Are You Ready For Your Closeup?

I think we all remember the words uttered by Gloria Swanson in 'Sunset Boulevard' as Norma Desmond... "I'm ready for my closeup." I've been thinking about the past and of Hollywood in particular and I think it's vital not to be something out of the past or reclusive but of the moment and embracing current ideas and technologies and ready to seize all the opportunities life has to offer... Perhaps one of the most difficult choices in life is knowing when to fold your cards and cut your losses and move on and reinvent yourself if necessary to be cast in the current productions life or Hollywood has to offer.

One of the most important things missing today that was a product of the golden age of Hollywood is creating an image... I think few people really consider it anymore as being of any real importance... but let's face it a lot of people are great looking (or can be made to look good on film) and there are loads of people with talent... but how many have real star quality? This is where your image and the style you create for yourself come into play. I can't stress enough that how you dress and clothing have absolutely nothing to do with style... clothing does not have style--- you have style in the way you put it all together and how you present yourself and how you pull it all off--- in a nutshell you have to talk the talk and walk the walk... and that is the start of creating an image.

Creating an image as an actor in film and on stage is defining in yourself and projecting the character in a script... but in life it should be the essence of who you are and what you want to be... to find this you have to take a good hard look in the mirror and and at your soul and not be afraid of what is there and making any necessary changes... think about how you want to be seen and remembered... We all know people who are crass and rude and foul mouthed and ill mannered and we are uncomfortable being around and we put up with when we have to but we can't wait to escape and get as far away them as possible... and we all know people who are fun and easy to be around and we enjoy almost every moment we spend with them... The choice is that simple! Which type of person do you want to be and be remembered as?

I said last week if you don't know what ebullient means then look it up... (just in case you were too busy)

ebullient

[ih-buhl-yuh nt, ih-boo l-]

Spell

adjective

1.

overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited:

I once overheard someone describe me as being very ebullient and it seemed like the nicest compliment I have ever had because at the time I was working in a situation that was not exactly ideal and I was in a city that is closer the the bottom of my list of favorite places and working with and for people who were... how can I put this?... difficult at best. But I was working closely with someone who I liked and respected and  we brought out the best in each other and together we were the perfect person. On top of that I made a commitment to myself a long time ago that whatever arena I was working in I would fully engage myself and do my best work... sometimes it's not as easy as making the initial promise but I've almost always gone to sleep at night knowing I brought my best game possible. If you add decorum to the mix... by that I mean behaviour that is considered correct, polite, respectable with regard to decency, deportment and dignity you can go almost anyplace in the world including The White House or Buckingham Palace if that's on your bucket list.

If only it were just this easy... but seriously if this is where you or almost any public or political figure decides to start the world will start to become a much, much nicer place to live and work.

Thank you notes are something that for some reason are starting to become extinct and are being replaced by texts and e-mails... but if you  conduct even part of your life in the manner of what it takes to write a decent thank you or condolence note you are on your way...

If someone gives you a gift, or you are the guest in someone's home you really need to hand write a nice note or people are going to think you are a dolt... I've even reconsidered them for job interviews... send them it puts you in a class (almost) to yourself... but when writing one or using as a template for conducting yourself in life remember---

• Be sincere...be thoughtful and meaningful in your thanks for people for taking their time in considering you.
• Make it personal... remember points in conversations about a family member or someone's love of football or taking the time to write down their recipe for homemade pizza... this illustrates that you actually listen to people and are considerate of others consideration of you.
• Write or say what is in your heart or forgot to say when you last saw that person.
• Time is of the essence... write a note within a day or two of an interview or visit or having received a gift or  simply some kindness... or don't let time pass in letting people you care about know how you feel.

As I was preparing my notes this week I had the scathingly brilliant idea of opening a business that gave image makeovers by teaching social success skills... guess what?... Someone already thought of it... I hope they are doing well and have loads of people attending because from some of my recent  professional and personal experiences it's what the world needs now in addition to love sweet love... and world peace.

I don't know what is involved with their program but I'll include an abbreviated list of a few things that I find important in establishing your image.

1. Do not snap your fingers in a restaurant or any other business establishment unless you are headlining a Flamenco act.
2. Don't talk to the busboy or service personnel in broken english.
3. Don't gesture with silver wear (especially knives)
4. Wait to start eating until everyone is served.
5. Don't talk with a mouth full of food.
6. Don't show up at anyones house with luggage empty handed.
7. Turn your cell phone to vibrate and leave the table or store and go outside if you have to have a conversation.
8. Whenever you are getting together with people read the newspaper, and the most recent  copy of People (you will always have something to discuss) If it's a business dinner don't just talk shop.

If you are visiting on business stay in a hotel and let your company pay for it, and unless you are family, calabash cousins or the best of friends and plan your stay for four days or more... stay in a hotel. 

If you are having people in your home... create an atmosphere that is warm and inviting... know how to make a cocktail ...if you don't buy a book or hire a bartender.

Have fresh flowers... (I'm in favor of this even if I'm not having company)

Birds of Paradise and Anthuriums  are my favorite because they are interesting and have little fragrance... if you can't find them almost any flower that is white is fine... but you choose what suits you best but  remember you don't want the fragrance of the flowers to overwhelm the room.

Candles and low lighting are always a good idea when entertaining... as almost everyone looks and feels splendid in subdued lighting.... but again try to stay away from scented candles as few will actually enhance the food or beverages you may be serving. 

I could go on and on with this... but I won't. Go out and start building your image as a strong, intelligent and happy person and the rest will start to fall into place but it's always important to remember to try to see yourself as you project yourself to the world; I learned something important once when I was not wearing contact lenses or eyeglasses (I have to really narrow my eyes and squint to try to pull things into focus)... and someone asked me why I was so mad and someone else thought I looked mean... neither image is how I want to remembered... this lesson also taught me to reconsider why someone appears to look mean or angry and not snap to immediate conclusions about them.

I said last week that I thought charm and flirting were becoming a lost art... I think it's partially due to the fact that many of us rely so much on texting over talking in person... given a choice I would rather deal with someone face to face. Charm and flirting have almost nothing to do with sexual conquest unless that is your ultimate goal in social interaction but for me and many others it's simply embellishing everyday life with a good dash of ebullience mixed with kindness and consideration to make everyone feel better about their day and experience with you... so I use it whenever I can with the butcher, baker and candlestick maker and almost always get a better cut of meat or an extra pork chop wrapped in my order and a bakers dozen is always better than twelve... and the light you get from making someone else's day a little brighter is always worth the little bit of extra effort it takes... but make sure when creating your image and in your compliments and gestures that it's sincere... and hopefully sincerity will be the new norm.

See you next week and a special thank you to Bill Cunningham for making me feel like a star (twice). Rest In Peace.. the world of fashion and the streets of New York are going to be emptier without you.