I've Got A Secret!

Do you remember the old television panel show "I've Got A Secret?" If not; it was one of those panel shows popular in the 50's and 60's where people would come on and a group of celebrity panelists would try to guess their secret by asking questions with a simple yes or no answer... the secrets were mostly amusing and sometimes outlandish... I think it's part of human nature to want to know  secrets about people, places and things. I think as important as it is to share secrets that will help people learn and grow it's equally important to know when to keep a secret that might hurt, hinder or diminish someone or something in any way.

Can you keep a secret? I can... I have a few really juicy tidbits of knowledge about people and situations that I've either promised I would never discuss with anyone under any circumstances or I've taken it upon myself to decide that there are a few things in life that should be kept from the scrutiny of conversation or the judgement of others.... mainly in this category are a hand full of love affairs I've had with celebrities and/or sports figures (years ago)... it would serve no purpose in hurting someone or their family or reputation. I have always been very protective of my own privacy and I respect it equally for others and their life... There was another secret once where I figured out the identity of someone's birth mother quite by chance while traveling due partly to a remarkable likeness between mother and daughter and facts revealed during a rather lengthy conversation with a complete stranger and subsequently later meeting an acquaintance of hers by chance that filled in some of the missing pieces that eventually made the facts fall into place... I had to make a decision that sharing what I had learned was going to end badly for everyone involved in a few lives and families ... As fate would have it they eventually did find each other and there was a relatively happy ending to that whole saga but I suspect events would have been quite different if I had decided to get involved with it.

The truth of the matter is we all have secrets of our own and some that we know about other people and their circumstances; often knowing how to deal with them can be a measure of how complicated or care free our own lives are because of them. I've learned a great deal from secrets; from the up side of developing a healthy self-esteem and a high level of integrity to the down side of learning that no one ever broke up a happy home or ran away from one.

There are a whole legion of people who love to gossip and tell other peoples secrets to one another but I'm always somewhat shy of getting too involved with them because they seem to revel and clap their little hands with delight with bad or sensitive information about others... I would much rather hear about someone's accomplishments and happiness in regard to a life filled with upbeat good times and laughter than about pain or illness or a crumbling marriage or business ventures... I think some people only feel better about themselves if they are privy to the information regarding  the misfortunes of others. I rarely repeat bad news or disparaging information unless it's going to beneficial or important to someone in some manner and hopefully as a result it will help to resolve or bring closure to some unfortunate event or issue... but I almost always repeat good news and glad tidings.

I think it was around 1982 that I met Carly Simon when she was involved with Al Corley (the first Steven Carrington on Dynasty)... over the course of several months through a mutual acquaintance I heard all the details of the the relationship and eventual breakup and I thought to myself how many people are discussing the intimate aspects of my life?  A close friend assured me that I lived my life much more discretely than most and any discussion was speculation vs. fact or first hand knowledge... I was somewhat reassured by this and the fact that the issues surrounding me and my life and career were not interesting enough to be fodder for gossip columns and People Magazine... This is partly the reason I've tried to stay out of the harsh glare and subsequent burn of spending too much time soaking up the limelight... and knowing that certain shades and shadows of limelight are never flattering.

I was reminded of the album "No Secrets" and specifically of the song "We have No Secrets" and thought of the irony... I met Miss Simon again on my one and only voyage on the QEII and throughly enjoyed getting to know her but I never brought up the first meeting in the dark and noisy restaurant 10 years prior. I ran into her again when Barney's opened on Madison Avenue and walked into a concert she was giving in Grand Central Station in 1995 and  decided to take the rest of the day off and stay and enjoy the show.

I think with the the internet and technology secrets are  endangered but the human element like with many other things in life it's the secret ingredient.  One of the biggest and most discussed secrets about Carly Simon is who she wrote the song  "You're So Vain" about... speculation has listed Warren Beatty, Kris Krisofferson , Mick Jagger and James Taylor... as far as I know the only 2 people who know for sure are Carly Simon and Dick Ebersol (Susan St. James husband) who made a $50,000.00 donation to a charity nominated by Carly Simon who gave strict instructions to keep the secret. As far as I know he is a man of his word... which is how I separate a prince from a peasant... your word has to be as good as gold in life or you are nothing in my opinion. 

A few of my own secrets worth sharing are about having a better life and being happy...

1. Do your homework...if you are going someplace or want to buy something or you want to be something more than you are now find out as much as you can about it and go to work on going there, getting it or becoming it.
2. Make other people feel special... if you are hanging around the right crowd it will be reciprocated.
3. Be sincere... for the most part almost everyone is receptive to people who are kind and thoughtful.
4. Make people laugh... and know when to laugh at yourself or the world. No one really wants to be around someone who is always negative and unhappy... think about it.
5. Dress well... someone once told me that we are judged on our appearance and the way we present ourselves and wearing good clothes gives us access to "The Club Of Good Clothes Wearers" and that can subsequently open many other doors and opportunities... besides even when I have a cold putting my self together and wearing something nice always helps.
6. Lead an interesting life... you won't regret it.
7. Aim high and go for it... and don't be afraid to ask for a leg up once and a while...

Sometimes you can catch a star... so keep dreaming and reaching for the stars and always keep in mind that you will be remembered by what you share in life and you and only you will have the satisfaction and rewards of knowing what you have kept a secret.

See you next week... I'm going to be discussing The Olympics for a couple of weeks... not the games in Rio but my experiences and observations over the years and most importantly... Olympic Spirit!