The Safety Net

I'll be honest I've spent most of my life dancing on a highwire (figuratively speaking) without worrying about a safety net and the consequences of not having one. I've been daring, bold, brazen and have taken chances participating in dangerous sports, adventures and activities since I was a child... I am a certified skin diver, and accomplished at down hill skiing (and once upon a time jumping) and surfing... hang gliding was about the only thing I had second thoughts about pursuing.

... I also worked briefly doing stunt work. I said last week I had been a flight attendant for a short time but it seemed different at the time; the biggest frightening issue we faced regularly was not having a kosher meal that had been specially requested onboard with the other catered meals... I also mentioned  that I can evacuate an aircraft in 90 seconds in an emergency... and I got  an e-mail message from someone asking if I ever actually had to do it... the answer is yes... four times... two as a passenger and two as a flight attendant... I actually broke a leg once because the evacuation slide did not inflate properly... little did I know then that someone would give me skydiving lessons one day as a birthday present so I could embrace how far I've made it and the importance of not loosing my nerve half way through the game... because I was at a crossroads in my life where I was afraid my luck was starting to run out.

The truth of the matter is the safety net has nothing to do with luck... The real safety net is believing in yourself  and in addition it is all about skill and talent and I'll even admit that sometimes fate is a factor involved in the important leaps and bounds we make in life... but it's equally important not to always have your head in the clouds or being careless and to face reality and have the ability to adapt to change and in a perfect world instigate it.

I think people sometimes do themselves a tremendous disadvantage second guessing or doubting themselves... or perhaps they were influenced by parents or teachers telling them that their dreams were too big or not attainable to the average person or that there is too much competition  and blah blah blah... I know because I heard all this growing up and was told in no uncertain terms that I should not dream so big and be more practical and that if  my education was to be financed by my parents I had to study something that I could fall back on in case my dreams did not become a reality (so I had to have a double major)... long story short I was once in a job interview with someone ( I have two resumes one for entertainment and one for the business world) who was reviewing my business qualifications and when they got the part that outlined my educational background they rather smugly said " So... did you ever actually do anything with a theatre arts degree?"... I said "as a matter of fact I have been in about  a dozen shows on and off broadway and off-off broadway... and about a dozen more in regional and national tours and community theatre projects and also have worked in television, radio and film and have  done  choreography and  production work... so tell me a little bit about your background so that I can mock and insult you." I gathered up my things and got up and left because I just don't want to work with stupid mean people anymore... it's one of those life is too short things for me now.

My actual dream growing up was to be the next singing and dancing sensation at MGM and take Hollywood by storm... but I had to alter those dreams along the way to work with the reality of the times in that MGM studios ceased to exist as a working studio and movie musicals were not as popular as they once were... luckily for me I got to be involved with one of the last popular musicals filmed in the 70's... and a few years later dance and roller skate with Gene Kelly on the silver screen.

I said last week that you should never let someone talk you out of your dreams and ambitions or let them try to undermine them by planting the seeds of doubt in your mind. but you should be prepared for several bumps in the road because nothing worthwhile is ever easy.... If you took drivers education then you know the bump in the road sign means you should... adjust your speed and slow down to avoid loss of control... I feel the best thing to do when we hit the bumps in real life is to do the same thing... I've been hitting a few of them recently and have taken some time to evaluate that I need to become better and more skilled at my game if I want to continue the climb towards excellence.

As a side note on this... one of the first things I learned in drivers ed was that you yield to pedestrians, you don't leave the scene of an accident and you don't drink and drive (texting and talking on a cell phone was not yet invented when I started driving)... am I the only one who remembers this? It seems like everyday when I watch the news someone has hit someone walking and then takes off only later to be caught and was drinking or doing some other illegal substance (or texting and or being distracted)... I never thought one of the most dangerous activities of the day could be going for a stroll down the street... rant over... OK not quite yet... I see so many people trying to get ahead by lying and cheating and if you have children or are a role model such as an athlete  then it sends a message that it's OK or that your despicable actions should not have consequences.

One of the things that has helped me along the way is that if you tell the truth you never have to worry about getting the facts mixed up and if you take responsibility for your actions if you screw up it's  much easier to clean it up and fix it.

But to get ahead you have to be really excellent at what you do... that's why I'm so opposed to every child getting a trophy or ribbon in little league sports events... I think it's important to learn that there is a clear winner and to get there you need skill and determination... every single trophy, ribbon or prize I've been awarded  I've earned and all of those that I lost someone else deserved them... I don't know who started this notion that everyone gets a prize just for showing up because that is not the way it works in life.

Lewis Hamilton

I have been to quite a few places and attended many events in my life but probably one of the most exciting was being at the Grand Prix in Monaco... a few that were not as bewitching  as I had anticipated were The Cannes Film Festival, being backstage at The Academy Awards and a 20th High School Reunion... Cannes and The Oscars are a story unto themselves but as far as the reunion goes I was getting back together with people many  of whom I had not seen since we graduated and we missed all of the monumental moments in each others lives that bring people together and become part of the basis of friendship... I used to think that we could only make friends when we are young and the relationship if it stands the many tests of time and life will move forward with us... I was delighted to learn recently this is only partially true...  and we can find real friendship later in life... last year I met a new true friend and she recently gave me a book "Bringing Home The Birkin" by Michael Tonello.... the book like my friend is fun smart, witty, and an adventure spiced with class and a little sass... some of the story line brought back memories of places I've visited... so next week we are going to pack that carry on bag and revisit some of my favorite places.

I also mended a fence with an old dear friend who I have not spoken to in several years because of an unfortunate misunderstanding when I saw him on the street last week; in a nano-second  I realized that forgiveness will not change what happened in the past but it will enlarge and hopefully enhance the future... See you next week.