"There's No Place Like Home... There's No Place Like Home... There's No Place Like Home"... I could not agree more but I need to get something off my chest--- "I think Dorothy was a fool"... I mean really who would want to go back to a farm in Kansas living a black and white life after being in The Emerald City?... OK whatever... I guess she had something or someone she wanted to go back to and I guess in her heart she felt like she belonged there. I myself would have taken over the Wizards job after he left or opened an art gallery or boutique. I've just never felt I was a good fit with or properly understood the people in any of the places west of Chicago and east of Denver and I think they feel the same way about me... the truth is if something is right it should feel like sliding into a warm bath. This week is all about where we live... but before we get to that I need to go back to something else for a minute...
I got a couple of phone calls regarding It's My Party" ...I have been to some nifty parties given in peoples homes (I don't know how I forgot about these) First of all I know someone I'll call her Adele--- because that is her name who was the hostess with the mostest for years who could throw a small get together seating twenty some people at her dining room table or set up 10-12 round tables of ten in her atrium or around her pool and make each guest feel at home and welcome and special... I also learned something about grace and in particular grace under pressure from her once... she had those floating shelves holding her glass wear over the bar area collapse shortly before most of the guests were due to arrive (it was all Steuben glass ) and without a flinch she just shrugged and said "That's why we have insurance" and she and I and a few others grabbed a broom a swept up thousands of dollars of broken glass and put it all in a waste bin... and she used other glasses and met the arriving guests cool, calm and collected and smiling. I've always tried to take a page from her book whenever I'm feeling stressed out.
I also went to a really dazzling holiday party in the 80's hosted by Aaron and Candy Spelling... it was during the height of his television empire and I had done some small and pretty insignificant work on a couple of the programs and hardly enough to garner an invitation to such an event but I was the +1 for someone much higher on the Spelling food chain... the guests, the food, the music and the mood of the party were sublime and truly an Aaron Spelling Production.... In spite of everything that night I was bewitched by the house (and this is even going back to when they lived in Bel Air before they moved to Spelling Manor in Holmby Hills)... Like everyone else who has heard of it I was captivated by the Candy Spelling "Gift Wrap Room" I myself have seen it and now I have my rendition of it in a hall closet (it does not even begin to compare but It suits my needs just swell)
In between these periods I had a friend who I'll call Donald... because that is his name and we were discussing how we grew up and some of our observances about people and social norms and behaviors and we came up with that we were both products of "Simple Fancy People" meaning we had advantages but did not flaunt anything and lived a fairly unembellished life and preferred simple over elaborate.... Then there are "Fancy Fancy People"... I think the Spelling's and perhaps the characters on his television show Dynasty sum up this life style and attitude the best... and finally there are "Fancy Simple People" I'm not going to go into much detail but mostly they like whatever has the highest perceived value to others whether it suits them or not.
I once knew someone who lived on Antelo Road not far from the Spellings... we were better than mere acquaintances but were not really real friends (the way I describe real friendship) but we were in and out of each others lives for a while and enjoyed each other... I loved the house because it was everything an LA house should be... it was spacious and bright and had a fabulous view and the de rigueur swimming pool and tennis courts ... but what I loved was the fact it had a workout facility that would rival any gym but it also had a racquet ball court... ... this was the house where I realized you just can't live here like this without employing several people to maintain it.
I've lived a life where people live in my home and cook and clean and take care of us... but I prefer something that I can deal with myself... I know how to cook and take care of a swimming pool and squeegee a tennis court after the rain and tend to a garden... I just prefer to keep things as simple as possible and I can walk around the house naked if I feel like it and not have to worry about startling anyone... to have this kind of simplicity you can't have a mansion if you want to also have a life.... Another house that I've been to a couple of parties was on East 63rd Street in New York City... I always loved this house too because of the design and lines....
I think one of the nicest compliments I've ever received was from my friend--- I'll call her Lori... because that is her name... she said to me that we have one of the most comfortable, warm and inviting homes of all the people we know collectively... between the two of us we know people who have spent a great deal of time and money on their homes or they work in the design industry and have access everything available... Our home has evolved not only from two people combining their lives but also from things that we have picked up up in our wonderful meandering life... we have treasures from around the world (I am still forever grateful to Pan Am for never charging me shipping and overage when I travelled with them) I have a marble lamp from Italy I would never even dream of trying to drag home today.
Someone once said our house looked like a Calvin Klein showroom with a trip to Japan thrown in and a layover in Santa Fe... that pretty much does sum it up and I sometimes marvel how it all works together. Your home is a reflection of who you are and/or your dreams... My preferences lean toward comfortable, clean, bright, simple and elegant... because that's who I am... so don't just listen to decorators or magazines; listen to your heart. Use everything else as a guide... I have a whole file of things I've pulled from magazines and newpapers for ideas on living, eating and what to wear and where to go etc... and I pull them out and peruse them when I need some inspiration for something.
I think maybe one of the worst things in life is the effect on your soul of living in a hated home... I've resided in such a place and as an avoidance tactic you dream up all sorts of excuses to keep your distance from the house or those who also dwell there like working late or going out of town as much as possible or you just have it as a place where you just go to sleep and change clothes and leave again without actually living there... No one should live like this because it's not really living it's just surviving a house or tolerating it's other inhabitants... I always see this as running parallel to being married to the wrong person or working in a field you detest or for someone you don't like or respect. A house should not only have curb appeal but dwell appeal as well.
I remember the first time someone was explaining Fung Shui to me and I thought "OMG Fung Shui rhymes with Oi Vey"... but the funny thing was as he explained all the things that I had instinctively done that use the principles and as a I read about it in greater detail the whole concept is pretty simple in that you are creating a living space that is balanced and in harmony... part of this for me is being ultra-organized.
There is another house that I have visited once or twice on Diamond Head Road in Honolulu... and while it's not everything I want in a house it's pretty close... If it ever becomes a reality I might have to break down and hire a housekeeper who can visit more that a few hours once a week.... We will cross that bridge when we get there.
Someone once asked me why I was so meticulous about our home and I explained that I can't do very much about what happens in the outside world beyond our front door but I'm completely in control of creating a place of peace and harmony where we feel happy and at home on the inside of the door... everyone should be able to have that on their own terms.
It was with a heavy heart and sadness when I sat down today to write this as I'm somewhat overwhelmed by the events unfolding in the world particularly the devastation in Paris...I realize those killed were a brother or sister or daughter or son or husband or wife or a friend... my heart and my thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their family and loved ones. My spirits were lifted slightly when I heard that people were opening their homes to strangers as the city shut down... I hope everyone has found their way home to start healing and to find some solace and peace.
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