but if we're lucky we get a second or a third chance... maybe even a fourth if we're really lucky... to refocus and rebuild... the thing that makes life so fragile is if we stop believing in it and ourselves... it will evaporate and wind down like an old clock.

One of the final turning points for me pivoting out of that period of my life was someone telling me..."Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the pages... how carefully would you read each page?... that is what life is"... so as I've pointed out here many times we can't go back and change the past but we can review and learn what we need to know from the past to move forward...and we can't obsess about the future because it will most likely rob us of what we need to learn and experience now in the present... I had a conversation with someone several years ago who kept talking about how great and easy and carefree their life was as a child... during the course of the conversation I suggested that perhaps it was not that their life was that magnificent during childhood (mine certainly was not) but maybe the magical quality we had as children was that we were not living with past regrets and future fears... we were living almost entirely in the present. One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me when I was much younger... "If you want to get someplace in life don't follow the crowds"

I think we have to be pragmatic and give the future the respect and reverence it deserves... because time does fly and we need to take into account our future needs... but doing simple things that give us joy will sweeten the life we are living today...

So I'm going to give you seven things to do to help make the next chapter flow a little easier...

1. Don't chase anyone or anything
2. Don't beg anyone to stay
3. Know your worth
4. Save space in your life for the people who matter
5. Accept what can and cannot be changed 
6. Leave what isn't for you
7. Love yourself

This last one is important because no one is ever going to love you the way you imagined and dreamed about...no one can read your mind and have the ability to take a star from the sky and hand it to you...no one is going to show up on horseback with the glass slipper you lost at the ball... that's why you have to fill all of your life with love for yourself... so that when any other love finds it's way to you then that love just adds more icing to the cake that you already frosted.

So now we have all the new chapters to write for this year... we have exactly 12 months until 2027... don't let anyone waste your time...go after your dreams...cut out unnecessary distractions...remove toxic people and walk away form toxic situations...focus on you, your goals and your happiness.

In the last few years I've adopted three rules that have served me well...

• Don't lie to me
• Don't use me
• If you don't want to be around me anymore... just leave

Some of the things that have really helped me cut the static and confusion out of everyday life is... I accept people for who they are...I carefully observe what they say and how they act, and I position them in their appropriate place in my life (or out of it)... it's important that you should never feel you are not good enough or better than anyone else..the only person you should ever worry about being better than is the person you were yesterday. Don't be embarrassed because of your current situation... most everyone has already been there or they still are and like you are trying to find a way out... but you need to make a plan and stay focused... finally if you are alone... please remember...you will be everything to the right someone. You'll make it... I promise.

If you need to dust off  a few things to improve your skill set in this chapter... just make sure you have... 

Manners

Morals

Respect

Character

Common Sense

Trust

Patience

Class

Integrity 

Most everything will probably start to fall into place...but remember sometimes it make take 10 or twenty years to get to that one year that will change your life... don't give up.

So the priorities for the next chapter...

Fuck anyone who made you feel like you were less than... and forgive yourself for believing them... The next chapter is your turn... you are here to take back everything that was stolen or lost. Every day think about the things that make you feel the most joyous and carefree--- make sure you do those things.... or at least think about them every day.

Be brave, be strong, be a warrior... help be the resistance for a better tomorrow...

2025 was a very tenuous year... it's going to take everything everyone has to start to put everything Humpty Dumpty broke down this past year... my hope is that this year  Corporate America is going to rediscover its love of democracy and diversity as the current regime stumbles and fails. 

We have an opportunity to make 2026 a year of positive and dramatic change for ourselves and  the country - if we stay focused.

Next month I think we need to talk about some of the good things that have happened in the world... because it's been such a bumpy ride we have lost sight of some of them... any other ideas?... food, fashion or travel?... or something else?